Love Isn't Always Easy
by VioletW
Summary: Set for Skins Fire, based on summaries and spoilers *before it was aired!*. Emily and Naomi didn't make it. So Emily attends University in New York and falls for her room mate who is just as special as she is. Will she be able to choose between who she should love, and who she can't help but love?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there, I am new to writing Skins Fan Fiction so I really hope I'm doing things right. This is an idea I've had in my head since hearing about Skins Fire. I thought about what it would be like if Emily finally met someone as special as her, someone she 'should' be with. Now hear me out, I love Naomi to bits. But let's face it, even though she has her reasons, she doesn't treat Emily the way she should! So please be open minded and don't hate me for bringing a new girl into this. I will try to write from many POV'S, right now I will start off in the new girl... NOT LIKE THAT! Jeez, dirty minded. Anyway, not to give anything away but I am a huuge Naomily fan, so don't be so sad (or angry :s) about their lack-of-relationship right now; you never know what's in the future...**

I am in love with Emily Fitch.

If there was a word stronger than love I could use, I would use it. she changed my life, and made it worth living. I'd spent my whole life trying to save people, and it made me loose myself. the people I couldn't save, the people who stood in my way, the people who sent monsters to kill me. maybe I tried to save people so I didn't feel so lonely, who knows. all I know is that I'd finally snapped and shut off, hardened myself up at the world so they couldn't bury me along with my sorrows and scars.

The day I met Emily Fitch, the Golem I turned myself into started to crumble. I had arrived at the University early because I didn't exactly have anywhere else to go. I'd spent the night wandering the streets, trying to find someway to retire for the night. No, I'm not homeless, I just can't sleep. not since... ugh. SO not the story to tell right now. so I was in this tiny dorm room, sitting on one of the beds, with my bags in the corner between the bed frame and bookshelf. I was looking at my big black guitar case I had brought with me, with my Epiphone Sheraton ii safely snugged inside the hard case. I had bought it after everything, hoping a new instrument that needed exploring would be able to intrest me enough to heal. It didn't help, and instead I just brought it with me everywhere I went, hoping the inspiration to play would hit me. See, music is my solace. Whenever life is too much for me (which always seems to be the case), I would listen to music, or pick up one of my guitars to make my own. It always helped, and I'd get lost in it. But after everything, I couldn't play anymore. I'd lost my safe place, and myself.

So it came as no suprise that when she poked her head in, I froze up. It seems to be my thing now. My body tenses as if getting ready for a fight and my eyes avoid people for fear that if I look at them or make eye contact, they'll suddenly see me. Of course, I'm not invisible. but for some reason my body seemed to think this would made me undetectable to passers by. There was a quiet knock on the door and I finally plucked up the courage to look up, and in that moment I knew, I was doomed. I made eye contact for the first time in what felt like years. Yeah, I know, I have made eye contact with others from time to time, but this was different. I looked into the brightest brown eyes I've ever seen. She looked back into mine, and I felt naked. I felt that she saw right through me, and into my soul.

She was small, I could tell. You see, the thing about these moments is they are a blur, like a drunken headrush or waking from a 20 year coma. Her sillouhette was about a foot or two shorter than me. She had dark brown hair and flawless pale skin. Then, it happened. She smiled. Something clicked in me at her simple action, and I almost wanted to cry. I don't cry, not anymore. I didn't cry after the funeral, I didn't cry while placing my monthly flowers at the graves. Not when I stubbed my toe and broke it while packing for University, not when that guy almost broke my cheek lastnight trying to steal my guitar. _Thank fuck for mma_, I thought. My head felt like it was filled with wet cotton, but somehow through that I could hear her husky voice say, something. So I came back to the world and suddenly I was taking in her appearance more clearly. She wore a plain grey tshirt with black sweatpants. You know the ones with the two yellow stripes down the legs? Oh, and her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, some stray locks strewn across her face and neck. I noticed I was staring for too long, but I was hoping I still looked spaced out by the time I found my voice to respond.

So I asked her as politely as I could to repeat herself. No, not like that. I know I said I'd stoned up but that didn't make me loose my manners. So she spoke again.

"Is this room 313?"

"Yeah, it is"

I tried to give her the most normal smile I could, you know the one you give to cashiers at grocery stores or to the bank teller. The one where you don't show anything about yourself.

"Great, my name is Emily. I think I'm your new flatmate"

She gave me a smile that made my heart thump. And that, I know, I've never felt before.

"Uhm, I'm September" I croak.

She smiled again, and I was suprised I wasn't a big pile of goo.

"Nice to meet you" she said, and I smiled back.

"Not from around here I gather?"

_Wow, stupid. You think? She has a freakin' accent you idiot_.

"Hah, yeah. I'm from the UK, this school has the best psychology course I could find. Thank fuck I got accepted. What are you taking?"

She seemed so genuine, she talked to me like we were old friends. Or at least I think that's how it would feel. I've never really had friends.

"Photography and Graphic Design" I managed to push out. _What the fuck is wrong with me? _

"Interesting, not music then?" She pointed to my guitar and I shrugged.

"I'm nowhere near good enough to think about music as a career choice"

"I bet that's a load of bollocks" she said.

I let out a small chuckle "You talk funny"

"No, YOU talk funny" she said, articulating the word YOU while matching my laugh.

"Well, you are in MY country, that makes you odd man out" I said with a grin that she then discribed as 'cheeky'.

I knew it was bothering her, my face. No! I'm not Freddie Kruger! I had a dark purple bruise on my face from the night before... I mentioned the guy! I could tell it was on her mind, and she wanted to ask about it. Every now and then I could see her eyes flick down to it, and she'd go to say something, but I guess she thought better.

A few moments later we could hear some people calling for Emily down the hallway. She quickly took a few steps back and out the door into the hallway and motioned whoever they were into the room. There was an older man, pretty muscular but older. He had dark grey hair that was a little damp from sweat, and a few day old stubble on his face. He wore a tshirt that was clearly too small for him, but I guess he wanted to show his old man muscles or something. He had a few boxes in his grasp and dropped them down on the other bed as soon as he walked in.

"Okay! Katie's got a few more boxes, and thats pretty much it girl. Fitch hug!"

He raised his arms up and she fell into his embrace, calling him a... wanker? I think? but she smiled into it none the less. I'd concluded he was her dad because, it just seemed more likely than a boyfriend or sibling. Within a matter of seconds a girl came in with as much subtlety as a freight train and yelled:

"Whoa bitch! this place is huge! had to lug these boxes up the stairs by myself I did! it ain't my stuff babes, you shoulda helped me!"

_Well, this was interesting_. They looked like twins, but they where definatly nothing alike. Emily was quiet, but funny. And soft. This version of Emily was, well, not _slutty_ per se, but more... attention seeking? she was loud and had a potty mouth, and if her...boldness... didn't get anyones attention, her clothes and demeaner sure would.

"Oh shit! Sorry! I didn't know your flat mate was here. It's early innit? Sorry, I'm Katie, this is our dad Rob" she said, gesturing to him "and if my sister has been a right twat by not telling you her name, its Emily"

Wow. I liked her already. Mostly because I knew she didn't care enough to want anything from me or to actually see me. She was safe, and I liked that.

"Uuhhh, ya, no she did, I'm September"

"September? that's a... well I love it! ain't no name like that in the UK. Nice to meet you!"

_As best a reaction as I could get I guess._

"Love, what happened to your face? If it's your boy then I could teach him a right lesson. It ain't manly to hit a wo-"

He was cut short by Emily shouting "Dad!" and hitting his arm to shut him up.

It was quite amusing actually, I hadn't thought that anyone would think I get abused by a boyfriend. The true story was a lot less compelling and a lot more, well, my own fault.

"No, no" I chuckled "it's fine. I don't get abused, and I don't have a boyfriend. I was walking around lastnight and some random guy thought he could steal my guitar".

Emily looked horrified.

"It's fine really, my guitar is there" I pointed to it like she did earlier "And you should see the other guy" I shrugged. Bad joke.

"There were Two?!"

_Wow Katie, not bright? well I guess what I said could have been interpreted that way..._

"No I mean, it's a joke. Like ... well okay. What I meant is that I'm fine and he's worse" I explained.

Rob looked at me and smiled "There's a girl who's got balls! I could tell you've got muscles but skills to boot! a girl after my own heart! I feel a lot safer with you around Emily"

I looked over at Emily, and must've looked confused because she said cautiously "My dad is obsessed with fitness "

"And girls that punch" Katie said simply.

**Phew! okay, done. I'm so bloody nervous about this. I hate when people don't update for a while, so I'm gonna do my best to update regularly. Fingers crossed you enjoy! **

**Violet**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hellllloooo again! First of all, thank you to MissMaraBored for your kind words and for being not only the first to review, but to favourite and follow as well! Also, to the few people who have started to follow my story, thank you so much! I want to start off with a little explanation on my character September. I'm doing my best to introduce you to her, I'm honestly finding it difficult since I don't have the ability to make you fall in love with her throughout 2 seasons of awesome Skins episodes. I've decided I'm not going to properly describe her, because as we all know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I will however drop subtle ideas so you can imagine her however you want. **

**Alright, on with the story! Hope you enjoy!**

**Oh, and Naomi will be dropping by soon enough, so stay tuned!**

Emily POV

The day I met September, was one of the most bizarre days of my life.

It was far from a bad day, but it was just... bizarre. I don't know how else to describe it. Here I am, peeking my head into a room with '313' written on it and I see a girl who is staring off into space like she's smoked too much spliff, but seems to be aware enough to be trying to blend herself into the wallpaper. It was strange. So me, being the humongous dork that I am, I knock and ask her if this is room 313, even though the way I'm leaning in the doorway, my hand is resting on the room number sign. So it comes as no surprise that I just encroached on her alone... spaced out... whatever time, because she just looks at me. But it's in the way she does it, almost like someone would look at you if they haven't seen you in years. It was strange. She reminded me of the people I once knew, her eyes reminded me of Effy's, but in a warmer way. They were a sparkling grey, but when she'd turn her head just right so that a little sunlight hit them, you could see the dark blue ring around them. For the second time in my life I found myself drowning in breathtakingly beautiful eyes. Her body language was more relaxed than... _hers_... but you could tell she had walls too. But she was different about it. She didn't embrace them, she actually hated them. You see, when someone doesn't want to be seen,_ liiiike... some bottle blonde I could mention_, you see the walls first and trust me when I say, they're made of bloody concrete. But Sept's, her walls were more like a draw bridge. I don't even think she knew she was doing it. It was as if she was testing me first before drawing the bridge up. It was always half way up so I couldn't get in, but it was enough to be welcoming. She also reminded me of Freddie as well. He was always so caring and took on every bad thing in the world as if it was his fault, or his job to fix it. Or at least that's how he was with Effy. I think if he stopped smoking so much spliff he could have been Effy's roomate in the Nuthouse. Then I saw her face. She had a huge black bruise on her right cheek. I couldn't stop looking at it.

_What the fuck Emily? Stop staring you twat!_

I think she noticed me looking, but she didn't say anything. Oh no, leave it to dad to poke that huge elephant in the room with a pin needle. Her answer was far different than I had thought, of course the story of a half bruised face on a girl so... captivating... isn't going to be a good one, but I had expected... something else. The darkness of that bruise would suggest even the toughest of men would've at least been dazed, but a girl? Of her size? It should've knocked her out; or put her in the hospital. I cringed at the thought of the story behind her strength, but just as my mind was about to wander I hear her chuckle. And not in a derogatory way, in an amused way, like she was surprised that people even had the decency to ask her a question about it. Her smile was genuine, like she had to reassure**_us_**!

Like I said, fucking bizarre.

When my sister made her grand entrance, September didn't seem fazed at all. Not like she had seen it before and didn't care, but as if it didn't matter to her what kind of show Katie put on for her. I saw it then, that flash behind the eyes. Like she's just read Katie's auto biography and decided on her fate or something. _Just like fucking Effy, _I thought. But as soon as it happened, it was done. And from here, it looked like September actually, liked her. Now don't get me wrong, I love my sister, but for people with actual... substance... Katie doesn't usually win their heart. But in this case, September was a fan, _of Katie, _not the other stuff Katie acts out.

Bi-fucking-zarre.

'

'

So dad and Katie started helping me unpack a little, and September left for some reason during this. Katie said it was to get out of turning us down if we asked her to help, _god Katie, you are so bloody lazy_, but I think it was to give us some time alone as a family. Little did I know we were both wrong.

"Hey guys, I know you're not from around here so I thought I'd bring a little New York love to you". She said, as she held up two big brown bags while walking back into the room.

"Here, we have all the fixings from Spinelli's Bakery, including bagel breakfast sandwiches, hash browns, scrambled eggs with green peppers, and some black cherry cheesecake for a morning treat"

_Well fuck me sideways, I think I'm in love._

"Bloody hell! I can't eat any of that, I'm watching my weight!"

_…KATIE!_

I go to open my mouth to verbally bitch slap my sister when September bursts out laughing.

_What the fuck?_

"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing AT you, but that was hilarious"

Katie huffs at this "Oh yeah, not laughing at me? Well what's so bloody funny then?!"

She calms herself down a little so she can speak "I'm sorry. I just knew you'd be like that... health conscious I mean! That's why I got you this"

She pulls out a smaller brown bag from the bigger one and gives it to Katie. Katie opens it up cautiously and sniffs the bag _wow Katie, just open it! _She finally decides to open it and looks inside, then practically breaks the glass window of our dorm with a squeal that can only be described as more horrifying than if a hungry bear walked in with rabies.

"Oh my fuck, you did NOT!"

_What is she on about?_

Then, it happens. It was like slow motion, I was watching it happen and I don't know if it was the shock or the utter disbelief that something like that could actually come from Katie. Katie walks over to September and fucking _hugs her. _September has just tamed my sister, and now I think Katie's the one in love. I look over at dad and he's got this grin on his face like the Cheshire cat, and when he looks over to me and he smiles wider, I know that I have the exact same smile on my face. So he simply reaches over, wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head as I move myself more comfortably into his embrace. From that moment on, the me I thought I'd lost long ago started fade back into me. _I miss that Emily. _

"It's good to see you happy again my darling girl"

"Yeah, me too dad"

**Okie Dokie, that's Chapter 2 down! I hope you're all still enjoying this so far, I thought some insight on Emily's POV would help you understand a little more about September. Do let me know what you guys think! **

**Violet **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there! Again! First off, thank you again for checking my little story out, for following it and such, and thanks to StarlaMay for being the second person to review! So this chapter takes place about a year or so after the last chapters, mostly because that was the day they first met and well, if I write about them day by day, I'd have a million chapters. So, here we are! Oh, and in case it's not clear, these two didn't start romantically right away. You'll notice as time goes on that they both had to help the other rebuild themselves before this could happen. Aahhh, what insight adulthood brings. **

**Anyway, on with the story and thank you for reading!**

_Undetermined amount of lapsed time…_

"Well? Are you coming?"

"You still haven't told me where you're taking me"

"That's for me to know and you to figure out"

"I don't trust you"

"Eh. Neither do I"

"You make NO sense, do you know that?"

"It's aaaaall part of the mystery"

It went on like this for a couple minutes, our banter. After a while I thought she was stalling because she really didn't trust me, or really didn't want to go. But eventually, she caved.

"Fucking hell. Fine! Let's go then! Shall I call a taxi or have you done that already too?"

She's referring to me making plans for us without letting her know she had plans until the last minute. Oops.

"Stop being a bugger! Just 'cause you're adorable when you pretend to be peeved doesn't mean you're going to get your way Miss Fitch"

'

'

_Yesterday_

The truth, she really is fucking adorable. To me. ALL. THE. TIME. It's been like this since the day we met. And it's funny too because just the other day some old lady heard our playful banter and told us we were the 'most adorable couple she's ever seen'. I didn't think there could have been a brighter color of crimson on Emily's face without it leaving her with a permanent tan. So when she turned to look at me after this crazy lady's sudden 'observation', all I could think of to do was smile. As soon as I got confirmation from her in the form of another blush and a nervous smile in return, that's when I did it. At first, I didn't even know I was doing it. But after a few seconds I realized what I'd done and it was my turn to perma-tan my face. I had leaned over to her and kissed her temple. I must've meant to do it, but it still left me shaky and nervous, like I had just asked a girl to prom in front of her boyfriend.

"What was that for?"

_Shrug and become entranced with your converse. Do it!_

"Hey? It's okay you know"

_What's okay? ...Don't ask me, ask her you dummy!_

"What's okay?"

"That you kissed me"

"...Oh"

"I hope you do it again one day"

_Wait, what? NO NOT TO ME! SPEAK! TO HER! _

"You want me to kiss you again?"

Nod.

"Why?"

"Because I like you"

"You do?"

"Wow, you ask a lot of questions"

"Only when I'm having trouble understanding"

"Cheeky!"

"I'm being serious! My professor has literally almost thrown me out of class FOUR times this week because I ask so many questions! I think he's even started to ignore me ON PURPOSE" I let out a small gasp for effect.

"Ugh! Fine. I like you okay? You make me laugh profusely, you brought me and my family - who by the way you'd never met before - THE most amazing breakfast before you even knew our last name, you somehow managed to get my sister - the ice queen - to hug you, in that same day! And I turn into a 16 year old fan girl when I'm around you. Oh, and EVERY time I Skype with my family, my dad and sister INSIST on talking to you. That has NEVER happened. Especially when Katie practically bounces in her chair waiting for you to talk to her"

"...oh"

"Really? That's it? God you are s-"

The only thing I could do in that moment was press my lips onto hers. She was going on and on, and she gave me permission, so why not? Well for starters, I was far from prepared for the fireworks that exploded in not only my body; but also my brain. Her lips were so soft, that I nearly crumbled to the ground. It would've happened too, if it wasn't for the fact that she had finally caught on to what was happening, and held me in place by wrapping her arms around my shoulders and folding her hands along the back of my neck. I swear, she saved my life by doing that. God knows what gooey New York filth I could've collapsed into causing me an early death. I pulled away to see if what I'd done was okay, but when I was able to focus my vision on her face, I saw her eyes still closed. It was as if she was in a daze, and if we were in a cartoon I'm sure there would have been stars popping out from behind her head and birds chirping millimeters from her face. When she came back down to earth, she just simply opened her eyes, looked into mine, and smiled. I smirked back, because let's face it. I just dazed the shit out of the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. So it came as no surprise that the next thing on my mind was: _I'll show her tomorrow. _

_'_

_'_

_Present Day_

"No, we're going to take the Subway. It's not far, I promise. You'll love it!"

So. Here's the plan. I've been hired to be the opening act for a new up-and-coming band that's playing in Central Park later on today. I was already there earlier doing my sound check and setting up my equipment so that I could spend the day with Emily at the festival before having to go on stage and do my set. I know, some of you are wondering how all of the sudden I went from wandering around like a transient at night, unable to play an expensive new guitar I had bought, to playing a live set in front of hundreds of strangers. Well the answer is simple, Emily Fitch. We have been roommates for well over a year, almost going on two now, and little by little she has been able to make me whole again. She helped me heal, she helped me rediscover my passions and goals, and most importantly, she got me to play music. And not just in general, she somehow managed to get me to play _FOR her. _She has magic powers. Anyway, so I'm going to take her to the festival, buy us a bag of fresh doughnuts, and walk around checking out some of the booths. You see, this isn't just _any_ festival. It's put on by the Child Protection organizations focused on troubled youth. They bring around hundreds of teens in foster care and plunk 'em down for the day, in the middle of the giant park, with a bunch of fun things to do. I used to help run these once upon a time. There is going to be a booth there set up by one of my old friends with information about the various positions that Children's Services need filled, and the kind of things the jobs include. Emily has told me that she got into Psychology because she wants to help kids, so I thought this would be a cool thing to bring her to.

"You know, the movies make New York subways look glamorous, but they're really no different than the ones back in London. The only difference is the words used in the graffiti" She points to one with the words 'Go fuck yourself George Bush' and explains that in London she saw something similar, but instead said 'George Bush wanks to gay porn'.

"Well, sometimes people around here think that Brit's are more sophisticated because of their accents, but in reality they are just funnier than Americans".

"...What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I think British humor is funnier" I say simply.

"Huh. You learn something new every day"

She winks at me and smiles, and a few moments after that we've found the cleanest seats we could find and sit down. Then, she takes my hand in hers and places it on her lap. It's the simplest of gestures but she has no idea that it makes my heart jump into a million different directions at once. Once we arrive at our stop, I stand up and she does the same. She doesn't let go of my hand though, and the heat permeating from my hands would be enough to melt the polar ice caps. "Come on" I say, "It's just up the street". We can already hear the bustling of the people and the music blasting through some of the loudspeakers set up around the festival. She's got her arm in mine now, and we're walking in unison like we've been doing this for years. _Maybe we always have._ When we finally arrive, she looks around in both confusion and excitement. After explaining it to her (and carefully leaving out the part of my performance later) she looks at me and says:

"What do you mean you used to help run these?" _Ah shit. I let that slip during my explanation. _

"Look, I shouldn't have said that, it's not the point. I brought yo-"

"I know, and I thank you for that. This really is amazing, and I'm so happy I'm getting to spend the day with you here. But I just don't understand what you meant. Besides, you don't really talk much about..."

"Hey, I'm going to tell you okay? Just give me time. This is my first step. If you think about it, and really look around, you'll be able to see more than what I could ever be able to explain to you with words anyways. Is, that enough for you? For now?"

"...Yeah. For now"

She smiles then and gives me a quick kiss on the lips, and believe me when I say that if she did that to me every second of every day, I'd still say that being with her for 1000 years would be way too short a life span.

**Okay! that's chapter, 3 now? I'm really on a roll now! Though I should probably start sleeping soon, for some reason now I dream in writing? Anyways! Thanks everyone for being open minded about September, and for some of you *ahem, StarlaMay* actually being curious about her and her... mysterious past. All will be revealed soon enough, don't you fret! And stay tuned for some Naomi soon as well! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Heylo again. So I've caught the writing bug and can't seem to stop, so I'm going to update as soon as I finish a chapter because right now, I've got nothing but time on my hands. And for those of you reading and enjoying, I know from experience that when you are enjoying a story and the author updates like a mad woman, it's like Christmas morning! So this is for those of you reading my story, because every one of you who reads my little slice of creativity, means a lot to me. Millions of us from around this giant world are brought together on this website to just read, to submerge ourselves in fantasy. And I still can't believe something that I'm writing can interest people from such different places across the globe... Anyway! Wow! I'm rambling! **

**Allow me to introduce to you Chapter 4, featuring our two favourite blue eyed heartbreakers. **

**Enjoy guys**

"Naomi! Wake the fuck up! I can't find my trench and I have work in less tha... _Oh bollocky wank shiite_ - 15 MINUTES!"

_What the fuck Eff. Can't be pleasant for 30 seconds in the morning can you. _

"Naio-"

"I'm coming! Keep your vagina on!"

I fumble out into the hallway to find a crazed looking Effy staring back at me. "Well? Do you know where it is?"

"Eff. Which coat are yo-"

"The one with the big bloody hood on it! Can't you see it's raining out?"

"Eff, which pills are you on? I think this is the most I've ever heard you talk in my life. And not to mention your getting easily agitated. By the way your face looks like if it getts any redder, it's going to pop off" _Well, that sure did it. _

"Naomi, if you don't tell me where my coat is right now, I'm going to pop YOUR head off"

I do this to Effy now and again. The doctors said it was actually a good idea, because with the coctail of pills she has to take everyday and Effy being, well... Effy, I have to make sure she takes all of her pills. You see, I can tell if she skips her meds, and which specific ones at that. If she's skipped a certain one, a few different scenarios take place. If I hide something, she will either just look for it and not ask for help - Closed off Effy in need of pill #1 - or she will yell at me - talkative Effy, pill #1 taken. Next, if I mention her pills and she just stares at me - In need of pill #3. If she calms herself and threatens me - pill #3 consumed. And last but not least, if I give her what she was looking for and she looks at it for a bit, as if trying to remeber if that's what she asked for - Effy in need of pill #2. If she takes it from me, even though it annoys her, she'll always thank me for caring - pill coctail consumed. Sometimes though, she catches on to her reactions and tries to cover them up, which is why I've started doing it in the mornings before she goes to work. Because of the pills, it's hard for her to be able to multi-task the art of manipulation in her brain, so she can't fool me in the mornings. So, I've taken to setting my alarm before hers, and deciding what I can hide from her today.

"Here, right under your nose the whole time" I reach down and pull out her jacket from under the throw rug on the floor where we've been standing.

"You're getting creative now Campbell"

"Practice makes perfect babe. Now hurry up! You work for a living, go on"

She smirks at me and pats my arm, her own way of saying thank you. You see, Effy shows more now. Well, to me anyway. And she talks more, she kind of has to. She works for a big corperate firm and has to give presentations. Mind you they always seem to be short, but she's quite good at her job.

As soon as she's out the door, it's time for _my _daily routine. I attend school for a few different things: History, Mythology, Politics, etc,. I couldn't decide what to take, and the courses I took last year drove me nuts. So this term I changed them to completly different subjects, even though Effy thinks I should take journalism. I don't get it, why would I possibly want to write for a boring old newspaper? I think I'd go mad sitting in an office all day on a computer. But Effy says that I could get a job where I travel to all different parts of the world and use my skills to maybe get a little village in Africa a chalkboard, or something. The truth is, and she's told me this; I'm rotting in England. I followed Effy to London because I can take care of her, and she needs it. She still struggles with it a bit, but we've got a mutual respect for eachother. But she knows I'm rotting, and it bothers her. To be completely honest, even though I love Effy and want to keep her safe, I'm also selfish in my reasons for following her around. I'm struggling with where my life ended up, and where _we _ended up. I've talked to Effy about it so many times I can't even think straight. But she's always there for me, holding me while I cry and telling me that 'everything happens for a reason'. _Fuck Effy. Always the cryptic eh?_

Last night was one of those nights. I replay the last time I saw her in my head over and over again, beating myself up mentally every moment of every day for being such a dick to the only person in the world I've ever loved. But I think, sometimes, that I wanted this. At some point, I lost respect for her. Yeah, we were young, but that never stopped me from feeling it. At some point, I fell out of love with Emily.

After my confession in Freddie's shed, we were inseperable. We went back to my house and made love all night until the sun came up. We really were happy for a while, that much I know. But then, when my mom came back from her shag-cation, something happend. She told me that he cheated on her and she left him there and came home. Of course, she brought his passport back with her to get back at him. My mom telling me about this, and saying that she completly cut all contact with him, that she was going to move on and live her life, that's when I realized that I actually respected my mom for her decision. Whatever his reason or excuse was for cheating, to me, my mom was the strongest person I've ever met for telling him to shove it. I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming my mom for my monsterous behavior, but she definatly was the catalyst in the chain of events that ruined Emily for me.

'

'

_A few days after the shed confession..._

I remember that day, when my mom cam home, Emily was still sleeping. I told my mom she was here because it was after all, her house. She just smiled and talked to me about how beautiful the beaches were, and how the stars seemed to dance in the skies at night. And then I heard Emily quietly padding down the stairs. She was surprised to see Gina, and tried to fix her messy hair with one hand while pulling down on her big t-shirt with her other hand. My mom gave her a warm greeting and told us to sit down while she made tea. Then, my mom sat down, and told us all about what happened between the two of them. She told us about how he cheated, and what she did about it. How it made her feel, and how even though it was hard, she kicked him to the curb because she respected herself too much to allow them to work out. I remember looking over at Emily, and for the first time since I was 12, I didn't see her the way I always have. What I saw when I looked at her wasn't _my Emily_ anymore, it was someone that I felt uneasy around. You know that feeling, when your with a friend or a lover and they do something you just can't approve of, but you're not in that place yet where you can be honest with them about how you feel regarding their behavior? Well that's the best way I can describe it. I think when Emily looked over at me and saw the way I was looking at her, she knew it too. She could see that I respected my mother so highly in that moment, that every time I looked at Emily, I just saw weakness. And the more weakness I saw, the less attraction and love I felt for her. It was the beginning of the end for us, and I think I wore Emily down so much with all the bullshit I pulled, that she just lost her fight. She lost the will to care, and she just gave up, just like I did. We just stopped talking, calling, texting, everything. She gave it one last go though, and told me that she had gotten accepted to some University in New York, and asked if she could come over. So I agreed, and when she arrived, I opened the door to someone that I really didn't want to spend time with anymore._ I know, stupid right? Like I said, I'm a dick._

"So..."

"...So"

"Any thoughts?"

"Nope. If you've applied there, that means you want to go. I don't see what I could poss-"

"Just tell me we have a chance, and I'll stay here, with you"

"What does that matter?"

"Because I just don't get it anymore. I love you Naomi, with all my heart. But I don't understand what happened. One minute you're confessing that you've loved me since you were 12 and then the next you don't even look at me the same. I thought this was what you wanted. I thought _I _was what you wanted"

"I thought so too. But after my mom told me about-"

"So? That's between them, that's not us Naomi"

"No, it's not"

"What does that mean?" She said this so softly that it wasn't so much a question, it was as if those four little words she said... I could swear I just heard her insides break apart.

"It means I can't figure my twat self out. I feel like it is us, I cheated but you wern't as strong... you forgave me and I see that as weakness. I don't know... I ... I can't stop the way I feel and I just wanna squash my brains into the wall. I'm fucked up Emily. And I know how you feel about that school in New York. I know what you want and I know what you deserve, and a girlfriend who can't even look at you without critisizing everything you do is _not _what you deserve. So please, go to New York. Because you deserve all the beautiful things in this world and I can't give any of that to you. Not right now."

I'm crying now, because I know she doesn't want to let me go. But I want her to, because somehow it feels like I've already let her go. So she just looks at me one last time, with tears running down her face and says:

"I can never do right by you, can I?"

I'm dubstruck. I don't know what to say to her, and so I just stand there, infront of a completely broken Emily Fitch, and I'm as mute as a mule. She takes my silence in, and nods to herself before walking out of my life forever. We don't call, we don't text. We don't write and we just go about our lives.

'

'

It's not until about a year later when it finally hits me that after she left, I've made a complete mess of my life. I follow Effy around like a lost dog, and all my days ever consist of are classes, coursework, and thinking up new ways to keep Effy 'on the wagon'. I don't go out, I don't have any friends, I just go to class, and go home. I don't even date, I don't even go to the library to read anymore, I read books online. I avoid any kind of human interaction possible and I didn't even know I was doing it! Effy caught on, even during all her rough patches and episodes, she would tell me that I was just as broken as she was and it made the voices in her head sad. Through all that, she was able to see it, and she can be a right mess.

_So what does that make me?_

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it was actually my favourite to write so far. Probably because I was getting bored of all the sappy lovey-dovey stuff in the last few chapters. I'm sure some of you who relate to Naomi are cursing me for making the break-up her fault, but believe me when I say that I relate to her as well and this was the most realistic thing I could think of that would have happened between the two of them. Like the story says, Love isn't always easy, and sometimes it stops being about love all together. **

**See you soon! Oh and if you feel up to it, let me know what your thinking about this so far, how you feel, or if you have some suggestions? questions? anything? I'm open minded :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Listen, I have A LOT of free time. I share a few things in common with September, but the most important one; insomnia. It's just after 3am my time and I can't sleep. I thought after my killer chapter 4 was belt out that I was done for the day... night... whatever. But here, while we're young, is chapter 5. It's short, because it just seemed like it should be. I'm starting to try and expand on the story more, and by the amount of awesome feedback I got from chapter 4, I'm going to do my best to write more chapters like that as well. Thank you to my avid reviewers StarlaMay and MissMaraBored, your kind feedback is appreciated and I'm so glad your loving it so far.**

**Here we go, everyone hold onto your butts! **

So our fun day at the festival didn't go exactly as planned.

It turns out that trying to be romantic has disasterous results for me. Allow me to elaborate. A month ago I updated Emily's IPod. She always complained about being electronically challenged and seeing as I work on computer systems all day anyway, I've grown into quite the expert in Technology. So I got her to make me a list of songs she needed to be added to her IPod, and I was surprised to see that she included some songs from my ITunes playlist. So as I was updating, I noticed a huge surge in the amount of times a certain song was played compared to the others. So, for some reason, I had concluded that this meant I had stumbled across her favourite song. _Please tell me that's logical, right?_ Anyway. So I listened to it, and was able to write some sheet music to it. After I mastered that I was able to complete a cover version of the song. So me being my brilliant self, I decided that this was the song I was going to preform that day at the park. I actually thought it would work too, because I was able to pack the chorus full of energy to balance out the soft versus of the song. You know, keep the angsty teens interested. _Trust me when I say it sounded like a better idea in my head. _

After a few hours of laughing and stuffing our faces with some of the best food truck poutine this side of the empire state building, I finally told her my surprise.

"So, I haven't been completly honest with you"

"...Oh?"

I nodded sheepishly "Yeah. I told you that we were going to hang out and stuff... which clearly we have, but it's not all in good fun. I actually need something from you"

To my suprise she didn't stiffen at my confession, she just smiled and nodded for me to continue.

"I uh, well. I need you to be my ears"

"Come again?"

"You see that poster there?" I pointed to the big green poster with the band name and photo of the group I was going to be opening act for. "Well, the drummer is my prof's son. He heard me playing for you a while back... you know that day at the track on the bleachers? Anyway, he heard me play and asked me if I would be interested in playing live..."

"...Okay, and what did you say?"

"I said I'd try it"

"...So, what does that mean exactly"

"Well, it means that I was asked to be the opening act for the show tonight and I accepted"

What came next was the cutest thing, EVER.

"Oh my fucki- Seriously?! That's fantastic!"

She lept into my arms, and in that moment my new favourite thing about her was how tiny she was, she wrapped herself around me and I held onto her like if I let go she'd slip away forever.

"So you'll do it then? be my eyes and ears?"

"Of fucking course" She smiled at me and I think if it got any wider she would've snapped her face in two. So she gave me a good luck kiss before I had to go on stage and if it wasn't for the fact that when she kisses me it feels like I'm on a 1000km/hr rocket ride to the moon, the 50 or so teenagers 'hooting' and 'awwing' at our quick little display might have almost been enough to make me break that kiss. _Almost. _

'

;

So you can imagine my shock that when I started to strum the notes on my guitar and sang the lyrics of the song I thought was her favourite, her eyes started to well up and her face dropped completly. I had to continue strumming and singing, even though I had absolutely NO idea why she was so upset. I was hoping that they were tears of joy, but the truth was far less heart warming.

The hum of the last chords plucked were still playing through the guitar amp and the kids around seemed to really enjoy it. The crowd all sang along in unison, some even held up lighters or lit up their cellphone screens. And when the heavieness of the chorus kicked in they all started to sing and dance along. Normally, this would have been the best reaction a self-conscious musician could have wished for, but this wasn't one of those normal times. When the hum had finally stopped and I thanked the kids for being so kind, I made my way off stage to a clearly upset Emily.

"Hey, are yo-"

"That was amazing, they loved you"

_Why is she acting like this?_

"Uhm, yeah, right. What did YOU think of it?"

"Brilliant, of course" She said, trying to pull a smile on her face. But it wasn't working. I really don't like this feeling.

"Em, I saw you. I see you now, what's wrong? Did I do something wr-"

"You did absolutely NOTHING wrong" She practically spat at me.

"Then why have you been crying?"

_I was far from being prepared for this reaction._

She just looked at me, and pulled her lips into her mouth trying to stop her lip from quivering, but it was no use as a few stray tears escaped her watery brown eyes.

"It's just, such a fucking coincidence"

"What is?"

"That you preformed _that _song. There are a million songs in this world, including ones you've written yourself! And believe me, those songs are a lot better. So why on earth did you pick that one?"

"Emily I ... I don't... Look, I can explain this. That day I updated your music, the songs... the Ipod keeps a log of how many times certain songs are played. And that one was played a lot more than any other song on there. I'm really sorry, I just thought it was your favorite"

She looked up at me and started to soften a bit at my explanation "So you learned to do a cover version of it, and play it here... for me... because you thought it was my favorite?"

I nodded. I didn't know what else to do, this made absolutely no sense.

"That was... incredibly sweet of you"

"Hun? Your reaction tells me that I've fucked this whole thing up, and your way of explaining it isn't working well..."

"It was a song that I used to associate heavily with my ex"

_Well, wasn't this just peachy._

**Yay? Nay? I dunno. I'm too tired from being tired right now. I hope this keeps you guys satisfied for now while I try and get you another good chapter. I think I'm going to slow down my personal updates soon until I hear some feedback from you guys, and what you want to see from this story. Don't worry, that's not official! I just thought I'd put the idea out there. What do you think? I love hearing what you guys have to say. Let me know, and as always, thanks for reading!**

**Violet **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi! I have a little surprise for you... It's Katie Fucking Fitch Bitches! Wow, can you tell I'm excited ha ha. This is me, trying to write from many POV'S, Katie is so fun to write in. She can be so... SASSY! Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. It is a bit of a build up so... Yeah! And as always, thank you for reading and reviewing, all that :)**

**Oh! one last thing. Anyone have any suggestions as to what that song September played for Emily could be? Let me know what you think! **

**Chapter 6**

Katie POV

Hey K, I need your help. September played a show today, and she was really great, but she played... You know that song me and Nai... Anyway. I burst into tears and I made a right mess of things. What should I do? - E

_What the hell?_

I was in the middle of typing up some wedding vows for this wanker when my phone buzzed. Mom told me that he works a lot and didn't have time to do it. So naturally, my mother assured him that we would be happy to help, _Ugh, _since we were organizing the wedding. You'd be suprised how many guys ask us to do this for them actually. So here I am, staring at that little line on the screen click, clicking away when I was brought out of my daydream of bursting in during the guys speech and saying "Hey babes, you like what you hear? Good 'cause I wrote it!" by the sound of my phone going off. It was a text from Ems, which is wierd because she had told me earlier that she was being taken out for a day on the town with September, and of course Em being so bloody excited she had to text me about it; but also warn me not to intrude with calls or anything.

_Don't tell me, you ate too many hotdogs or something and you ruined your 'romantic' moment by puking 'em all up. Lezzer._

Now, don't get me wrong, I love September. _Ew! Not THAT way!_ Okay, so maybe I had a little girl crush on her at the beginning... That didn't mean I wanted to munch her muff! Anyways, I love her. But I just don't understand the whole lezza thing. Her and Em could get any bloke they wanted... Well. If I'm being honest with myself here, I think Em did pretty good. September treats her like bloody royalty and most of that was even before they started dating. She has been really good for Ems. I haven't seen this side of my sister in a really long time, and I have September to thank for that. Believe it or not, I kind of think that she is the reason that Emily and I have such a close relationship now. Yes, we are continents apart and that does help, but Emily is just so much more... Ugh I don't know how to describe it.

"What the fuck Ems!"

"I know I know, I couldn't help it! What is wrong with me... What do I do?"

"Ems, just talk to her okay? She's gonna, like, forgive you yeah? She just needs an explanation. And be HONEST! Lezza's can sense when you ain't bein' honest. It must be their superpower..."

"Katie! God enough of the lesbian jokes okay? Not right now"

"Okay okay, I'm sorry. It'll be fine though okay? Go talk to her. And I'm here if you need any help"

"Thanks K" And with that, the line went dead.

My sister has had a rough few years. Mostly because of that muff buffer Naomi. She hurt my sister so many times, and I kick myself everyday because I let it happen. I stood back and watched that day when Naomi 'confessed her love' to my sister and I did nothing. It's my job to protect Emily and I just fucking stood there. I don't know what Emily ever saw in her. Yes she was beautiful, but that's about it. Have you ever been attracted to someone, but when you pluck up enough courage to talk to that person and they open their mouths to reveal a unattractive, bitch of a personality? Well that was Naomi. To me. I know I've seen a different side of her a few times, like when I tricked her at the coffee shop pretending to be Ems, or that time at the shed, but I could never have the patience to wait for that person to come out in terms of a relationship. It would just be too exhausting. But then again, that's just me. Whenever Ems and I used to get into fights, she would tell me that I was just like Naomi, but she was wrong. I thought about it a lot, mostly because I hated being compared to her, but I realized that Em actually was wrong. Naomi acts like a bitch because she is. It's just her personality. Like, she was raised by wort hogs and grew up without learning about manners. Me on the other hand, I was a bitch because it was what all the popular girls acted like. I thought it would get me noticed, which it did. I did it for attention, Naomi didn't. And now, I'm a bit more grown up and have turned that into a sassy attitude because, well, that's just who I seem to be. And let's face it, sass is hot!

After Em hung up I tried to type out this guy's vows again, making sure all that lovey dovey shite was included in there. I've met the guy, and let me just tell you. If I was that girl, I would KNOW that he didn't write this. But love is blind I guess.

"Katie darling, how is the writing coming?"

"Like thundershit, mom. Why do you always insist on giving these wanks help with their bloody vows?"

"Katie, don't speak like that. It's not lady like. And anyways, sometimes these blokes just need help expressing themselves on paper dear. Not everyone is as articulate as you"

"And Emily" I stated bluntly.

"...Yes of course dear. Now finish up, chop chop. I need you to help me with the Lillies soon"

Never fails. Everytime I mention Emily mom just tenses up. She hasn't even talked to Emily since she left, do you believe that?! Ems was right, mom just treats me nice because I like guys. Sometimes I wish I could like a girl just to see what mom would do. She can be a heartless cow sometimes.

Click, click, click. _Fucks sake, I can't think right now. _

"Ma! I'm going out to get some caffine, I'll be back in a few shakes!"

I didn't wait for her reply and just left. I couldn't think of what to write and I needed to clear my head. So I grabbed my coat, flung it over my shoulders and pushed out the doors of our little 'Get Fitched!' Shop. I walked down the street, taking in the scent of the fresh rain and hearing my shoes squash underneath me through the puddles on the street. I turned down another street a few minutes later and arrived at the quiet little coffee shop on the corner. I had discovered it one night after working late at the shop. Mom and dad were arguing, about James this time. My mom was so scared that his wearing dresses was turning him into 'one of those gays', and my dad was adiment it was just a phase having nothing to do with his sexuality. Well, dad then made the mistake of telling mom that even if James was gay, it wouldn't matter. Well that set mom right off. She accused him of bad parenting, that if James was gay it was his fault because dad wasn't manly enough to be a role model, all that. I'd had enough when she accused dad of making Emily gay, that she would be straight if dad just took her side. I didn't want to stick around for that show. And I bit down on my toungue so hard when she said that, I just had to leave before I started like, spitting out blood. _Now THAT, wouldn't have been very lady like. _

I made my way over to the coffee shop and opened the doors, the strong smell of esspresso filling my nostrils. It was refreshing, and I felt, like, more awake. So I walked up to the counter and placed my order, and took a quick look at the staff _Shit. No hot guys working today. Oh well. _before handing the girl some money for my order. I noticed her watching me while I did my hottie scan, as if she was waiting for my trail of vision to focus on her... When I gave her the money she took it from me without breaking eye contact, and had a little smirk on her face while doing it. _Uh, creeper much? _She placed her hand on mine to take that change and I noticed she grazed her fingers slightly down my wrist before taking the change from me. _What the fuck was that about? _So I gave her a tight lipped smile before making my way to the other counter to wait for my order to be ready. I was standing at the counter trying to figure out why that girls' touch on my wrist gave me Goosebumps when I heard one of the barrista's say:

"Naomi Campbell? Order up!"

_You had better be that shoe throwing super model, bitch._

**Whoo! That was fun! Just to let you know, I love when people include a little Keffy into their stories, so that's where the ending of this chapter came from! I probably won't write Keffy though, because I feel I want to take some chances with Katie and Effy separately. I hope you like this chapter, it was also very fun to write. **

**See you soon! **

**Violet **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hiee! I'm back! but just a warning, I've got a bit of plans coming up so there will be a few days without updates for you guys. Come on! I had to get a life at some point! actually, that's not what it is at all, and I'll be back in full swing next week. So here is chapter 7 for you, I hope it tides you over! And a special shout out to StarlaMay and MissMaraBored in the story, can you spot them? **

**Chapter 7 guys!**

Leave it to me to pick the one day on earth where Katie Fitch and I would be in the same coffee shop, at the same bloody time.

After getting an earful from Effy on her lunchbreak about how I need to get a life, I had decided to ween my way back into the world.

'

'

"Naomi Campbell, you ARE going out with me tonight. I'm not asking you, I'm bloody well TELLING you"

"Eff, just leave it okay? I'm fine"

"No you're not and I'm sick of it. You aren't happy and I'm done being your scapegoat, You can't hide behind 'taking care of me' anymore. So go get a coffee, talk to someone on the bus. Go shag a random for all I care but do what you've got to do because we are going out tonight"

And with that, she was gone. She didn't wait for me to reply, she just hung up. Effy may be more talkative, but she hasn't really pushed me to do anything before. So I decided that I would do what she told me and go out, get myself used to the idea of socialization. Dip a toe in before I jump I guess. Little did I know, that I just jumped head first into a pool full of sharks with an open, bleeding wound.

"Naomi Campbell? Order up!"

_Ugh. I forgot how disheartening it was when people yelled out my name in a shop full of strangers._

"Well well well. If it isn't I-love-buffing-muff Campbell. Long time no see then"

I turned around with so much force that I nearly snapped my neck off.

"K..Ka.. Katie, hi"

"Studdering? That's not like you Campbell. Suprised to see me?"

_You have no idea._

"Uhm, well yes... Yeah. Hi Katie, how have you been?"

"Just fine" She says before eying me up and down. "You look like shit"

_Pot calling the kettle... Oh fuck it. I even feel like shit._

"Yeah... yeah I guess"

The look on Katie's face was one I've never seen before. It was a mix of both smugness and confusion, like she wanted to continue to insult me but she wasn't sure I wouldn't retaliate by slitting my wrists.

"What the fuck is wrong with you these days? Can't even speak, can you?"

I decided to just bite the bullet and be honest. So I was as honest with her as I could be, while keeping my words at a minimum.

"Look Katie, I know why you hate me. But believe me when I say that there is nothing you can say or do to me that could possibly make me hate myself more than I already do. So please, save your breath for something more important"

I thought that was a good speech, I surprised myself with my honesty. But maybe Katie really has seen it all, because she actually has a response to my confession.

"You know what Naomi? If it wasn't for the fact that you brought all this on yourself, I might actually feel sorry for you. But you've never been about others, have you? It's always been about YOU, and what YOU feel"

She's starting to get red faced now.

"But what about everyone else? What about the people who actually cared? Even I started to care about you but that never mattered. Emily aside, I don't think you DESERVE to have love of any form in your life. Because you just can't deal with the fact that you CAN'T control everything"

I open my mouth to say something, but am quickly interrupted.

"Don't even try it. You know it's true. You're inability to control everything leads you to destroy everything you CAN control. You could control Emily and surprise surprise, look what you did with that."

I'm speechless. She's right. There's no disputing her, there's nothing I can do or say that would make any sort of dent in her arguement. I can swear she sees my thoughts, sprawled about the air in handwritten letters for her to read clearly, because she just sighs and shakes her head.

"Get your shit together Campbell. I would say that you deserve to be punished, but your life is punishment enough"

_Truthfully said._

So she takes one last look at me, nods to herself, and leaves. _Just like Emily did._ And it's in that moment, that my brain clicks in gear and I start to see and think clearly. Katie was right. I needed to stop wallowing in self pity and fix this mess I call a life. I must have been standing in the same spot for a while because a middle aged man comes up to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and says softly:

"Are you alright love? Do you need me to call someone for ye?"

_Sounds Irish. Keith's Pub... Cook... Shit I wonder what he's doing now..._

"Lass? Can you hear me darlin'?"

I snap out of my thoughts, turn to him, and give him a small smile and nod before he takes his hand off my shoulder and says gently

"You'll be alright love. When you're my age and look'n back at your life, you realize that youth is just another word for misery. Trust me, you tighten them loose screws sooner or later"

He then turns around and sits back at the table with what looks to be his wife, and when I make eye contact with her she just smiles and turns back to him sipping her cup of tea. So I make a decision, pick up my cellphone and make a call.

"Hel... Kieran, stop it! I'm on the pho- Well of course I haven't said hello yet you wanker! ..._ thump... bump... _*inhale* Hello?"

"Wow... uhm nevermind, I can call ba-"

"Nonsense my darling! I'm just making a cup of tea. How are you sweetheart?"

"I'm okay mum. Actually, I need your help. I want to go now"

"d'you mean?"

"Yeah. I want to see that therapist what's-her-face. Do you still have her number?"

"Of course dear, I'll text her number to you pho-"

"Actually mum, can you call her now and set me up an appointment for tonight? I know it's short notice but I have to get back to class..."

"Okay dear. I'll call as soon as we hang up. Is everything alright?"

"For once, I think everything's going to get better"

I hang up after thanking my mum and go to call Effy, when I realize that her lunch break is over now. So I just text her instead.

_Hey Eff. I'm sorry, I have to cancel tonight. I've got to get my shit together, and getting knackered isn't going to do it. I got my mom to book me an appointment with that therapist. Do you think you could come with me? Before you go out? - N_

I didn't have to wait long for a reply, and it made me smile.

_Nonsense. I don't need to hang out with slags and corporate fuck ups tonight. I'll drive you - Ef_

Effy is a good fucking friend.

;

;

So Effy kept her promise, and drive me to my appointment. We didn't say much to eachother in the car ride here. We really didn't have to. I think we were both excited I actually decided to do something constructive with my time. So we shared a fag during the drive, taking turns blowing smoke out of our lungs like rockstars while listening to some new EP Effy bought at the store for a band called Chvrches. They were actually pretty brilliant.

"Well, here we are"

"Yup."

"You still want to do this"

"Yup."

"Well? Get the fuck out then"

"Love you too Eff."

"Actually talk to her, okay? The sooner I reprise my roll as the head basket-case, the better. Now off you go"

I had to chuckle at her statement. She always did know how to make me smile even in the worst of times.

"I'll call you when I'm done"

"Don't bother. I've still got 3 more songs to listen to on this CD, and I've got a mix with some Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Safetysuit on it to listen to. I'll be here when you get out"

"Thanks Eff"

"Mhmm. Now go fix your broken brain humpty dumpty"

**Alright! What do you think? Cool right? Naomi is going to fix her humpty dumpty head! And the crowd goes wiiiild Woop Woop! lol I hope my buddies spotted their shout outs, btw I listened to the songs you guys suggested, amazing! It's pretty cool to feel the story from others' perspectives, and the songs you guys picked were awesome. Good choices, good bands! Oh, and before I forget. While I was writing this chapter, I still had my TV on a random channel when that Chvrches band came on and did a live set of songs from their EP. It went awesome with what I was writing! Crazy right! Check 'em out if you haven't heard of them, they rock :) This chapter was written while listening to Mother We Share and Recover. **

**TTFN! **

**Violet**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! So an update as promised, but much quicker than anticipated I'll bet! and it's super long too so, that's for all of you lovelies who were patiently waiting for me over the last couple days while I went a little crazy and bought another guitar and 2 pedals... expensive hobby. **

**I just have to say to my friend anon...? is it? who has been reviewing, I just joined this site like a week ago and am still working out how to use it, I ended up stumbling across your reviews somewhere and pressed a random button... somehow they show up under reviews now. But thank you so freakin' much for your kind words, if I could hug you I would 'cause (of course, including the other kind words from all my other reviewers :)) that was the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me :) Fuck it, I'll hug you all!**

**So as always guys, thank you for reading, finding the time to review, and for just being so awesome :) **

**This Chapter is for you!**

Emily POV

"She really fucked up, didn't she?"

"Yeah. She really fucking did" I let out a soft sigh.

"I don't know what to tell you Em. Love isn't always easy"

"You got that right"

"So. Tell me about her"

I squinted my eyes at her in confusion "What? Why?"

"Because, it helps"

I found that one amusing. "How would you know? You talk less than I do"

"How bout we make a deal then"

I looked at her, trying to figure out what she was on about. I finally gave in "...I'm listening"

"I'll tell you about... what happened, and you tell me about her"

_Really? Well, I wasn't expecting to hear that. _"... Really? You'd do that?"

"Mhmm" She replied nonchalantly

_Fine, I'll bite _"...Okay. Deal." And then I thought "But don't we have to get your stuff?"

"Well, the festival is going to be on until about 10pm, and it's only 4pm now. I know a quiet spot just through the clearing a little ways up. We can talk there"

"...Are you going to tell me something that you'll have to kill me for afterwards?"

"I could never kill you Em, Katie would find out and then all my hard work towards a twin-some would be ruined"

I almost choked on my breath as she said this as serious as if she just told me her cat had died or something "Oh my god, you're a PERV!"

"Ha ha, you havn't the slightest idea"

I playfully shoved her shoulder, she can be such a dork sometimes. If she had said that while I was drinking water, it would have been coming out my nose and spat out of my mouth, and she just smiled at me like a kid who got a free sucker at a candy shop. _Fucking... hilarious... dork. _

I guess now is as good a time as any to admit that Naomi was, and probably always will be, a huge part of my life. I had to tell September about her one day, and I do owe her a proper explanation since I ruined the sweetest gesture ever. Truthfully, I havn't really thought about Naomi lately, not since me and September have gotten closer. I've always been attracted to Sept, she is gorgeous of course, but she's also very sweet. But there's always been two things holding me back since we met. 1, she doesn't discuss her life before we met, and 2; I had yet to get over Naomi. I swore to myself that I would never get together with someone while still being hung up on someone else. It's just wrong. I wanted to fully heal before I moved on with someone else, and I thought that my lack of Naomi related thoughts over the last few months meant that I could finally scratch that itch I've had over September. So I guess what I was really so upset about was my reaction to the song she played for me. I wanted to badly for my brain to switch gears and associate the song with this moment instead of faded memories with someone else.

_I guess brains don't work that way._

She reaches for my hand and gives it a little squeeze, as if trying to lighten the mood. I give her a small smile in return and follow her to... wherever it was that we were going to have this really serious discussion; and I was actually shitting bricks. Now, Sept is great and easy going, she doesn't put her own feelings into things that don't warrant it. But I didn't trust myself to not fuck everything up. What if she didn't want to be with me because I had too much baggage? What if she had a kid somewhere? ..._Shut the fuck up brain!_

I was lost in thought when we had finally arrived, and it was beautiful. A small fountain situated in the middle of all this chaos known as New York City, it was kind of surreal. She must have spent a lot of time in this park, because I probably would have never found it on my own.

"It's lovely Sept"

"Yep. A lovely place for a... lovely talk"

She gave me a wink before leading us to the fountain, we took a seat down on the soft, emerald colored grass and leaned our back against the concrete of the fountain; water rushing behind our heads and into our ears. If you listened closely, you could almost hear the bustling city streets in the distance. It seemed so quiet here for being surrounded by millions of people living their lives. it reminded me of that time with Naomi at the lake... _Fuck it. Memories are memories. I'm making new ones now. _

"So," She began "Tell me about her"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before starting. "Well, her name was Naomi. She was beautiful and bitchy, smart and driven. She was a lot like Katie with out all the..." I rolled my hands around in the air as if trying to come up with the right words.

"Eccentricity"

_Well, I guess that works too._

"Yeah, eccentricity. Anyway, I loved her. More than anything. For a very, very long time. Since we were in middle school. One day I plucked up the courage to kiss her, and my sister saw. Katie ruined everything"

"But you guys ended up getting together"

"Yes, we did. I decided to be honest with myself, my family, and everyone else, and eventually Naomi followed suit. It was never easy with her, but it felt right. It felt like she was my soulmate" I don't know why I was being so honest. This isn't really something you tell the girl you fancy. _Oh hey, by the way. I was head over heels in love before I met you, and I believe she is my soul mate. Get yourself together Fitch. _

"But then she cheated on me with some random, who then ended up killing herself over it. She had a bloody shrine and everything!" I still couldn't believe it to this day. It felt like a scene from an overly dramatic movie.

"Anyways, I was really angry and I lashed out. I did stupid things and I couldn't get over it. Until one day she decided to confess her love for me. In front of all our friends, she told me everything. She wasn't hiding, and she opened herself up completely, even in front of Katie, for me. And in that moment I fell in love with her again. Everything was wonderful until one day her mom came home from a vacation and told us that the guy she was with cheated on her, and she left him"

She nodded in response, urging me to continue "What happened after that?"

"I don't know really. It's like Naomi lost her shit. She started going on about her mind playing tricks on her, making her criticize me because I took her back after she cheated. Something about how it made me weak and she..."

"Fell out of love with you"

"Yeah. Yeah I guess. I didn't know what to do. She made me so crazy, I lost myself and turned into someone I didn't care for. She begged me to let her go so I did the only thing I could think of and ran away. I just... I thought... I really thought we were destined to be together"

After a few moments, after thinking about what I had said and making sure I was really finished, she spoke again.

"What happened with Naomi was meant to happen for some reason or another. We all live and learn and grow, even when it's the hardest thing in the world for you to handle." She took another deep breath before continuing.

"You're not the same Emily you were back then, not even the one you were yesterday. That's the case for everybody. You never know why people do what they do, but you do know why YOU do the things you do. That's the only thing that will ever make sense to you, even if at the time it doesn't"

I understood what she was saying, and I was surprised she wasn't bad mouthing Naomi. That's usually the reaction you get from people. But then again, Sept was far from normal, or judgemental.

"I just... I really thought we were... special. One of those forever kind of things, you know?"

"Who knows, maybe you are"

I was so shocked by what she said that I think I stopped breathing for a full hour before I managed to find my words again. "Wha... what do you mean?"

"No one knows what's in store for us Em. Hindsight is 20/20, and if we pretend that we know what's going to happen in the future, we set ourselves up for failure. The only thing you need to worry about is the here and now. Leave the past in the past and try not to peek into the future" She was making sense, and somehow I felt comforted by her words.

"Live in the moment, because it can all be gone in a second. And the last thing you want to be doing in your last moment is missing what's right in front of you by worrying about something so far away. Whether it's what has happened, or what's going to. Just live babe"

I just had to nod because I had lost the ability to speak. I wasn't upset by her not mentioning her role in my future, because she was honestly giving me advice without bias. Now granted, my plan was to keep her around, and I know she wasn't going anywhere. But she was assessing the information and giving me a non-judgemental, non-personal answer, and it was refreshing. It's what you need in certain moments in your life, and I was really glad to be getting it right now.

"So, you're...I mean... are you planning on sticking around with me? Even though I've got... you know... baggage" I already knew her answer, but I was curious about how she was going to respond. Sometimes it's my favorite thing about her, the way she responds to questions sometimes absolutely stuns me.

She responded with a throaty chuckle, and replied "I have more baggage than you Hun. Why do you think I'm a musician? The ever tortured soul revealing their torment through the sweet sound of song"

She had me there, and I laughed again. She really does remind me of Effy sometimes.

"So... are you going to tell me about you now?"

She nodded. "Sure. What would you like to know?"

"I don't know. I'm terrified you have a child somewhere"

She let out a laugh and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Either I'm way off or I'm dead on. At this point, does it even matter?

"No, I do NOT have a random child somewhere. The truth is, I'm an orphan. Have been since I was 8. My parents died, and my older brother took care of me. he was 11 years older than me, and didn't want me growing up in foster care"

_I know she never mentioned her family, but I wasn't expecting to hear that..._

"What about aunts or uncles? Grandparents?"

She shook her head. "My parents always told me and my brother that their families were very old fashioned. My mother came from a rich family and my dad didn't. So naturally, my mothers' family disowned her for marrying a poor man. And my dad well, he was from a European family. They didn't like the fact that he married outside of their culture and disowned him. Now granted, they did try to accept my mom. She even submitted to getting baptised Greek Orthodox. But they just couldn't get over it and eventually shunned them both"

I could only listen intently. There was a lot of information and I know how hard this must be for her, so I tried to absorb everything she said so she wouldn't have to repeat herself. I nodded for her to continue and placed my head on her shoulder while she talked. I could feel the words she spoke echo through her body, and just listened as she told me about herself for the first time since we met.

"So when everything happened, my brother filed all the paperwork to get custody, he was old enough. A few foster homes later, and we were together again. He dropped out of school so he could work and take care of me. We were extremely close. A few years later, he figured out what he wanted to do and went for it. I was older so I got a job after school, and helped him out when I wasn't working or in class"

"What did he decide to do?"

"Well, he saw all those kids that lived on the street. Sometimes kids fall through the system and end up homeless, you know? Once a kid hits 16, a lot of times the government looses interest and don't work as hard for them because they're considered adults. So he decided to build a shelter, kind of like a group home for teens. We modified our parents' old house that we were still living in and added extra bedrooms, bathrooms, stuff like that. That's how come I used to help run these events sometimes, my brother built up a status in the community"

I was surprised at this new information, it was definitely a complicated story. But I couldn't help but see one tiny flaw in the story as opposed to the present moment...

"Where is your brother?"

She quickly glanced at her shoes, as if trying to find the words etched into her shoelaces. "He died. Almost 3 years ago today. One of the kids tried to kill themselves and he intervened"

_Holy shit. _"I'm so sorry" ... _Fucking lame Emily!_

She just shrugged and went on "He died trying to help somebody. A noble way to go I guess. I was so angry, for a long time. At the kids, at people. At the world. We had both spent so much time trying to help people, trying to save them. And then that happened and I just snapped"

It's true. She was like that when we met, but I haven't seen it in her for a little while now, so I asked "And what changed?"

"I met you. And not in one of those sappy lovey dovey ways. One of those 'change the way you look at things' ways. I was given a way out of my little slice of hell through you, and I took it"

I understood it all then, why we were so drawn to each other. We were meant to be in each others' lives in those exact moments because we were what the other needed. We were just as important to each other as Naomi was to me, and Septembers' brother was to her. Life is fucking cruel and it may give us more than we can chew, but sometimes it throws something in there for you so you don't run out of oxygen. We were a second chance.

There was nothing else left to say to each other after that. Every word that needed to be spoke was said, and now it was just time to take in the moment. So I just kissed her cheek and was awarded a smile in return. We took in the scent of fresh cut grass around us, the random buzz of a bug flying by us, the feel of the breeze on our faces as the clouds drifted aimlessly above our heads. We must've stayed there for a long time because I ended up falling asleep on Septembers' lap while she gently stroked my hair, carefully making small circles in my scalp with the gentle tips of her fingers.

'

'

"So, how did it go? She must have prescribed you some pills since clearly she didn't bandage up your head" She had her all knowing Stonem smirk on her face and it instinctively made me roll my eyes.

"Very funny Eff. We just talked. She didn't give me any pills, we just set up weekly appointments. It actually felt really good, getting it all out of my system"

"That's great Naomi. I'm stoked for you but I'm starving. Can we please go somewhere to eat?"

Thank god it wasn't just me. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch because I was so nervous about going to therapy, so I had just chain smoked with Effy instead. That was a bad idea though because now it just made me feel queasy.

"Yes please. Anywhere in particular you want to go?"

"Anywhere I can get a strong glass of wine with dinner. I'm loosing my perma-buzz"

I had to love Effy. She didn't drink anymore because it could kill her, the meds she was on wouldn't exactly let her live if she had mixed the two. But she never stopped being herself, never changed her self image whether it be in the way she carried herself, or the way she thought about herself. She was still 'I'll-do-anything-for-a-riot-time Effy' and I loved that about her.

"How about we go to that pizza place we found a while ago, with the huge pizza oven in the back? You know, the one that reminded you of the hell fire where all those crazy little people in your head were sent to?"

"Don't make me stop short while you seatbelt isn't buckled Campbell. You'll fly right through the dashboard"

I chuckled "Alright. Sorry. You up for pizza though?"

"Sure, why not"

'

'

We had a lovely dinner together, in comfortable silence. Effy didn't like to pry about this sort of thing and we had already talked enough about it. The best part about being with Effy was that you didn't need to explain yourself like you were teaching a fourth grader how to multiply. She needed very few words before she understood whatever it was that you needed her to.

Our server came around a few times and seemed abnormally interested in trying to start up a conversation. He must have thought we were together, which is what the majority of people think. I always thought it was like a universe thing. The second you admit that you like fanny, it's as if the whole world sees the word 'lesbian' in bright flashing lights above your head and automatically takes an interest in you for no apparent reason, whether it be for a harmless one or a bad one. But Effy on the other hand said that people always 'assumed' we were together because they were all chauvinistic pricks who wanted to fantasize about two attractive women going at it, that it got them hard. I didn't understand her rationale at first, but when she pointed out two slightly more tomboyish girls actually out on a date, who by the way were completely adorable together, and showed me the guys that eyed them across the table muttering something like 'dykes' or 'the cure is my cock', I finally understood and agreed with her. She was right in her own way, and I couldn't help but think to myself:

_T__his world is a fucked up, and messy place._

'

'

After dinner we went back to ours, she went to bed straight away because she had obviously been working all day and her pills tire her out. I on the other hand had a head filled with so many thoughts and questions that I decided to take a nice, hot bath. So I hugged Effy goodnight, thanked her for being there for me today, and went into the bathroom. I turned on the taps in the tub, and stood at the sink while the tub filled up with that soothing, warm liquid I call heaven.

I looked up into the mirror and just stared at myself. I scanned over my features, from my long jawline to the gentle curve of my nose, to the icy blue color of my eyes. And for the first time in years, I smiled back at my reflection.

**Whew! Alright, that was a novel for me! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, the story feels to me like it's really picking up, and I'm doing my best not to write mundane or irrelevant chapters. Anyone seen the new pics for Skins Redux? So freakin' awesome! I love skins :D I'm so excited, this year has sucked for me personally, but for things like movies, TV shows, video games and left-handed guitars, it's A-mazzzzing :)**

**Oh and I hope the wait was worth it for all of you guys curious about September's past, I had fun trying to put all the pieces together :)**

**Soon my friends! and don't be scared to let me know what you think!**

**Violet**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello my lovelies :) How are you? Good? Excellent? Amazing? God I hope so, 'cause you guys rock. Thank you for all that you do. Even those of you who used to be like me, and faithfully click onto this site and read until your hearts' content without ever leaving any trace that you were even there... like a ninja! Before this chapter begins, I just need to say to anon, You are the fucking best. Thank you for being so sweet and I need you to understand how much your words mean to me. And as for whoever it was that broke your heart, it's clearly their loss! You really should get an account, even if it's just to read so I have the ability to message you back instead of writing it into the chapters, 'cause I'm sure some of you reading are going 'awe jeez, just let me read already you weirdo!' And for all of you doing that right now, let me just clarify that I am in fact a weirdo, because people tend to say the opposite of nice things to me in reality, so to hear all of you reviewers' kind words just makes me so happy. **

**May I present to you, chapter 9**

Katie POV

_9 months later..._

I am so freakin' excited right now. I'm at Heathrow Airport and about to get on a plane, but not before standing in this unreasonably long line at Carluccio's to get a nice big espresso and deli sandwich. My reason for being here? I'm on my way to visit Emily in New York. It's almost Christmas and I miss her. A lot. There's been a lot going on in my life and I miss having my sister around. We obviously haven't seen much of eachother since she left for Uni, but it's the holidays and I needed my sister.

My dad and James wanted to come visit, but they couldn't leave my mom alone over Christmas. Of course, mom won't visit Emily. She is aware that Emily shares a dorm with September, and as she hovers around during our webchats, she now knows they are together and doesn't want to be around it. A few months ago, I was webchatting with Emily and we were talking about how her and September moved into a couple's dorm, she showed me around with her laptop while they were still unpacking. It's like a mini apartment for couples with 2 bedrooms and a bathroom, and a fully equipped kitchen. If I'm being honest though, I don't know how they do it. A girls' gotta have her own bathroom! Women sharing that kind of space has GOT to be hell! But Emily assures me that September doesn't take long in the bathroom. Now, it's no lush flat, but since they are both attending school and can't afford place on their own, the University just made a few different kind of dorms for students to stay at. And they are allowed company over the holidays, so why the hell not right? Anyways, I'm getting off topic. So during this webchat, mom was overhearing and I guess she heard when Emily was talking about how wonderful everything is going between them, and that she had told September for the first time that she loved her. It was sickenningly sweet, but of course, leave it to the infamous Jenna Fitch to ruin that moment.

So long story short, my mom refuses to visit Emily, dad is smitten with September as am I, and James just wanted to come to see if September was and I quote: 'A hot piece of fanny'. Ugh, he is SUCH a perv. I thought the little twat would have had the creep kicked out of him by now...

'

'

I take the first sip of my espresso and wince at the heat of it, I should have paid more attention.

"Oh bloody hell!" I stuck my tounge out which was the most embarassing thing I could have done based on what happens next.

"Hey, are you okay? It looks like you just drank a cup of boiling hot lava"

I look up to see a girl looking at me caringly, and she quickly rummages through her bag before handing me a plastic spoon and cup of greek yogurt.

"Here, this will help cool your mouth off" She says

She is an airline stewardess, that much I can tell. But she is beautiful, she has eyes that are the color of Pounamu and hair as black as ravens wings. I rake my focus from her eyes and down the gentle curve of her nose, and then down to her mouth. her lips are perfect, adjacent to her face; small and subtle. I quickly snap myself out of... whatever the fuck I was doing because I notice a sly smile creeping its way onto her face, and I feel my face suddenly start to feel warmer than the sun. So I take a mouthful of the yogurt and feel an instant wave of cool that actually surprised me. _i'll have to remember this trick..._

"Better?"

"Y... Yeah, thank you"

"You're welcome" She smiles at me, and then picks her bag up from off the floor at her feet. She starts to walk away, and I find the ability to shout "Wait!" at her that startled both me and her at the sheer volume of my voice. I blush again _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ and manage to say "Sorry, I just, like... how did you know... that well ... it would help?"

She gives a small chuckle and replies "When you do what I do for a living, you learn how to heal a lot of ailments quickly to make the flights more bearable. Especially when there are small children on board"

I nod in reply, not thinking of anything else to shout out at the moment. She gives me another smile and says "enjoy your flight miss... ?"

"Katie" I reply, a little too eagerly for my liking.

"Katie..." She breathes, as if testing the name out on her tongue

"It suits you"

I smile back at her and would say I blushed again, but let's face it. It hasn't left my stupid face the entire time. She gives me one last smile and embarks on her way towards the gates, and I can't get any more antsy to see my sister. I really have to figure out where this shit is coming from.

'

'

"Emsy!" I shout through the crowd, and being of my stature, I know that Emily can't see me because I definitely can't see her. But then, I spot September in the crowd trying to get to me, and I know Emily isn't far behind her. September is a little bit taller than us, making it easier for her to find me in a crowd. We finally reach each other, and let me just say. This airport is fucking packed. A lot more than Heathrow. Whatever.

"Katie, hey how was your flight? Here let me take your bags" September takes my huge carry on from me and smiles at the weight of it, giving me a look like _how the fuck did you even carry this thing_ before stepping aside to let Emily get to me.

"I missed you"

"Me too Katie"

We grab eachother into a bone crushing hug, and September makes her way back to us through the crowd with my carry on in a luggage cart. I take a moment to properly greet Sept with a hug and look between her and Emily. They are all smiles, and it's nice. I hate romantic bullshit, but I'm fine with them. Sometimes it's just nice to see genuine happieness.

I must have been looking at them too long because Emily furrows her brows and asks me "What?"

"Nothing" I reply. "Just happy to be here" I smile

"Look, you guys catch up, I'll wait for your bags to come through the turnstile. What color are they?" September asks

I stick out my fingers and start checking them off one at a time "Pink, Purple, Red and there should be a pale green one..."

"Katie! are you moving in or what? four suitcases for two weeks?"

"Hey!" I scoff "I'm in a new country! I need to like, look proper lush if I'm going to pull a fit bird like you did!"

My face flushed as soon as the words came out of my mouth and I'm sure I looked like I had just seen a ghost, because I hear Sept mumble something like "Aaaand THAT'S my que..." before she practically runs towards the turnstiles where luggage has started spitting out of the shoot.

"...Fit... Bird?" Emily was as shocked as I was

"Uh..." I stutter "Yeah, 'cause like, you've got a fit ... I mean you've got Sept and I ... Uhm"

_Focus Katie!_

"Right. I just want to hook someone as lush as you did, yeah? Nothing wierd. Just came out like that" She seemed a bit sceptical of my answer but accepted it eventually. We made our way over to September who was struggling with my last bag, the Purple one.

"The fuck Katie, what do you have in here, David Beckham?"

"or apparently Victoria" Emily said sarcastically

"What?" September was confused

"She's just joking, she likes to pretend I like tits and fanny too so she doesn't feel so al-"

I was cut off before I could finish my sentence with Emily shoving my shoulder "I was NOT! you're the one earlier who said you wanted to hook a 'fit bird' like I did!"

_Fuck Emily!_

I went 20 shades of red when September tried her best to stifle a full on laugh when she said "Well, you've come to the right place if you need tips"

_Fuck my life, this is going to be a long trip._

'

'

We arrived back at the flat and it was actually pretty nice; they had decorated really well. You could tell what stuff was Emily's and what stuff was Septembers'. Emily loves very modern, clean styles where September likes that too, but she was very eclectic as well. So you could tell just from the entrance that the clean cut chestnut colored key table at the front door was Emily, but the tall ship in a bottle resting on top of it was definately September. I laughed a little at myself, because I could just see it now. The perfect couple, just decorating without a thought, and both of them loving the space just because it was theirs. _Gag me._

September brought my bags into the guest room while Emily pointed me in the direction of the loo, because I was in desperate need of a wee and a face scrub. I quickly washed up and went into the kitchen, where I found Emily standing at the counter, just staring at the kettle she had turned on with one hand resting on the side of the counter. She looked lost in thought, so instinctivly my thoughts go to negative.

"Em? You okay?"

She snaps out of her daze and nods, and when the kettle goes off she starts pouring the hot liquid into three seperate tea cups. September comes into the kitchen and urges me to take a seat and make myself at home while walking over to Emily. She hands September a cup and is awarded with a chaste kiss on the lips, _probably for my benifit_ I think, before taking a sip and sitting it down at the table. She doesn't sit down herself, not until Emily brings me my tea and sits down at the table with her own cup; across from me and to the left of September. Emily rests her hand on Sept's left knee and she places her hand on top of Emily's to intertwine their fingers while we drink our tea.

We chat for a bit about small things, like my flight, dad, all the new devious things James has gotten up to. We never talk about mom, Emily doesn't bring it up and niether do I. She knows. Anyways, after a few hours September apologises and says that she needs to go to bed because her last class starts early in the morning. Obviously they don't have the same schedules because Emily's last class was this afternoon. I tell her not to worry, that there is plenty of time to chat over the break. So she kisses Emily goodnight, a little longer this time, while gently stroking Emily's cheek with her thumb before standing up from the table with her empty tea cup in hand. She gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze and wishes me sweet dreams before putting her cup in the wash and heads to bed. After about 30 minutes or so of more aimless chatting, I can tell something is on Emily's mind and I decide to take the plunge.

"Em, you seem preoccupied, is everything alright?"

She looks up and me and has a look on her face, almost like there are two Emily's battling inside her to determine what she will say next. Someone must have won the war because she opens her mouth and says "Actually, there is something I need to talk to you about"

I swallow hard in my throat, because I'm not sure what's up. I'm really hoping it's nothing bad. So I nod to her and tell her "Of course, talk away"

She takes a deep breath before she begins "Well, classes are over soon, and that means my visa will be up too"

I cut in "Have you and September talked about it?"

"Of course, I asked her to come back to the UK with me and she said she would be happy to. She's actually quite excited to be honest, she's never been"

I was confused because now I really didn't know where she was going with this.

"Okay... so then what's the problem"

She shifts in her seat and pulls out a small black box from her bag that was hung behind her chair and looks at it hesitantly before handing it over to me. I take it in my hands and look to her to see if there is any indication in her features as to where this is headed; but there's nothing. So I decide to open it, and what I find inside almost knocked the wind out of me. Inside the box was a white gold ring, with two black diamonds in it's center, and four small white diamonds between and beside the two black ones. The gold is wrapped around in a way that it almost looks like foil, with jagged edges encasing around the stones. I look at it for a minute, it is gorgeous. I look up at Emily with a questioned look on my face, and her response was a mix between excitement and fear when she says to me in a hushed tone:

"I want to ask September to marry me"

**Dun dun duuuuun! Oh the agony! I know this because some of you have reviewed that you are particularly interested in seeing how I go about getting Emily and Naomi together again... If I decide too that is :O How dare I right?! Well! let me ease your pain a little... 'Hindsight is 20/20, live in the moment and don't try to peek into the future'! haha :P **

**Back in a jiff my homies!**

**Violet**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hellooooo... **

**Here is my first attempt at writing through Effy POV. Let me just say, I laughed so much trying to write this chapter. I hope it makes you guys laugh too, 'cause it was really fun to write! **

**Sorry again about that little hiccup in the last chapter, as soon as it was brought to my attention by Hugo I fixed it right away! So, Hugo, is that better? Be forgiving okay :) It happens!**

**Chapter 10, Effy **

I_ try to make it through my life,_

_In my way there's you..._

_I try to make it through these lies_

_And that's all I do_

I scream the lyrics at the top of my lungs while the bass echos through the speakers. People I'm driving past are looking, but it phases me in the least. This is my me time and I don't care if some old lady tries to make me feel bad for almost breaking her hearing aid. I bet you miss music, don't you Betty White! I bounce my body along to the heavieness of the drums and I feel free. It's as if the music covers me in a tight blanket so nothing else in the world exists.

_I try to make you see my side_

_Always try to stay in line_

_But your eyes see right through_

_That's all they do_

_I'm getting tired of this shit_

_I've got no room when it's like this_

_What you want of me, just deal with it..._

I've had a shit day. My boss propositioned me, again. He hung mistle toe above his office door and called me in saying he needed to talk to me about my 'preformance'. Then, when I made my way to his office, he stood in the doorway and wiggled his eyebrows at me so I would get the hint, _like I'd ever even touch you; tosser_. The way he acts around me is similar to Cook, but this guy is short, fat, and balding. Not to mention married. He isn't funny about it like Cook was, he is just vulgar. Even when I was younger I still wouldn't touch this guy, and that says a lot because I was very promiscuous back then. I found out later that it was a symptom of my... whatever the fuck the doctor called it. But now, I feel different about a lot of things. It's nice to know that some things that I did weren't my fault. I think clearly, there are no monsters chasing me, and there's no two voices in my head yelling at each other and me at the same time for me to do something, wether it be to fuck a random or take a pill. Granted, pills were fun, but is it really a good idea to take it from a guy who looks like he's riddled with desease? No.

I pull into the gas station, and I get out of my car to pump some gas. There is some bloke eyeing me from across the way because my music is still on, loud and pumping. The song has changed now, and it makes me smile.

_Landlocked_

_It's Saturday night at the end of the world_

_And there's a pharmacy in my pocket_

_And I've had my eye on you since the tide got low_

I look over at him again and he is still looking at me like I've taken my knickers off and put them over my head like a cap, so I give him a fuck you smirk, and he just shakes his head at me. And then the chorus kicks in and I start laughing histerically because this moment is just so bloody perfect.

_Spread your legs_

_And fuck the world_

_This is war, Yeah_

_This towns a virus_

_And you're a whore_

_We are war_

He stares at me in shock, either from the music or my laughter, or maybe both. Either way, he gets back into his car, rolls up the windows and speeds out of the station. The funniest thing though? He left the nozzle inside his gas tank. So when he sped away it ripped out and took his tank door along with it. I was crying now. Fucking hell people amuse me.

'

'

"Naomi?"

I walked into the front door of our flat and hung my keys at the front door. She is usually home this time of day, so I called for her again.

"Nao-"

"Eff! _shit_... yea I'm... _no no just lift_... ya... I'm just in the loo"

I hear scuffling around and from the sounds of it, Naomi has a _guest. _So I just lean against the door waiting for them, because lets face it. It amuses me. So I wait, until Naomi peeks her head round the corner to see if I was still at the door, and when she sees me she squints her eyes at me and says "Well? are you coming in?"

"I am in."

I see Naomi look back behind the wall she's peeking behind, half concealed, and her body moves as if she is gesturing to whoever is back there not to come closer.

"Oh bloody hell Campbell, I don't care who you've been shagging, just let the poor girl leave okay? I won't bite"

She looks into my eyes, and instinctivly rolls her own before letting out a sigh and saying "Fine. Come on then, out the front. I'm sorry about her"

A small girl comes out from behind the wall, trying to shield herself behind Naomi, but it's no use. I smile at her, and Naomi glares at me as if to say _play nice_. I take her hint and reach my hand out to her and say "I'm Effy"

She takes my hand in hers lightly and gives it a small shake "Hi, i'm Hailey"

I take in her appearance and a small smirk starts to crawl up on my face. She has bright red hair that is shoulder length, and straight across cut bangs. She has hazel eyes and slightly full lips. Not so much that it overpowers her face, but it looks as if she has accentuated their... poutyness... with lip gloss. _The closest clone to an 18 year old Emily Fitch if I've ever seen one. _So I give her a nod and step aside to let her out, and she leaves without even a second glance back. I turn my focus to Naomi, and she rolls her eyes again.

"What?" She asks.

I say nothing and hold my gaze. "Fucking hell, fine. I told her that you were my girlfriend alright?"

I was surprised. "Why?"

"Because she told me she had a boyfriend, so I told her I had a girlfriend so I could get her to come over"

"Wow, that actually worked?"

She shrugged. "The danger was with ME getting caught, and if I was 'cheating' too, she didn't feel so bad about it after little bit"

_Very nice Campbell. _"Well played. But next time, try to find someone who isn't the spitting image of Emily, yeah?"

I point my eyebrows up at her to make sure she got my point before breezing past her and into the kitchen to get something to eat.

'

'

"She is NOT the spitting image of Emily..."

She's walking in slowly trying to argue while ringing her hands together, but I can tell she feels it's going to be useless, so I just shrug and continue about my buisness.

We don't talk much the rest of the night, I've already made up my mind and I don't need to say anything to her about it. So we just stare at the telly sitting on opposite ends of the couch and watch a new episode of Being Human. This episode is brilliant actually. Some 'damsel in distress' girl runs into the hotel and that young wolf boy falls for her, but he's worried she is some kind of mythical creature like him. So his friend, who I'm assuming is a ghost? Well, she goes up to the new girl and tries to get her attention by flinging her dress up over her head and screaming. Well, I burst out laughing at that. I don't watch this show religiously but I think I might start. I notice Naomi doesn't laugh along, so I decide to try and snap her out of her bitchy mood.

"That new waitress girl on the telly is fit as fuck"

"What?" She squeaks "Oh, yeah. Right"

_Naomi Campbell, don't make me spike your drink with one of my happy pills._

"Who pissed in your cornflakes today"

"Nobody"

I decide to give up after that, I hate prying people. Ususally all I have to do is look at them and they spill the beans about anything or everything. You see, it's like they go through everything in their head until I give them some kind of response because they just want me to stop looking at them. Like I said, people amuse me. It's getting late anyway, so I wait for the rest of the show before retreating to bed. _Ah fuck, that hot girl died. Guess I'm not going to watch this show again after all. _I stand up and am about to open my mouth and say goodnight to Naomi before she speaks:

"Do you think that it means anything?"

"...What?" I actually am a little confused. I've been focusing so much on the show that I need a second to catch on.

"That... well, Hanna..."

"Hailey" I correct

"...Right, Hailey. Anyway, you said she looked... do you think that means anything?"

_Really?... REALLY Campbell?_

I sigh "I don't know Naomi. Only you can answer that. But you better get to bed soon, because I don't want you scaring Santa with your scowl face before he has a chance to place my presents"

"...Fuck you Stonem" She says quietly

I smile "Love you too Nai. Sweet dreams"

**So? Did you laugh? Just a little? Maybe...? I have a dry sense of humor so maybe I'm the only one laughing at this, but still. And does anyone know who that girl was from Being Human? Can you guess?! Beautiful, isn't she ;D haha Sorry but I had to. That episode was actually really good. Anyways! As always, thanks for reading. And Let me know what you think guys, I love your feedback :)**

**Oh, and anon? I've PM'd you back 'cause I'm pretty sure that's the only way I can reply... so if you're as challenged at this as I was (and still kind of am to be honest) it should show up under Private Messaging when that security thing goes away... Anyways, you know you're awesome. **

**Violet**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! I have a pretty long chapter for you today, a couple POV'S at once. I hope you can follow along because the story skips around a bit. Just so you know, I may be starting a new job that is full time, so my updating may struggle a bit since I do my writing at night and the job starts early. So, if that happens, I have prepared by giving you this chapter. **

**Chapter 11, When ghosts come back to haunt you...**

Naomi POV

I wake up to the smell of fresh snow. At least, that's what I think it is. It doesn't snow much here, but there is a distinct difference between the smell of rain and snow. Rain leaves the air heavy and humid, whereas snow gives the air a sharp crisp to it, and smells of clarity. I squint my eyes at the clock, 4h 30. _Great. The ass crack of dawn means I have a long day ahead of me._ I lie on my back for a few minutes and just stare at the ceiling. I run my view over the stucco and eventually start to make patterns with my eyes. To the left, a dog. To the right, a spoon. In the center, a bell. I do this quite often, when something is on my mind that's so big I can't even think about it. It's like there's no room in there or something.

I talked to my therapist about Emily yesterday. It was suggested to me that I am stuck for one of two reasons, either I am still in love with her, or I feel incredibly guilty about the way things ended up and hate myself for it. I opted for the latter. Still, I can't think clearly so I roll over on my side to reach my dresser, and turn on my iPod. I press random and roll back onto my back, while the gentle beat fills the room.

_I was so lost back then_

_But with a little help from my friends_

_I found the light in the tunnel at the end..._

I remember this song. It was played a lot on the radio back when I was in college. Katie used to play it all the time. Incidentally, it ended up on my iPod because of Effy, I accidentally sync'd her playlist one day. Effy has... interesting taste in music. She's been getting into a lot of American metal lately, I came into the flat one day and some woman was screaming at the top of her lungs while Effy danced along in the kitchen making herself some boiled eggs and toast. I had to laugh at the sight while plugging my ears, and I got a little nervous because there were families in our building and they aren't shy to complaining.

'

'

"Eff! Hey Ef! Shit, you might want to turn that down, yeah? People might complain!"

_Blood! Blood! Blood!_

_Pump mud through my veins_

_Shut your dirty, dirty mouth_

_I'm not that easy_

"Tis the point of loud music Naoms, we won't be able to hear 'em comlaining!" She screamed with a smile on her lips.

_Blood! Blood! Blood!_

_Pump mud through my veins_

_I'm a dirty, dirty girl_

_I want it filthy_

"I know but, I quite like our flat!" I shout, at this point the combination of screaming from both the song and myself is starting to make my head throb

"You're such a spoil sport Naomi!" She shouts, and then shakes her head "Just let me finish this song, alright?"

_Thank fuck. _Although I hope the song ends soon, I don't know how much I can take. She finally turned the song off and was in a... interesting mood. I could tell, because she kept glancing over at me as if going to say something, but she never does. So I got irritated and asked her what her problem was.

"Well? Spit it out Stonem"

She looked at me and tried to 'look' her way out of it, but I wasn't budging. So she finally gave up and began "Do you ever see the Fitches anywhere?"

_Why the hell? _

"What? No. Why"

"No reason..." She shrugs

"Effy..." I needed a full explanation for this one.

She sighs. "I just, I've been thinking about Katie lately..."

I was floored. I didn't think she ever gave a second thought about her. "Okay..."

"I miss her"

_What the fuck, Effy._

'

'

I was lost in thought about that day when something snapped me out of my thoughts. I look over to my window and see a lapwig on my windowsill, just staring at me. It was the weirdest thing; I didn't even move a muscle. It was as if my body reacted to it like it was a dinosaur, _no, sudden, movements_ I thought. And just like that, it was gone. As if I had just stood up and smacked the window, which didn't happen. _Fucking hell. _

I need to do something. Yes, I am attending therapy, but I need to get out into the world and just. Be. I don't know how to explain it. So I decided to go for a walk. I threw on a hoodie and topped it off with my jean jacket, and put on some fingerless gloves and a toque. It was relaxing actually. I could hear the crunching beneath my feet and watch the smoke that would form out of my mouth when I breathed out. I didn't know where I was going, and I ended up on the top of this hill in a park that overlooked midtown. There was a vacant bench nearby and I thought _why not._ So I sat down and watched the sunrise. The sky turned from a dark blue to a gentle green hue, then to pink. I hear a couple clicks from behind me followed by crunching, which can only mean footsteps. So I turn around sharply and startled the girl behind me. She was dressed in a long black wool jacket, with some leather accents on the elbows and shoulders. It's got zippers in random places, and two huge collars that jet out from her neck. She has a beanie on that looks a little too big for her head, with some kind of white calligraphy on it; and really bright grey eyes. She looks sheepish and begins to say something.

"Hi, I'm sorry for… I hope you don't mind, you just looked so…"

"Sorry for what?" I asked

"Taking your picture"

_You did what?! _

"Uhm…" I begin

"Here, I'll show you what I mean"

She comes over, sits on the bench next to me and places her camera between us. She lights up the screen and the pictures she shows me are really beautiful. There's one where my silhouette is blurry and you can see the brightness of the city in front me, with the stars still halfway owning the sky with the pink sun struggling for full control. There is another one close up of the side of my face, my eyes extraordinarily bright blue; looking at the horizon. She shows me a few more, but I'm distracted because she smells lightly of a perfume I had forgotten about years ago.

"The… they're beautiful" I manage to squeak out

She perks up "So I can keep them?"

"On one condition" I say.

"Name it"

"You don't use them to wank off to, okay?" She laughs at this and shakes her head.

"My girlfriend says that all the time, that's such an odd word"

"Well, your accent is odd, so I guess that makes you the perpetrator"

She smiles as if she remembers this moment, somehow. "…That it does. What are you doing here alone so early?"

Under normal circumstances I would have told her to fuck off, but considering I needed to talk and she wasn't from around here, I decided to tell her everything. I told her how I was feeling, what I was thinking, what I was doing. She took it all in and nodded along with me, and she would occasionally squeeze my shoulder for comfort. She didn't watch me talk, which I was thankful for. She just took in the scenery and listened to me. I felt a hell of a lot better and I think she sensed it. So she saw an opening and took it.

"It sounds to me like you've changed. That you're actually trying to be a better you, and that's a noble thing. It's time to let go and see that you are doing great by not allowing yourself to make the same mistakes, hurting people."

She takes a deep breath "Just give yourself a break, okay?"

I nod in agreement and give her a small smile so she knows that I have appreciated her advice. I was surprised by her response; I would have expected her to call me an asshole or something. But she didn't, she just commended me on making an effort to better myself. It was very kind. So she smiles back and we just sit there, watching the sun finally win its war with the stars and light up the sky. Then a question crosses my mind.

"Why are YOU up this early, alone, without your girlfriend and in another country?" _Wow Naomi. Way to be nosey. _

She looks over at me and checks off my questions one by one. "I'm actually up late, seeing as how London is 5 hours ahead, my girlfriend is at her family's house because she hasn't seen them in a while and her mother is homophobic, and I followed her here because I love her and wanted adventure"

I nod again, and we continue our silence. Until she perks up and says "You should meet her, you'd love her! Come over for dinner"

I smile playfully at her, and say "Inviting someone you've never met over to your flat? Did no one teach you about stranger danger?"

"Yes, that's why I learned mixed martial arts" she shrugs

"…Oh"

She laughs "We should have it all unpacked by the weekend. Why don't you give me your number and I'll text you?"

I reluctantly hand over my phone _fuck it_ I think. _I can bring Effy with me_. She writes my number on her hand with a sharpie and I look at her and point my eyebrows up at her. She gets the hint and says "What? It's all I've got okay?"

"No cellphone?"

"I had to cancel it"

I nod "Right"

"I'll text you, okay?"

"Alright" I give her a nod and wave goodbye, and then I remember something so I stand up to shout after her "Oh, hey!"

She turns. "Thank you, for well… you know"

"No problem" She smiles, and turns back around to walk away. She has her camera in her hands and is still taking pictures as she walks, and I turn back around to look at the sky while listening to the gentle sound of the crunching snow get further and further away.

_Yay me, I made a new friend. _

_'_

_'_

Emily POV

"What do you mean you invited a friend over for dinner? We've barely been here 72 hours!" I laugh

"She just seemed so sad! Besides, you'll like her. I promise"

"Fine" I give up "Is this something I've got to expect now being with you? Bringing strays home every time I let you out alone?"

"Yees" She says, in a tone like a little cartoon of a Mexican bean.

I shake my head and kiss her "Dork"

"You love it" She smiles into the kiss

"Yeah, I know."

"Oh, wait" I say, a light bulb going off in my head "What did you say her name was?"

She looks at me, and turns her lips to the side, as if trying to kiss someone next to her without moving her face.

"Well?" I say

"I uh, forgot to ask…"

"You've GOT to be joking"

She just shrugs and gives me a small smile, and it makes me laugh. 10 years from now and we'll probably have like a million stray dogs and cats living with us because of her.

We spent the rest of that week unpacking, I visited my family and September hung out with Katie a few times. I hadn't proposed to September yet, because we had bigger things that popped up over Katie's visit that needed attending to. Plus, I wanted to do it here, in the UK. Kind of like a fuck you to everything it's thrown at me. I know I said I'd gotten over Naomi, but the truth is, I haven't. So, I bought a ring and made a plan to propose here so I can finally tell the universe to shove it. I had made up my mind, and this was going to fix everything. Katie was excited when I told her, and I'm surprised she hasn't spilled the beans about it yet.

'

'

_1 month previous_

"Em?"

"Yeah Katie"

"Can we talk a moment?"

"Sure" I say, while placing some knick knacks in a box and wrapping up another in newspaper "What's up?"

"Let's go in the kitchen, I'll make tea" She says. Whatever, I could use a break.

We head into the kitchen and I sit at the table while Katie puts the kettle on. September is out getting Katie some new pillow cases, because she smeared lipstick all over the other ones and we can't seem to wash them out. So Katie is standing at the sink and looks as if she is contemplating something. I'm not one to push, so I just sit there and wait. Eventually the kettle goes off and she brings over two steaming mugs and sits down. She blows a bit on her tea before she takes a sip, and then decides she wants to begin with whatever this is. She really acts weird now that we've grown up. It's like me moving away made us closer, and her not being able to have kids knocked her off her pedestal.

"So, like, there have been weird things going on with me"

"Oh?" I say

"Yeah. I think that girls are starting to hit on me"

I fight back a snort "So? What's that got to do with you?"

"I think… maybe… I don't know. I might like it"

_Well that's not surprising. _

"So what, Katie? You and I both know that you love the attention"

"Not like that bitch! I mean… I notice things about girls now. Like their eye color, the smoothness of their skin, the gentle pink color of their li-"

I spit out my tea and startled the shit out of my twin

_What the fuck Katie?!_

"Whoa bitch, you spit tea on me!"

"Did you just say that you're finding girls ATTRACTIVE?!"

"Well…" Her voice small now "A little… I don't know what to do Ems!"

"So kiss a girl, see if you like it" September is back, and must have heard a bit of our conversation, because she is peeking her head into the kitchen with a cheeky grin on her face and a plastic bag in her hand.

"What?!" Katie shouts "I can't do that! They'll think I'm a lezza!"

"Who will?" September asks, looking confused

"Apparently, all the fit blokes in England" I say, sighing as I do so.

"No! I just… I'm not gay!"

"Katie…" I start "Kissing a girl doesn't automatically make you gay. Lots of girls try it. Besides, Effy tried it back in college, d'you remember how cool you thought she was? You never know. It could make you popular" I say sarcastically.

"Fuck off" Katie says back to me

"We'll take you to a gay bar then, its settled" September suggests.

"That's an awesome idea! Then we can sit back and assess the situation with Katie to get an accurate reading on her through our gay-dar guns!" I'm amused now, and actually starting to like the idea.

"Well… I guess I could get a couple free drinks out of it…" Katie reasons.

"We'll go to Gingers!" I pipe in. The place is quiet enough that I'll be able to eavesdrop, and it's definitely the kind of atmosphere that my loud mouthed twin will have a hard time getting used to. _Win, win for me._

We arrive at the bar around 9, and let me just say; Katie was dressed for attention. She wore one of her infamous leopard print blouses and some tight black leggings, with high heeled leather boots that reached up to just before her knees. They had big buckles on the sides and she matched it up with big, chunky jewelry and smoky eye makeup. September and I giggled at her efforts, because let's face it. Katie is Katie and it amuses us how into-attention she is.

She got propositioned a lot that night, by all kinds of girls. But at one point, a girl in a big rolling stones t-shirt being used as a dress _oddly familiar… _came up to her and challenged Katie to a game of pool. Well, me and September watched in awe as this girl got Katie to work it, she struggled with that pool cue and I couldn't help but be disappointed. _All those year driving stick and you can't even use a pool cue? Shame on you, Katie. _

The biggest shock of the night though? Katie snogged that girl! Right in front of everyone! I couldn't believe it, but September just laughed her face off at it. When I asked her why she said "They all turn at some point or another" referring to straight girls. I playfully shoved her and shook my head at her while doing my best to hold back a smile.

_'_

_'_

So today is Saturday, and September managed to set up a time for our mystery girl to come over for dinner using my phone. It was quite amusing actually, seeing her struggle with the touch tone keypad. "Fuck me, I hate touchscreen" She says.

She helped make dinner with me, and even ran out to get some extra ingredients we needed. She never complains, and always does the sweetest things, which makes me feel guiltier for these feelings I still harbour for Naomi. _It will all go away when I propose _I thought. Dinner is ready, and we are sitting on the couch together snuggled up watching some old black and white movie when the doorbell rings. September's face lights up and she jumps to her feet before kissing the top of my head and skips over to greet our guest. She gets really excited when she makes new friends. I hear the girl and her exchange hellos at the door, so I straighten out my top before heading to the foyer to meet her. Then, in that moment, my whole world comes crashing down around me and I feel as if I am falling through a hole filled with screaming demons and hot coals; I think I'm about to faint.

"Emily?" She croaks

"...Naomi"

**Oooooooh, monster cliff hanger! I hope you enjoyed :) It took me a while to write because I had writers block for a bit. But, as you can see, I managed! And as always my darlings, let me know what you think :)**

**Much love, **

**Violet **


	12. Chapter 12

**Ah! You guys! One hell of a cliff hanger judging by your comments! AND HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TRAILER FOR SKINS? IT'S COMIIING!**

**I think some of you may be having an inner battle within yourselves over who Emily should choose, and that was my whole point! You know personally what Emily is going through and I love it! That was my intention when writing this story. I know it took a while, believe me when I say that I was just as eager to get them together again as you were :) But obviously I didn't make you wait too long with my crazy updating :) So thanks for all of your patience, and this chapter is especially long because I was inspired by all of your lovely reviews. See what happens when you do the simplest things?! **

**So here's your present, Happy Birthday!... Maybe one of you out there has one today? Yes? **

Naomi POV

Brown eyes. That's the first thing I see. And they are so familiar, the ones I used to fall asleep to at night, the ones I now have to dream about. The ones I've missed for so long, are now penetrating through me like a javelin. I just walked into the house of Emily Fitch, _my Emily_, and my new friend September. Did I just walk through a wormhole? Did I die in a car accident on the way here? Am I dreaming?

"Emily?" I croak

"…Naomi"

The way she says my name still sends chills down my spine and I just stand there in awe. I can't take my eyes off Emily, she looks so… beautiful. She has dark brown hair that is a little longer than I remember, and that vibrant shade of red I used to associate with her is now vanished. She has a little more color to her skin, which make the shape and hue of her lips stand out even more. She is wearing a loose grey cardigan which I can only guess is Septembers', seeing as it is way too big for her; hanging down just above her knees and she has the sleeves rolled up several times so that they are the right length for her hands to poke through. It has a giant leather cross embroidered on the back with black rhinestones around it, with a white tank top underneath. She has black leggings on that have little cut outs along the legs that show a little bit of skin peeking through, and it's all topped off with the cutest little moccasin slippers. I know she's eyeing me up too, and that makes me self-conscious. I shift a little on the spot, and stare at my feet because I can't bring myself to make eye contact with her again. Suddenly, there is a break in the silence.

"You guys know each other?" It's September, and by the sounds of it, she is a little freaked out. To be honest, she is definitely not the only one._ I can't believe this is happening._

Emily pipes up, and I know that she still hasn't taken her eyes off of me because I can still feel her gaze "…yeah, hum." She clears her throat "Sept, this is that ex of mine I told you about, Naomi"

I see the shock register in her face and it's in this moment that I feel for her. Here, she has brought her girlfriend, who she has told me that she loves, together again with the 'infamous' I gather ex. The one that fucked it all up, the one who treated her like shit even though all she ever did to me was love me. She doesn't know what to say, so I try and take the heat off by speaking.

"I… this…" _Fuck! I can't find words!_

"I've missed you" _Success!_ Although, not the words I wanted to come out of my stupid mouth right now. Emily's face darkens and her eyes narrow, and I can tell she is about to lose her shit, which can only mean one thing; she still loves me. Why else would she flip? It means she still cares at least. And that's enough for me.

"You've _missed_ me?" She practically shouts, and September takes a step back at this. She clearly has never seen Emily this upset because she looks horrified.

"What the fuck, Naomi! I'm not back in the country a _month _and you weasel your way into my life again?" She is getting redder now and I know from experience that it's best to let her get it all out, interrupting will only make things worse.

"I don't fucking believe this. You can't show up at my door, the home I share with my girlfriend, and tell me that you bloody _miss me._ Not after everything you've done. To me, to us." My silence seems to tip her over the edge.

"Now what? After all this time, you have no sarcasm to hide behind? Nothing?" Now she wants me to speak up, so I start

"I'm sorry Emily, I didn't know I swear. I'd never met September bef-"

"I know that, Naomi!" She shouts this time.

"Look, Em. I'm so sorry okay? For everything. I could never expect you to forgive me for what I've done, because I've never been able to forgive myself. I promise I will stay away from you guys forever, I'll do anything-"

"I've heard that one before" She snorts

Regardless of her digs, that I rightfully deserve, I have to get this out. "I just need you to know how sorry I am, okay? There is no excuse for the way I behaved back then, and there's not a day that goes by where I don't wish I ran into you so I could just… I'm begging you" I plead "Just… I'm a fucking twat and I never deserved your love. You were and always will be the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know I'll never deserve you and that's a given. But I hope that one day; we will be able to smile when or if we pass each other on the street."

That's it, that's all I've got. I've been looking her in the eye since I started my little speech and she hasn't taken her eyes off of me the entire time. So now, after all I've said, we're just left there, staring at each other. September has an expression on her face that I can't place, and when this is all over I owe her a huge apology. She is an amazing girl, definitely the kind that Emily deserves. And I can't help but think I've just fucked everything up by accepting her offer in the first place. I see September shift and lean her body against the wall behind her, and this startles Emily out of her thoughts because she finally breaks eye contact with me and looks to her. Then, Emily's face flushes and it's as if she has just realized that Sept has been standing there this whole time, watching the exchange between us with front row seats. Emily instinctively takes a step back from me and closer to Sept, and I think for the first time between them, there is tension. Emily opens her mouth and says "You should go, Naomi" without breaking eye contact with September, and I adhere to her wishes and leave. God knows what I have just done.

September POV

Emily still loves her. I can tell. I don't blame her, I liked Naomi and we had only met once. Not to mention she is absolutely gorgeous. And at this point, knowing that Naomi loves her back isn't at all relevant. But after everything we have been through together, I don't know why I thought she was over Naomi. She has told me a few times about her thoughts, feelings. I guess you can never get over someone you loved so much, and I have a feeling that it will end up like this for me too. I love Emily, with everything inside of me. But I know that in this moment; have to decide between my happiness and hers. And I'll be damned if I stay with someone that I don't make happy.

For the first time since we met all those years ago, I can't find words. I think that the only way I'll be able to speak is if I slice my throat and search for the words inside of my neck. But thankfully, I don't have to say much.

"Sept" She begins "I'm so sorry…"

I only manage a "Me too" Before retreating to my silent state. And I don't know if Emily knows that my apology means so much more than that. We just kind of stand there, saying nothing, still at the front door. She starts again, this time grabbing my hand first

"I'm sorry but I can't… I can't be friends with her… I don't really like the idea of you being…"

I know that she is asking me to stay away from Naomi, so I just nod. I can do that. Besides, It's not like she was my BFF or anything. So I squeeze her hand and we walk back into the living room to turn off the TV that has switched into some late night British drama, and Emily walks towards the bedroom. She notices that I'm not following, and turns around to say "I'm really exhausted babe. Are you going to join me?" I shake my head "I'm still on New York time, I'll be in later" I give her an apologetic smile. I feel horrible; because this is the first time that I have ever lied to Emily. The truth, I actually was exhausted. But there was just way too much on my mind. I wanted nothing better than to go to bed with her and just hold her as she slept, because that has always been my favourite thing to do. It beats kissing her, making love, holding hands, eating a burger and fries in the comfiest sweats while washing it all down with a shake for Christ sakes. The thing that gives me the most happiness in this world is being her pillow.

She always kind of nudges me when I go to lie on my side or my tummy, because she wants me to lie on my back. So she can wrap one of her tiny wings around my chest and nuzzle her head into my neck. She moves her entire body against mine, and the heat that radiates off of her body is beyond bliss. She will start off by tracing her finger along my collar bone, and I always know when she is about to doze off by the way her breath feels on my neck. It gets heavier and her finger starts to stop making its strums, and I always end up waking with a pinch in my arm because it has been wrapped around her all night while she uses it and my neck as a pillow.

So she nods after my lie, none the wiser, and instinctively comes back to give me a gentle kiss on the lips; and tells me not to be long before she retreats to bed. I touch my lips after she is gone, and there's a gentle buzz humming upon them. I'm petrified, that this is the start of the end. That this may be one of the last few kisses we ever share. Because I can just feel it. That slow pull of the Band-Aid ripping off the skin. It hits me then, the realization, and right now I'm pulled to lying to her and doing something I never thought I'd do; I grab my keys and head out to find somewhere still open that serves hard liquor.

_Because I think, actually I know, that I have always been Emily's band aid._

Emily POV

I can't believe the 'friend' September invited over was Naomi bloody Campbell. She has lost her blonde hair and it's turned into a light shade of brown, and her wardrobe has gotten a little hipster, what with the colorful birds printed on her top with an Irish wool sweater loosely draped over her shoulders... _Fuck sakes! Focus!_ _that's not the point, Emily. Thinking about the ways that Naomi's appearance has changed and how beautiful she always looks is so NOT the bloody point! _

What are the chances? It's like the universe knows that I want to be with Sept so it will stop at nothing to keep Naomi in my thoughts. It never fails, I thought about her at least once a week or more. Granted, it did slow down a lot being with September, but it never fully dissipated like I thought it would. And I was fine with that for a while, until I graduated Uni and knew I had to come back to the UK. I panicked, because I somehow knew that I would run into Naomi somewhere. Obviously, I didn't think it would be like this, but I didn't want to run into Naomi and risk falling for her again. So I thought, if I bought Sept a ring and proposed that my brain would be in marriage mode and I would be okay if I ran into Naomi. She has never made me okay, so I just wanted to feel secure. Is that bad? Was I being rash? Should I even propose now, knowing full well that it might not be for the right reasons? I slammed my fists down on the pillows, because I wanted so badly to be happy with what I have. I ended up with one of the most amazing people I've ever met, and I can't even love her proper. I know how much she loves me and I just can't handle it. I feel like I owe Sept a proposal. _Wait, I what? Owe her a proposal? What the fuck is happening?_ Why do I feel like this? Why, even after all this time, does Naomi still make my insides do flips? I don't want to love her anymore. I have something great and she won't ruin it for me. She won't take Sept from me. I can't do that to September... I love her!

I have to sort this.

I was brought out of my self-deprecation by my phone buzzing. I look at the screen and see the name "1st Brit Friend:)" show up on the ID before I take to reading the text:

_Hey Sept, I am so sorry for what happened tonight. Emily has every right to be angry with me. I know you said I need to give myself a break, but I can't. Do you see now why I can't? Emily is the most incredible human being in the world, and what I did to her was unacceptable. I hope you can forgive me, but we can't be friends. I owe it to Emily to stay away from her. I know she is in good hands with you, and I am so happy for both of you. I wish you both all the best. – N_

I read the text that was meant for Sept, and I don't know why I do what happens next.

_I understand. Can you meet me? We need to talk._

As soon as I've sent the text, my phone buzzes again:

_Sure, I can do that. Where? - N_

I get off the bed and put on my shoes, I know I heard September leave a little while ago. So I grab my keys and am out the door, and text Naomi to meet me at the coffee shop up the street, and I know this is reminiscent of what Katie did to Naomi back in college. In another lifetime I might even find this humourous, history repeating itself.

_What are you doing, Emily?_

'

'

September POV

I end up walking onto some random pub because it seems to be the only one that plays music I am kind of familiar with, so I sit at the bar and tell the bartender to give me something strong. I've never actually drank before, so I leave it up to the bartender to do what he's got to do. He sets down a glass with some auburn liquid in it and a few ice cubes, and points to a girl across the bar and says "This is from her. And don't worry, it is very strong" He winks at me before setting it down in front of me. I look over the bar to the girl who ordered my drink, and she is actually quite beautiful. She has piercing blue eyes and smoky eye makeup, with wavy brown hair that is a little messy around her face. She is wearing a black tank top with a red hot chili peppers logo on it in red, and she has on a pair of light blue jeans that are torn apart at the knees with a pair of red converse. She reminds me of the girls you'd see in my brothers' group home. Battered, bruised, and beautiful. So I smile at her and take a sip, _fuck me it burns_. I see her chuckle and then get up to join me. As she walks over, it's as if she moves in time with the music.

_Don't feed me scraps from your bed_

_And I won't be the stray coming back_

_Just to be fed_

_Don't be waves_

_Come to seal my fate, marine_

_Just pretend_

_That you want me_

_And be my babe_

She takes the seat next to me and hasn't once broken her gaze from me. I start to feel uneasy, because I think maybe she wants to hit on me. I've never been good at picking up on these things, and there have been a few times where Emily has had to tell me that they're flirting. But to be fair, I don't usually care because I'm happily taken. But this time, I just need to think. I don't have the energy to gently turn someone down right now. She looks at me a bit longer, then swivles in her bar stool so she is facing the bar, mirroring my position. She looks ahead and says:

"You looked like you could use that drink. Don't do it often?" She asks, as if trying to start a conversation. So I just reply with a simple "Yeah. Thanks"

She nods again, and starts to play with her drink. Then she speaks a second time, letting the words leave her tongue before taking another sip of her alcohol.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it will pass" And as soon as it's out of her mouth is when I officially crumble. Tears start to well in my eyes, but I don't let them fall. So I just look down and play with my drink just as she does. She looks at me and her face goes from uncomfortable to concerned when I make eye contact with her. I see a little flash in her eyes, and it's as if her whole demeanor changed the second I met her gaze. _This girl is extraordinary. _She shuffles herself closer to me and places her hand on my shoulder, which causes my eyes to fall to my drink again. She doesn't stop looking at me though, and I can feel her eyes pleading with me to tell her what is wrong. So I decide to give her a bone, and I say

"I think my girlfriend is still in love with her ex"

She takes in the information and nods, as if I've just given her my life story in one sentence. She removes her hand from my shoulders and orders two more drinks from the bartender. When I give her a questioning look, she shrugs her shoulders and says simply

"love bites"

'

'

We end up on the roof of that pub at some point, and there's actually quite a nice terrace up here. There are strings of lights of all different colors above our heads and we are looking out at the street a few stories below us. I am resting my elbows against the railing, hunched over a bit so my drink-free hand can hold my face. She is standing straight beside me with one hand on the railing, still sipping her drink. We haven't spoken, we've just stayed in the gentle shadow of each others' presence. She is an odd girl. Very observant, and very clever. But also, very troubled. It seems as if she makes other people around her nervous, but it doesn't bother me. It actually has a soothing effect for me, because right now, I need someone observant. Someone who isn't pretending, someone who doesn't have an ulterior motive. She doesn't try to pry information out of me, but she's stuck around because she does genuinely care, even if we may never see each other again our entire lives. Somehow I think, this is all new for her too. I can tell she is surprising herself, because even though they are little, she does odd things that seem to come unnaturally to her like play with her drink or fixate on something in the distance for an elapsed amount of time.

I don't know what prompts me to finally allow myself to ask her the question that's been tugging at me the whole night, but I must have needed to ask it because I turn to her and ask:

"What can I do?"

And what comes next is entirely unexpected. She leans over, takes my cheek in her hand, pulls me in close; and gently kisses my lips. And it strangely doesn't feel sexual. It's as if this is the strongest way she has inside of herself to show endearment in it's most raw form; affection. Comfort. Tenderness. She pulls away, and places another soft kiss on the tip of my nose before whispering:

"You just burn, kid"

**Dun dun duuuuun! Was it worth the wait? Just a little? Like, a paquito? Don't worry, more chapters are coming since I didn't get the job. Something about her neighbour's kid applied... Feeling obligated... Anyway! I have a favor to ask you lovely viewers. I would like to take a poll, who is on team Naomily or on team Ember? :D Like what I did there? huh? lol Of course! We are all team Naomily, why else would we be here! I just know some of you are having a hard time, saying you are shipping? them? Wanting Emily to propose anyways, or not... So if you could be so kind and vote, and don't be shy about it! and if you are, then feel free to PM me your vote so you don't have to worry about getting hate mail. I won't tell a soul I promise. So! as always, would love to hear your feedback, and feel free to let me know what team your on! Thank god it's between two pink teams though, AM I RIGHT?! Ha. Sorry. **

**Cusoon!**

**Violet**


	13. Chapter 13

**I am so sorry for the delay in updating, especially after you guys left me the best reviews of life! AND OH MY GOSH YOU VOTED TOO! I LOVE YOU. You are all so freakin' sweet, I don't even have to buy candy coke bottles anymore! Can you believe Miss-Maraudeur left me a review?!(sorry for the - replacing the . stupid thing wouldn't save for some reason)... well, a vote... that means she is reading! The authors I look up to *Ahem! Ever heard of Manifolds?* are reading my story! It's just so... crazy. Like, really. Wonderful readers and writers... I wonder if scriptmanip *Ahem, Resting on Your Laurels! Come on!* is reading too... If you are, Hiii! You rock! I'm sending every single one of you the biggest virtual hug EVER, because if I could travel all around this world, find you all and give you a real hug; I would... Okay I'm appreciative, not creepy :S Sorry. **

**On with lucky number 13!**

Emily POV

I wonder if this is how Katie did it all those years ago. Did she stand outside as I'm doing now, and watch Naomi go into the shop and sit down; blissfully unaware that she is about to be face to face with someone she wasn't expecting? Did Katie buy a pack of fags as I have, and smoked the only one taken from the pack quickly discarded as rubbish seconds after it was purchased? Did she watch the smoke escape her lungs infront of her face, as her intestines did jumping jacks inside her torso? Knowing how different me and Katie are from each other, I'd venture to guess she did nothing of the sort.

I inhaled one last lungful of the tobacco stick, that is probably filled with more rat poison than the plant, and stub it out on the brick wall beside me. I watched Naomi walk into the coffee shop, and I wanted to kick myself for my hearts' sudden loss of function as it skipped at the sight of her. It really is strange, seeing her again. I can fully review the moment as well, when it's on my schedule. I can't help but miss her blonde locks that I've become so accustomed to associating with her. She is still stunning, but I guess my familiarity has made me a bit bitter about her new appearance. Her style has gotten better though, but I'm sure my sister would still have a few choice words about it.

_I bet that sweater is really warm,_ I thought.

Then, I look down at myself and take in my own appearance. I am wearing Septembers' sweater, and it too is warm and comfortable on me. It smells of her, and I pull the collar up to my nose and let the smell of her hairwash and perfume invade my senses. I have to remember what I have, who I have. The strength that Sept has given me all these years has turned me into someone like this, someone who would confront Naomi. Someone who would demand answers to things, someone who knows who she is and what she believes in. It's in this moment, observing myself and the strides I've made over these last few years, that I recieve the confidence that I need to enter that coffee shop, and sit down at that table with Naomi Campbell.

So I walk across the street and place my hand on the door, pushing myself inside. The door doesn't have a bell attached to it, which I am quite grateful for seeing as how I want the full element of surprise. As I walk over to her table, I hear the gentle music playing quietly in the shop, and I can't help but hate how tragically romantic it sounds. _Fucking great._

_Lay your life on mine and I'll carry you through_

_Make good use of time and I'll stand with you_

_Cause I've got all my life to love you and so do you_

I'm walking in and her back is to me. She has her phone on the table and her hands folded in her lap, as if she is waiting for a text message giving a vague explanation for an inability to meet her. _Well, she's not going to get off that easy. _I plunk myself down on the seat in front of her, the one that I saw her pull out a little earlier when she sat down, and I'm surprised to see her face go from shock to amusement.

"You know, you're the second Fitch to do this to me. Unfortunately Katie beat you to it years ago, hon"

The way she says 'Hon' makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"So you were expecting me"

"Something like that" She smirks. "I've ordered us tea, I hope your taste hasn't changed"

Before I have a chance to open my mouth, she replies "It's actually a win win for me. I knew if I was meeting September you would have engraved that strange tea love of yours into her, seeing as how you did it to me when we were together. I still do it today you know"

I can tell she is genuine, because she is smiling and it's as if this simple memory gives her intense joy. The barista comes over with two mugs of tea and places them down at the table for us. I look to Naomi for her to tell me which one is mine when she shrugs

"They're both the same. Fig Rose Herbal Tea. It's supposed to be their flavour of the month"

She takes a sip of it and looks to me and raises an eyebrow as if to ask 'are you going to try it?' So I take a sip and it's actually not bad. Kind of sweet, but floral. Refreshing in a way other than mint. I realize I haven't said a word since sitting down, so I decide to say something non-chalant.

"Sept isn't much of a tea person when we go out. I think it's because I make so much at home, she usually gets apple cider or one of those iced green coffee lime things."

She nods in response and takes another sip, and I ask "How have you been?" at the same time she says "September is really wonderful" We have both heard what the other has said, and it's as if now we are in a boxing match, bouncing around each other in the ring waiting to see who is going to respond first. So I throw the first punch and reply "Yes, she is amazing. And she really liked... likes you. I was contemplating slipping her some sleeping pills before you came over 'cause she was so bloody excited" Naomi nods, and gives me a bright smile in return. So I decide to add with a small chuckle "She can be such a toddler sometimes". She laughs at this, and looks to me as if she is waiting for me to continue. And when I don't, and give her a pointed look to answer my question; she decides to reply.

"I have been fine. Well, Effy would argue with me but whatever. I feel okay, you know? better than I have in a while." And her response is so vague, yet says so much because I know her so well. She realizes this and shifts a little in her chair, and I know I make her uncomfortable. She is about to say something again when I cut her off.

"So Naomi. What am I to do with you?"

"I..." She murmors "...I don't know what you mea-"

"Look" I begin "I'm here, meeting you, for a reason. I think I need answers from you. I need to ask questions and I need them answered. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course I can"

"Okay. Well, I need to know if you still feel the same"

She looks confused, so I clarify "Do you still think I'm weak for taking you back all those years ago?"

"No" Is all she says. So I nod to myself and continue "Right. Wel-" before I'm cut off by her interjection. "Anybody can say fuck off to someone who has wronged them. I've learned first hand how hard forgiveness is, and I've always admired that about you. You were able to forgive me for Sophia and I've never been able to forgive myself, for anything. That's one of the big goals of my therapy actually, learning to forgive"

_So there's no home for doubt_

_If you're scared we'll work it out_

_And the lives that we share could be anywhere_

I'm shocked, I didn't think she would ever attend therapy. So I decide to go the cheeky route and reply with "Naomi Campbell, in therapy for being self riteous. What a shocker"

i can see that my comment had a harsher effect than I had intended, because her shoulders slump a little and she starts playing with her cup. A few moments pass before she is able to speak again.

"Do you think we'll ever be able to get to an okay place?" She asks quietly

"I don't know, Naomi. Are you on bipolar pills? Do I have a guarentee that your mood is going to stay level for any amount of time?" Again, a little harsh. I hate myself for still being bitter but we've never been able to hash this out.

_For as long as you're mine we can stand the test of time_

_For the cost is too high not to love_

"I'm not her anymore, Emily. I'm not afraid anymore. Sure, I can be sarcastic still but that's only so people don't mess with me. I'd like to think I've gotten my head out of my ass because I can actually care for Effy, who let me just say is a handful at best. I'm working on bettering myself and I'd like to think I've made progress." I'm not particulatly warming up, but I guess since I don't really know how this whole 'confronting-the-ex-who-scarred-you' thing goes, I guess I can just listen for a minute.

"Look, I'm not asking to be together again, I'm not asking to be your friend. God knows I have no right to ask a thing from you." She is struggling now, and i'll be damned if this is all it takes for me to forgive her again. She has done too much damage.

"I stand by what I said all those years ago. You deserve happieness, and all the beautiful things life has to offer. You have gotten all of that, and I am so happy for you. The worst thing I have to live with every day, is knowing that I wasn't strong enough to be that person in your life who could give you that. The love you deserve, the ki-" I cut into her sentence with words that I never thought I would say out loud.

"YOU were always enough for me, Naomi."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, it's as if time stops. I feel like for the first time, she is actually hearing me, my words, my voice. She is hearing ME; all that I am. All that WE were. This life we were meant to live together, the fact that it doesn't exhist effects us both. And from what I can see, I've done alright. But Naomi, she has been suffering. While I had to deal with anger and heartbreak, she's had to deal with a lot more. She's hated herself for so long, and I feel empathy for her. The things Naomi has done to me, the things she has put me through... I would never wish this on her. This punishment. I came here thinking I needed to punish her, to get revenge or to make sure she knows that I'm okay; but the reality is she has always needed me. She has always had me in her life and she fell apart when I left. She is learning to build herself again and I can't find it in me to be angry at her anymore.

It's like this. Say you're driving down the street, in a brand new car, great life, great job; the works. It's a beautiful sunny day and you decide to take the scenic route home. Then, at the side of the road with a sign that says 'Please help, starving', you see the guy who used to bully you at school. That guy everyone thought was SO cool and SO hot, the one who snogged that girl you had a crush on while shoving you into lockers and calling you filthy names every chance he got. The one who followed you home one day so he could throw things at the back of your head as you walked. That guy who now is covered in dirt from god knows where, riddled with desease, and addicted to heroin; he's begging on the street corner while you're out enjoying the day with all the happieness in the world. He did some horrible things to you, and has been the leading cause to some of you're insecurities throughout your life. But you can't help but feel bad for him because the punishment for his crimes are... well... you get it. And even though he makes you doubt yourself every now and again when you look at your reflection in the mirror, you wouldn't wish this fate on him. You can't hate him anymore, because you won in the end. Granted, I wouldn't call me the 'winner' or compare Naomi's life to that of a crackhead, but I just can't hate her anymore. I need to move on, and so does she. We need closure from each other and that's why we are here. I take a deep breath before starting my next sentence, because I know it is going to change everything.

"I don't hate you Naomi. What happened between us was... shit. But I'm willing to move on. And you should too, really. I'm... you don't owe me anything. I didn't die, I'm here, and... I'm okay"

_Put your cares on mine and we'll carry them through_

_Walk the firing lines with the power of two_

_Cause I've got all my life to save you and so do you_

She is looking at me, and it's as if she isn't quite sure how to respond. Her eyes dart quickly from side to side, and if I wasn't paying such close attention to her I probably wouldn't have noticed this. Her gaze shifting between my eyes, as if searching for the response inside my retinas. She opens her mouth and shakes her head a little while she says a simple and hesitant

"...Good"

I can't stay here anymore, I need to go home. Back to my life, back to September, and away from this bloody song that seems to be playing on a fucking loop through this place. But for some reason when I strain to hear it, I can't.

"Look, I have to get home. I'm exhausted and I need sleep. But thank you for staying to meet with me, and I wish you all the best with your therapy" I stand up to leave and she stands as well, eyes still glued to me. She looks as if she is struggling with something, but before I can ask what it is, she closes the gap between us and wraps her arms around me. And it's strange, being in this oh-so-familliar embrace with a girl I once knew, a girl I once loved. It's almost as if we've never left each other, as if we don't have a history we just spent the last hour working through. I find myself hugging back and I know I miss this. I miss her, and she still smells of soft lavender and vanilla. I know that I want her in my life, I want to know her again. But it's too soon for any of that. Right now, this is as far as we go. _Right now. _

We break from the hug, and she is teary eyed, but still manages to give me a sweet smile before saying. "Get some sleep. I'll see you around, Emily"

I nod to her and return her smile, and as I leave I chance a quick glance back to her and say "Just give it time, yeah? We'll get there" Before exiting the building.

_For as long as you're mine we can stand the test of time..._

_For the cost is too high not to love._

Naomi POV

I walked into the front door of my flat, and I've never been so happy to be home. I left the house today thinking I was going to be hanging out with new friends, maybe have a threesome... okay maybe not, but still. I didn't expect the night to turn out like this. Emily was the one texting me to meet her, which means that she read my text. I don't know what is more embarassing, knowing she read it, or the fact that she didn't say anything about it to me at the coffee shop. I hugged her, and she still smelled the same. Her hair was still so soft and... I need to deal with this. I need to deal with the fact that I'll always love Emily Fitch, but that I can never have her. I have to deal, but I know that I want her in my life. I'm not going to push, but hopefully now that we live in the same area I can at least run into her at coffee shops or something.

The first thing I notice, is the quiet. Sure, it's usually quiet, but that's when Effy is either in bed or out trying to pull. And I know it's the latter, because she told me she was going out while I went to my 'snooze fest' of a hang out with friends to eat dinner at their flat. But for some reason, her shoes are at the front door and the TV is on. And I'm actually quite thankful, because I really need some of her all-seeing advice right now. So I take my shoes off and walk into the livingroom, where I find a zoned out Effy quickly switch off the TV upon my entrance, as if to say 'okay, you've got my attention for exactly 2 minutes; Go'. But I know she is more than curious, because she did after all turn off the bright box with moving pictures and vivid lights. I sit down on the sofa next to her, and let out a sigh before placing my feet up on the coffee table in front of the sofa. And I know it annoys the shit out of Effy when I do this, but she let's it slide for some reason tonight. And if my brain wasn't so overloaded with my latest drama, I may have even asked her why she wasn't trying to scold me with a hot iron. It's this sudden change in behavior that makes me want to say something to fill the uncomfortable silence that I thought didn't exist between me and Effy anymore, so when I blurt out "Emily was her girlfriend", I hear her say "I met someone", we both snap our eyes to each other in that moment; and it becomes and instant stand off of confused and intrigued blue eyes. She knows I am about to make her repeat herself, but she quickly retorts with:

"Oh no you don't Campbell, Fitch comes first. You know that"

_Ugh. I can't argue with that._

I give her my Campbell eye roll and say "Fine! But you had better tell me what the fuck happened to YOU tonight, Elisabeth Stonem"

She knows when I use her full name, that I mean business. So she gives me one of her trademark smirks and nods to me with sparkling eyes declaring that we have a deal. So I go on and tell her everything that happened tonight at their flat. How Emily reacted, how Sept acted, and how Emily later tricked me to meeting her at a cafe so she can get some answers. Effy laughed at that, obviously finding it amusing that it was the second time in my life that I got fooled by a Fitch, but I carried on as if she didn't say a word. I talked about how it felt to hug her again, how she still smelled of fresh lilies, and how I felt horrible that I may have messed things up for Emily. How I wanted to kiss her cheek right after I hugged her, and before I could say anything else, Effy snorted out a laugh that she must have been holding in for a while; because it looked utterly painful when she finally let it out.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"It's just so... I don't know what to say. There are a million different scenarios that could have brought you and Emily together again. But this? Come on, Nai. Tell me you don't feel like you're in the middle of some ostentatious teen drama written by Jamie Brittain or Bryan Elsley"

_Seriously, Effy?!_

"Of course I do! You think I don't feel utterly rediculous? But I don't know what to do. Should I avoid her and stay away? Should I try to make an effort to connect?... Shou-"

"Stop fidgetting Campbell!"

I still myself, because Effy yelling is so unnatural that it freezes me instantly. _I guess I have been mucking about with things whilst talking to her. _She takes a deep breath after I become stone, and says

"Look. Don't make it so complicated, okay? She has your number, so if she wants to see you she'll text. And if she doesn't, you live close so-"

"But that's just it! What do I do if she doesn't want to see me, and we jut end up at Tesco's at the same time or something!"

She pinches at the bridge of he nose as if I've just asked her for the millionth time what the square route of 5 is. "Fucking relax. I'm the basket case here, remember? Right. So if you 'run into each other' at Tesco's, just say hi; you twat"

"Not everything is that simple Ef"

"It's not so complicated either, Naomi"

_She has a point._

**I hope that was worth the terrible wait time I made you endure! and if that last scene with Em and Naomi seemed vaguely familiar to some of you, it was inspired by S6 of the L word when Shane bumps into Molly at that store with the big... bowl... Anyways! I will see you soon! Well, I'm going to try and update but I've got some stuff to do... mainly wait for The Last Of Us to come out on Friday so I can pick it up and get into some kick ass zombie action... No! I WILL update! I'm putting a reminder in my phone *click click click***

**XO Violet**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! Quick update for you because I can't sleep. Shocker, I know. But! Here is Chapter 14 for you! As always, thank you so much for reading, reviewing, following... Oh! and favourite-ing!**

**...**

**That's not even a word is it... **

"Alright Ef, I told you about my night. Now spill the beans, chop chop"

I was NOT going to let Effy slink away to bed before telling me what happened to her tonight. Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse... wierd... rediculous... Effy drops a bombshell. 'I met someone' was all she said. She may not say much, but this is like a scream in your face. She looks at me, and for the first time she looks almost... nervous. Like a kid getting their first picture taken, or going to a job interview for your dream career. She looks around the room a bit before looking back down at her hands, and when she starts wringing them together I've lost my patience.

"Fair is fair Ef. Now spit it out"

"I met someone."

"...Yeah, you said that"

"Well what more do you want me to say?"

_Jesus Christ Effy, and you say I'M impossible._

"I need you to elaborate, Stonem. Like I know what the fuck you mean when you say that. I'm not psychic like _some _people"

She lets out a sigh and shakes her head as if I've just annoyed the fuck out of her, which let's face it; I probably have.

"I just... She... it didn't work"

_What didn't work? She? And why are you studdering!_

"What are you on about? What didn't work? And what do you mean, SHE?"

She lifts her head up at me and gives me a fuck-you look, and then takes a deep breath before starting what I assume is going to be a speech. Well, an Effy speech.

"I tried it on with a girl, and she wouldn't budge. Bought her a drink and everything"

I still don't get it. So I just stare at her. Hopefully she'll get the hint.

"God you're so bloody dense, Campbell. I hit on a girl, bought her a drink, and cranked the charm and seduction to 11. And I got fucking nothing! Not even a- ...What?!"

She stops mid sentence to comment on the fact that my mouth is dropped to the floor. First of all, I didn't think she was over men, and second, someone on this planet is actually impervious to the temptress known as Effy Stonem? That's impossible. Like, actually finding an immoveable force and an unstoppable object. The two just cannot exhist in the same realm... can they?

"I see you're just as astonished as I am then" She says after a moment

"...Uh, right yeah, what? Wait, when did you start liking girls?"

"When I started thinking that dicks were overrated and tediously predictable" She shrugs

"Which was when?"

"Last night"

Bullshit. "Right..."

She starts to smirk, and I can tell she's giving me a hard time now. So I roll my eyes at her and she lets out a small chuckle "I don't know, I just did it. I have before too. It's not a big deal you know, sex is sex, and beauty is beauty"

Okay, that's fair enough I guess. "Okay... So when you said you met someone, you meant your kryptonite? Or you actually like this person?"

"I actually like her"

_Well, that was definately NOT what I was expecting._

"Oh, come on Eff. So you found someone who's... immune to your charms. Big deal. Don't mistake your confusion for actually wanting them. 'Cause I know you, and the second they give in is when you'll lose interest" Once it's out of my mouth, I see the hurt register in her face, and I'm not quite sure what line I've just crossed. But whatever it is, it seems to have actually bothered her. So I open my mouth to apologise, but before I can say a word she interjects

"Yeah Campbell, I get it okay? I sleep around, I'm emotionally detached, I don't give a fuck. I get it. But what I don't get is why this person, whom I've never met, made me want to hug her instead of fuck her. After a few minutes it stopped being about her knickers and was about doing anything I could to cheer her up. I don't fucking get it, she made me feel! Even Freddie didn't have that big of an effect on me"

She has never mentioned Freddie before, let alone said his name out loud. So the mere fact that she even said his name has me stunned, and the rest? I just can't register it in my brain. Effy actually gives a shit about this person. Yes, she cares about me, but that took years, and we're not romantically involved. Effy tends to be emotionless about romance, so where is this coming from? And it's really effecting her, because I've never seen her unsettled before. She has always been my rock, my constant. The one thing in my life that has stayed the same and never faltered. But somehow, for the first time, I'm seeing her as... human, not super-human. So I do the only thing I can think of, I walk up to her and hug her. And I don't know how it happened, but she put her arms around me and starts to sob. I feel horrible, because I don't know what to do. Effy Stonem, is crying in my arms, about liking someone? Jesus she is terrified.

"It's okay Eff, we'll work it out yeah?"

Emily POV

I walk back to the apartment and it's absolutely freezing. It's snowing big flakes, and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm emotionally exhausted, I would say it was quite beautiful. So I take my keys out, unlock the door, and walk into the house. There is a small light on in the kitchen, and I know that September must be home because she always does it for me. She knows I have shit vision at night, so she leaves a light on for me so I can find my way around.

I take my shoes off, and hang my coat up. Nope, she's not in the living room. I walk into the kitchen, not there either. The only place left is the bedroom. I open the door and peek in, and there I see September curled up under the duvet with her leg sticking out from underneath it. She still has her grey jeans on, which means she came home too tired to get into pyjamas. _But she still turned the light on for me, _I think to myself. So I take off my sweater, strip off my leggings, and crawl into bed behind her. I move myself up close, and wrap my arm around her. I push my face as far into her neck as I can, and I take in the smell of her shampoo. As I inhale, I feel uneasy. I smell something on her that I never thought I would; whiskey. September doesn't drink, like at all. She said she used to, but got into trouble because of it and hasn't done it since. So what made her do it tonight? Was it because of Naomi? Did I do something? Before I have a chance to be swallowed up by my thoughts, I've drifted off into a sleep I can only discribe as part blackout, part coma.

'

'

When I wake, I can smell fresh coffee and cinnamon. I look around the room to find something to put on, and settle for one of Sept's white V neck t-shirts she has sprawled across the floor. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, and make my way into the kitchen. As I walk around the corner, I can hear some light violin music playing an introduction in the kitchen.

_The other night_

_I had a dream_

_There was a world full of kings and queens_

_But it was cold_

_Dark as the night_

_We were the fire on the moonlit skies_

As I enter the room, I can't help but take in the sight before me. There, in front of me and at the stove, is my girlfriend. She is wearing a black fitted tank top and the boxer shorts I bought her as a joke for Christmas, the ones with sugar skulls and Santa hats on them. They are quite humorous, well I thought they were, but every time I see her wear them it makes me smile. She only looks this ridiculous for me. I look over her shoulder to see what she is making, and I see huge brown buns that she is splaying icing across. There is a small bowl of candied pecans next to her, and as she takes a handful to place a few on top of the cinnamon bun, her shirt rises up just a little bit so the tattoo of black and purple calligraphy down her side is visible. She has a fair bit of tattoos, but that one on her side is my favourite. one of my favourite things to do is trace the letters lightly with the tip of my finger, and watch the muscles gently ripple and twitch under my touch. This moment, watching her make pastries from scratch, remembering the way she always makes sure that one of her shirts is on the floor for me because I don't wear tops to bed, the way that she gently kisses me awake if I'm still fast asleep and need to wake, the way she makes me feel like I'm the only one in the room of 1000 people; that's why I'm with her. That is why I love her, and that is why I do what happens next.

I walk back into the bedroom and retrieve a small black box from my dresser drawer before going back into the kitchen that smells of delicious heaven. September hears me walk in this time, and is putting one of those big buns on a plate. She smiles at me, and brings over a steaming mug of coffee and the plate over to me. She kisses my forehead, whispers 'Good Morning', and places the items at the table.

"I've made breakfast... well... attempted it anyways. Do you like cinnamon buns?"

I nod, and I can't help but smile like a goof at her, because she has always been an amazing cook. She smiles at me again and asks,

"Well? Sit down babe, come on" and she pats the seat next to her. I walk over to her, but I can't sit down just yet. I hold out my hand, and when she takes it I gently pull her up so she is standing infront of me. She is smiling and has her eyebrow raised up at me in confusion, and if the butterflies in my stomache get any crazier they're going to fly out of my chest.

"Em?" She asks

I tip up on the tops of my toes and kiss her passionately on the lips, and when I pull back I know I have her full attention. So I take out the box from behind my back, place it between us and say:

"I bought this a few months ago, and I've thought a lot about it. You make me so happy, and every day that I wake up next to you is... I want to do that for the rest of my life, you know? I love you, more than I thought I could ever love another person. So... here" I open the box, and finish my sentence with a question that can only change my future forever.

"Will you marry me?"

**Oh. My. God. Can you believe I did that! I didn't think I was going to! But it is fiction and I did warn you I was a bit mental... But never fear my lovelies, I haven't forgotten this is a Naomily fic, I promise! But what would there be if there wasn't drama in these stories, am I right? **

**I'll be back soon, and be kind in your reviews if you decide to leave any okay! I know some of you are going to have choice words for me... Sorry I love you don't hurt me XO**

**Violet**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you, all of you, for not killing me! And I must say, the reviews I got from you guys... Made me laugh like crazy! Some of you couldn't sleep, some of you are considering skipping a few expectedly agonizing chapters, some of you want Em and Sept together and some don't! Boy, you make it hard to please you, eh? Well never fear dears, some more drama ahead for you! And... some Naomily as well *Ahem! bazuka74, I hope this tides you over* Many POV's coming up, I hope you can follow along okay!**

**Oh, and we're still on Naomi for now. **

**Chapter 15**

I don't know how, or when Effy ended up doing this.

I woke up with a start, because I knew something was wrong. I raced around the house, looking for something out of place, when my eyes fell to the knife block in the kitchen. One was missing. That could only mean one thing. I ran to Effy's room and found it unoccupied, so I raced to the bathroom only to find it locked. I couldn't open it for the life of me, I tried everything from kicking it to screaming for Effy to open up. She wouldn't come out, and screamed through the door "I need to go away! I don't deserve love, everyone I love dies!"

"Effy! What are you talking about? I'm here, I love you! Come on babe, open the door!"

I kick at it again and she screams "No! You don't understand, Naomi! That girl, and Freddie... I ruin good people! I'm no good, don't you get it?"

I'm terrified now, so I pull out my phone and just press the call button. I don't care who it rings, _just fucking answer._

'

'

September POV

Holy shit.

Fuck.

Emily Fitch, is standing in front of me with a beautiful ring, and asking me to marry her. Am I dreaming? Wha-

I'm cut off by Emily's phone buzzing like crazy on the table next to us. I look at it, and then back to her, and she does the same. She makes a snap decision to answer it, and says:

"Katie, this better not be you or I'm going t-... Naomi? What's... Wait, she what?"

She looks up at me and shock is written all over her face. So I ask her what's wrong and she says "It's Naomi, her roomate... She's locked herself in the bathroom with a kitchen knife"

Call it instinct, because I say "We're on our way" Before Emily can even respond. I'm at the front door, and she follows me, phone still to her ear. We get in the car and Emily tells me where to navigate. I have to admit, it's a lot harder driving on this side of the world, especially since the street signs and lanes are on opposite sides than I'm used to. We finally manage to arrive at what I'm assuming to be Naomi's building, and it's actually not that far from our place. We buzz, and don't have to wait long before we are ushered up to the 6th floor. Naomi has unlocked the door for us, and you can hear her yelling and banging on the door for this Effy girl to open up. So I follow the sound of her voice to the bathroom, and Naomi is red faced and sobbing histerically. I tell her it's okay, and that she needs to go to Emily who is in the kitchen. She complies, and tells Effy that she'll be right back. Naomi leaves and I gently knock on the door.

"Effy? Hey, my name's September. Can you tell me if you're hurt?"

I hear shuffling around a bit before a quiet "No"

"Okay" I say "That's great. Can you tell me why you've locked yourself in here then?"

"Why"

"Because if you're pregnant and trying to abort, I'm going to have to get you a coat hanger. A knife isn't going to work" _Humour, really? Way to go._

Surprisingly, I hear her chuckle "No, I'm not aborting. I'm just..."

She doesn't speak for a few moments, so I insist "Go on, I'm listening"

"I'm scared"

Okay, progress. "Of what?"

"...Love"

Why is it that I can never prepare myself for what life throws at me? A girl, has locked herself into a bathroom, because she is afraid of... _love? _Well considering the shit mess I'm in right now, I don't blame her.

"So... NOT the boogyman then"

She laughs again "No. Far worse than him"

She's got a good sense of humor at least. "Look Effy, I understand. Love can be scary, love can be painful. Sometimes, like in France, love can be deadly-"

"Because crimes of passion are legal..."

I laugh "Yeah, 'cause of that. The point is, the world is ugly. We all get that. And it's because of that, it makes life predictable. But love, love is unpredictable. Love is what life gives us when we are getting bored, you know? It shakes things up a bit. That's all it does, you don't need to be afraid of a little adventure, do you?"

She shuffles around again, and replies "I guess not"

"There you go, see? Now come on hun, open the door okay? I don't think Naomi can take any more of this or she's going to pass out"

I hear her stifle a laugh from behind the door and I continue "Seriously, if her face gets any redder, she's going to get a heat rash!" I hear a small "Fuck off" from in the kitchen and I can only tell that it was from Naomi. Effy hears it too and chuckles before saying

"But, I want it, you know? For the first time I really want it... but I can't. Every time someone loves me, they end up dead. It's not fair to do that to... well, anybody. I'm not going to hurt myself I just... Force of habit I guess."

_Oh, I see where this is coming from._ "Effy, you can't control what other people do, okay? As much as Naomi and Emily tell me that you have 'magic powers' or whatever, when it comes to love, you can't control that. I can't control my feelings for Emily, and I'm sure she... " I can't finish with _can't control being in love with Naomi either, _because I remember that she is in the kitchen and we haven't really discussed this yet. So instead I say "...She is scared because she asked me to marry her, and I haven't had a chance to answer her yet"

And with that simple end to my sentence, is when the entire apartment falls silent.

Naomi POV

September was doing really great with Effy, some how she can get through to her, and even make her laugh, "She really does have a gift with the crazies, doesn't she?" I ask Emily. She just nods, and gives a small smile "Yeah, she really does"

After a moment it sinks in that I actually called Emily, and she's actually here. With me, looking like a snot nosed, blubbering twat. But she's here, with her hand on mine, gently stroking the back of it with her thumb, the way she always used to. And it still has the same calming effect on me after all these years, because I have stopped crying. She has made me believe that everything is going to be alright. I can't help the tingles that flow through my body when she is near, or even touches me. But I'm quickly snapped back to reality with what comes next.

_Emily asked me to marry her, and I haven't had a chance to answer her yet._

Those words echo through my head like a migrane and when Emily hears that sentence, it's as if she snaps out of a daze as well, because she pulls her hand back from mine as if it had suddenly caught on fire. I look at her, and I use everything I have inside of me to keep my tears away. _Did she really propose to September?_

"Yeah, this morning. As you called, actually"

_Shit, I must have asked that one out loud. Well, the elephant is already been poked, so why not kick it as well._

"Why... Why did you ask-"

"Because I love her, Nai"

That casual shortening of my name tips me over the edge. The old Naomi would have freaked out, even would have snapped a sarcastic remark at that, but the new Naomi says this instead.

"If you're happy, and she makes you happy, then I'm happy for you. Congratulations."

She looks up at me in both shock, and something I can't quite place, and says confused "...Really?"

Nod.

She nods cautiously in response, and starts playing with her hands. Now, the Emily I know, when she does this it means she has something on her mind. So I go ahead and ask, not really ready for the response.

"Em? What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

She looks up at me, takes a deep, noticeably shakey breath and says quietly "In the moment, I was, yes. I was totally ready for this. But now... I'm just... I'm not sure, you know? What if she says no? ...What if she says yes?"

I'm confused. "What do you... Don't you want her to say yes?"

She looks down at her hands, gently shakes her head and says "I... this is shit, isn't it?" I don't know what to say, so I give her a weak smile and a small shrug. Somehow, it feels like she is talking about us, and the following statement only confirms my assumptions. "This..." She whispers "This was supposed to be you and me, you know? I should have bought a ring for you."

_Shit._

"Em..."

"How we ended up, this... it was your fault... It was... right?"

_Wait, is this turning into what I think it is?_ "I don't understand... are you trying to blame me to.. so you can rationalize this?"

She stands up, but I usher her back down by reminding her that September is still talking to Effy a few feet away. "Look Em..." I start, it must be time for honest confessional now.

"I will always love you, with all my heart. What happened to us was my fault, okay? No question. But if September is not what you want, then you'd better make this right with her. You can't put her through this." I put my hand on her knee for emphasis.

"Em, it's not right"

She looks up at me and gives me a killer glare.

"I can't exactly take the proposal back now, can I?" She snaps.

"No" I say calmly "But you can talk to her. She's clever, yeah? She'll understand."

She puts her head in her hands, and it takes everything out of me to stop myself from consoling her with even just a simple touch. "I just... Everything was fine with us, she is wonderful... in person, to me... Why can't I just be happy with what I have? What in the bloody hell is wrong with me?"

I suddenly remember the speech my mother gave me all those years ago, and I can't help but find it fitting for this conversation. "Emily, hey, look at me" She raises her head.

"The people who make us happy, are never the people we expect. Sometimes they're the people who make us miserable, uncomfortable, sad, or even angry. They are almost never the people we want to make us happy. It sucks, but that's the truth. You know where I stand on this, you deserve to be happy. And I'm sure September will feel the same way"

"But Naomi, she bloody well LOVES me, like proper. I don't want to live my life without her, and I know I love her. When I proposed... the moment was real, it was what I wanted. So what does this all mean?"

"Well, do you love her? Like proper, I mean?"

She thinks for a moment "I... I don't know. I want to say yes, but the hesitation I'm feeling right now... it doesn't feel right. I never felt that when we..." She looks at me, and I can tell that now she is definitely talking about us.

"I... I want to be sure again. About she and I. But I've just never been able to... be sure I mean, not like it was with you. And I hate you for this. I hate you for breaking me so I don't work anymore."

_Fuck, Emily. I'm so sorry._ "I can only apologise" The tears are welling back up into my eyes now, ready to spill over at any moment. "...And nothing I say will ever be enough"

She's not looking at me, and I'm grateful for it. "...So what does this all mean then? I love her, but I don't love her enough?"

I had to think about that one for a minute, but I end up speaking before I've made up my mind "Maybe you love her, but that doesn't mean you're IN love with her. Look at Ef and I, we love each other and I need her in my life, but I don't want to marry her"

_That's the best I can come up with right now. _

Effy POV

I feel so stupid. I had a melt down, for what? Some girl I was never going to see again? That girl outside my door, what was her name... September, she said that Emily proposed... Fuck that's going to crush Naomi. But I'm silent for a minute, because I can hear Emily and Naomi talking about it. I hear the confusion in Emily's voice and I need to get this September girl away from ear shot of them. I may not know her, but Emily and Naomi are destined to be together, and this girl doesn't need to hear them talking.

Fuck sakes, it took them this long to figure their shit out? I unlock the door quickly and grab the girl by the arm... _she seems familiar somehow_... and usher us as quickly as I can into my room. I hear her groan under the sheer speed and force that I used to bring her here, into my room, but whatever. I will forever be on team Naomily... What? I made the name up years ago to pester Naomi, and it just kind of stuck, okay? I close the door behind us, and all of the sudden I am face to face with said girl who caused my mini-meltdown in the first place.

She looks at me, and it registers in her face that we have met before. Last night. She opens her mouth a couple times to say something, but settles for ruffling the hair at the back of her head instead. I watch her intensely, and she finally blurts out:

"Fuck me, this world just keeps getting smaller and smaller"

Emily POV

Fuck you, Campbell.

Fuck you for making me second guess the life that I have built with September. And fuck you for being so 'calm' and 'honest' about things. Why can't you just fuck off? The only reason I'm here is because Sept is super heroic when it comes to this stuff. She rushes in without a thought of herself. So why am I stroking Naomi's hand? Why did I reach out in the first place? The worst part about this is, that September trying to save someone may have just ended our life together. How can I not be in love with someone so selfless? I can't even blame Naomi, because she is right. I do use her as a scapegoat for some of my stupid and rash decisions, but she is one of the leading causes. Because of her I can't love September properly, and I feel like I'm already cheating just by touching Naomi. And in a way, I am. Because I still love her, I always have. I made a decision this morning to propose, and to get Naomi out of my head and hopefully my life. But now, I'm second guessing it, and talking to Naomi about it? Fuck this. I'm sticking with my decision.

"No. I... No Naomi. I proposed, I'm going to do this. We are over, and always will be."

My mind is made up, and I am going to learn how to be with September. Because I already know how to, we have been for the last few years. And it's always been comfortable, loving, and genuine. So this is it, this is my goodbye to Naomi for good.

She looks confused by my outburst, and that's probably because she doesn't know why I just brought us up again, out of the blue.

"Emily, I know..." Yup. Definitely confused.

"Look, just talk to her about what you're feeling, okay? If you don-"

"Fuck you Campbell, you don't want me to use you as an excuse? Well I'm fixing that all right now. Stay the fuck away from me, okay?"

And with that, I get off the chair and storm off to the front door. "Oh, do tell my fiancé that I'm waiting outside for her, yeah?" I shoot over my shoulder, and I slam the door behind me. _I guess in times of extreme turmoil, I turn into Katie. You learn something new everyday I guess._

September POV

Effy still says nothing, and just stares at me like I'm the reason she was freaking out in the bathroom or something._ Fuck, I only met you last night, how can this be my fault? _I go to say something else when she says simply:

"You know they still love each other"

"Yes..." Simple, but to the point.

"So are you going to say yes?"

"...I don't know"

She looks at me, as if waiting for me to say more. And when I don't, she sighs and says "Okay, fine. Tell me why you don't know"

"Are you always this aloof? Just a moment ago I had to talk you off the ledge"

She shakes her head and crosses her arms, looks down to her feet and says "Shit. Now I get it." She looks back up to me, eyes me up and down, and says with a smirk "It's like looking into an obnoxious little mirror"

"Uhm... we're the same height..."

She cuts in "Okay, so you want to say yes, but fear that she won't be happy; so your contemplating saying no?"

_Fucking mind reader much?_

"Well if you knew the answer, why'd you even bother to ask the question?" I ask plainly.

She shrugs "Because I'm curious. You must know they are meant to be together, don't you?"

I can't help but find this extremely ironic, considering the fact that she was just contemplating suicide over being afraid of love.

"You are a walking contradiction, do you know that?" I ask.

She sighs "Look, I'm just being honest with you, okay? You know it too, because we talked about it last night. You know Naomi loves her and you said yourself that Emily still loves her back. So why put yourself in the middle of this?"

I'm getting angry now. "I didn't put myself in the middle of ANYTHING. I met Emily in New York. She asked me to move back to the UK with her. SHE asked me to marry her. What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"I told you already" She says simply

"Which is what exactly?"

She looks me straight in the eye this time and says "You need to leave them be."

**Cliff hangers. I love them. And I'd like to think I'm getting better at them, no? Well to be fair, this isn't as much of a cliff hanger as it is more of a bridge chapter... And I'm going to be honest and explain to you why it took so long for me to update. I re-wrote this chapter probably 6 times, 6 different ways. And I'm still not happy with this one. But, I have to let it go and move on, because the real Skins Fire is coming out soon, and once we all see what is actually going to happen, my story will just become irrelevant. **

**Thank you for reviewing, every single one means a lot to me guys, so review away okay! Even if it's just one or two words!**

**xo Violet**


	16. Chapter 16

**Wow guys, some really amazing reviews I've received from you. Seriously, your reviews are all that keeps me going to write this story. St4rgazerr, you make me LAUGH OUT LOUD. And to the lovely bazuka74, I promise I won't make you 'hunt me down like a dog' because your review has encouraged me to write this next chapter. I can't exactly give a shout out to everyone, because it would just take up too much space :****( **

**So, as always, thank you for taking the time to review, and I have taken to writing another chapter with a few different POV's, since you all seemed to love it so much. Enjoy ;)**

Effy POV

So about a week and a half ago, I had an episode. I don't remember much of anything, but Naomi says I locked myself in the bathroom with a kitchen knife. The only thing I remember is Naomi telling me she ran into Emily somehow... It's all a little foggy. And these new meds they put me on haven't been helping. The doctor said the prescription I was on stopped working, that I had built up some kind of immunity to it over the last year. How the fuck can you build up an immunity to smiley pills? Naomi has been sheepish for a while now, being overly cautious and not making too much eye contact with me; like if she does I'll somehow shatter into a million pieces. I know she's worried, but it's weighing on my last nerve. So, after spending the quietest hour of my life planted in front of the telly watching re-runs of Misfits with this increasingly irritating version of my best mate, I've had enough; I get off the sofa and head into the kitchen to make some tea.

"Eff..." She begins.

_Fuck sake._

"I'm just making some tea" I toss over my shoulder.

As I'm mucking about in the kitchen, Naomi saunters in and rests herself against the doorframe, arms crossed around her chest. I'm not in the mood to talk about it, I honestly couldn't even if I wanted to. I hear her take a deep breath behind me before she speaks.

"Eff? look, I know you've got... stuff... going on but I-"

"Naomi" I cut in. I really, don't want to talk about this.

She comes over to me and places her hand on my shoulder, spinning me around so I can face her. "I really need you to hear me, okay? I... I need to talk and I need you..."

Okay, I'm confused. And I know that's not right, I'm never confused; and Naomi is so bloody readable. _These new pills must be off. _So we sit down at the kitchen table, and she starts to run her fingers along the edge of the place mat strewn across it. It was her idea, putting a piece of bright red fabric with patterns on it over a table. She said it would make it more 'homey', as she put it. I didn't care enough to argue, and I've since found it a bit useful to hide my spliffs under if I'm caught off guard. Well, that and I like to make little doodles with my sharpie on the table and hide them underneath it. If she saw them there she'd probably kill me. _Wow, attention span of a newt. These pills are definitely off. _

"So, I know you're going through stuff but... you're okay now, yeah?"

"Yes, Naomi" _Well, kind of._

"Right. Well It's just, Emily... I feel bad. You know, for still being in love with her"

A little flash of memory comes back to me then, something about the girl I met at the bar a little while back. It must have been a dream I had, because she was saying something about being engaged to Emily. And Emily was in our kitchen? I know that's never happened. I haven't seen a Fitch in years. Naomi speaks again, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"She's with someone really good now, you know? ...Eff?"

"What?" I ask, clearly having a hard time concentrating.

"You met her, she's the one who talked you out of the bathroom"

"Who is?" I ask

"Emily's fiancé?" Naomi replies.

_Well kick me in the ass with a spiked boot. That was real?_

"Right..." I say "Emily was here too..."

"Yeah" She replies cautiously. "You remember, don't you?"

"Yeah yeah" I wave her off "go on" _Lie. _

"Okay well-"

"I think I kissed her" I blurt out, clearly missing the social construct of waiting until someone is finished speaking before you open your big yap.

Naomi stares at me in shock. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, and I can't help comparing her to a fish. I start to see little oxygen bubbles coming out of her mouth and floating above her face like she is under water, and I hear little popping bubble sounds in my head. _Okay, that's it. I'm going back to the doctors. _I snap out of my Finding Naomi daze and am welcomed by the sight of Naomi actually being at a loss for words. I must have been out of it for a while, because after some time of staring at me she squeaks out:

"You... you kissed, Emily?"

_Oh, so that's what she was thinking._

"What? No, I kissed the girl she's marrying"

She furrows her brow at me and asks sharply "You, what? When?"

I shrug.

I see something click in Naomi's expression, because her face contorts into a big O. _Ha, the big O. Orgasm. Oregano. Origami. Hey, that's fun to say, Origaaami... What the fuck is wrong with me? _

"Wait," She holds her hands up "So you're telling me, that September is the girl you met at the bar that night?"

I nod.

She shakes her head in disbelief, and lets it fall into her hands before saying a muffled,

"This is just too fucking much."

'

'

September POV

How I ended up living on the couch of Katie Fitch is beyond me. Here's to hoping everything happens for a reason, because right now, I feel like total shit. It's like I'm in the middle of some really bad trip, with Emiliana Torrini screaming at the top of her lungs that I've fallen down the rabbit hole. My head is pounding, because I'm not accustomed to the dampness this side of the world brings. The sun hasn't poked it's head out in what feels like weeks and I'm starting to lose weight because I'm not eating... well, at all. I have a backpack with a few changes of clothes, some hair products, but that's about it. I sleep on a pull-out couch that I can only guess has been used by the twins' younger brother James, because when I pulled out the mattress, there was an issue of 'Fanny's Weekly' with some exceptionally hard pages stuck together in it. But, I can't complain, because this was my decision. I'm the one who left, I'm the one who couldn't stick around because I needed space. I don't know if you've ever tried it, but getting over a Fitch is extremely difficult, even if it's for the best. She's been very sweet throughout all of this though, Katie. She opened her home to me and makes me horribly burnt coffee every morning before she goes to work. This morning though, she is exceptionally cheery.

"Good morning babes, come on, up you pop!" She reaches her hand out to me, so I reluctantly take it and am sprung to my feet.

"There we are! Right. Do you have any normal clothes?"

"Uhm... What?"

"Well, you know. Clothes that arn't all edgy and like, ripped. Got a plain tee in there you could throw on or something?"

I take a mental inventory of my clothes while still being confused as shit, but I manage to remember I brought along a couple plaid shirts with me. "Uh, well I have some plaid..."

"Any writing on them?" She inquires, squinting at me like I'm on trial for murder.

"Well, there's one... no writing, but it has a fluer de lis on the back... it's not that noticeable..."

She's satisfied at least. "Right, okay. Pull that on, because you're coming into work with me"

Wait, what? She works for her mother, and I've never even met the woman I've only ever heard described as Cuntzilla; not to mention that I was just recently 'engaged' to her daughter. So I start to protest "Um, Katie? I uh... Well, I'd much prefer not to work at a wedding shop... you know, on the account tha-" She cuts me off mid-sentence with a rebuttal.

"Oh, no silly. We're going to my dad's gym. He needs someone to do reception, and since you needed some cash, I told him you'd do it. Plus, you know how much my dad loves you"

Right. Rob Fitch. Another person deeply affected by the latest series of events. I ended up telling Katie the truth about everything, because I couldn't bring myself to say it to Emily. This needs to be as quick and painless as possible, and the less words that pass through me and Emily, the better. I told Katie about how Emily would occasionally bring up Naomi in conversation the whole duration of our time together. I told her how every time Emily did that, it felt like she was trying to reassure herself of something. How I've always felt sub-par for Emily, like her heart belonged elsewhere. I told Katie how I shouldn't have allowed myself to get so involved with Emily, but that I couldn't help it. And, I told her that I didn't do this because I wanted to, I did it because I knew Emily needed me to.

Katie must have read my mind, or at least picked up on my expression, because she puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes lightly "He... I told him. I'm sorry, I just... Look, it'll be alright, yeah? I'm here for you and I told dad not to bring anything up"

Fuck it. I have to do something. So I give her a small smile, rifle through my bag and take out that shirt. I hold it up to her, just to make sure it's acceptable, and am awarded with a brief nod and a retreating form of Katie. She shouts over her shoulder "And hurry up! the coffee won't stay warm much longer!"

Her voice is muffled through the wall now "_I made it bloody ages ago... I don't know how anybody drinks that rubbish anyways..._" Well, fuck me. She doesn't like coffee either? Oh well. I've had to endure worse I guess.

I pull the shirt off I had for pyjamas, replace it with the approved wardrobe item and start to button up when I notice that I packed one of Emily's shirts by mistake. The shirt that we bought together on one of our many trips to Times Square. We ended up buying the same shirt, which is why I mistook it, but hers was an extra small; on the account of her being... well... kind of mini. It's a simple grey tshirt with black old english style writing on it that says 'The New York Times'. She thought it was a really touristy thing to want to buy at the time, but I knew she wanted it, so I bought it for her anyways. And, reluctantly, she made me buy one for myself too because she thought it suited my 'ironic' style. Whatever the hell that means. I pull it out of my bag and slowly bring it up to my face while internally scoulding myself for being so rediculous. I mean seriously, how fucked up is it that I smell the shirt, take in the scent of her, and think that is a perfectly sane thing to do? Katie comes back in and I know I'm caught, so why bother hiding it. She gives me a simpathetic smile, and I pull the shirt away from my face and hand it to her.

"Here, this is Emily's. I... I thought it was mine, we bought the same one and..." I sigh. "I wouldn't usually care but... well... it's a little small"

She takes it from me without breaking eye contact and says "Maybe keep it? Give it to her yourself? Maybe this is like, fleeting or whatever"

If only. "No, Katie. Believe me, I wish it was, but it's not. ...I shouldn't have lied-"

She cuts me off and snaps harshly "No! You did what you had to do, Okay? She's too stubborn otherwise."

'

'

_14 days earlier..._

"So what are you exactly, Naomi's team mascot? You know she wants Emily, so you're going to try to manipulate me into getting out of the way? You're seriously messed up Effy. My life with Emily has nothing to do with you or Naomi"

I don't think I've ever snapped like this before, but here I am, practically launching my words at Effy like tiny blades of glass. She takes a deep breath, and says

"I know Emily, okay? We grew up together... Look. I'm just trying to save yo-"

"I don't need saving" I interject.

"Fine" She says "Then be prepared"

This chick seriously knows how to push my buttons now. "Prepare for what, exactly?"

"For everything to turn to shit"

It's this, her simple sentence, that I don't quite know how to take. Was this a threat? I don't think so... then why do I feel threatened? I can hear Naomi walking into the hall now, towards the room me and Effy are standing awkwardly in. She peeks her head in, and says in a timid voice "...Hey guys.. is everything okay?"

"Yeah" I manage to croak out, but for some reason I still have my eyes on Effys', like if I look away I'll lose some kind of stand-off.

"Okay..." She speaks again. "Uhm, Emily, she uh... well, she left. Said to tell you she'll be waiting downstairs?"

This is my que to leave. Let Naomi deal with this girl, she clearly has more patience than I do right now. I give Naomi an aknowledging nod and leave the apartment.

As I come to the foyer, I see Emily outside the doors leaning against the big glass window, smoking a cigarette. So I walk outside, lean against the wall beside her and say "You wouldn't happen to have another one of those, would you?" She looks up at me, gives me a weak smile, and pulls out another one from her coat pocket and gives it to me. Lighting it with one of the matches she pulls out from that same pocket, she leans back and blows the smoke up above her head like a rock star.

"I had an interesting talk with Effy" I begin

"I bet you did" She responds "We were never really close, me and Ef. Come to think of it, I didn't think Naomi was... But clearly I was wrong" She shrugs. I can't bring myself to respond, because I'm still so worked up about what that Effy girl said to me. It's strange, she wasn't this way lastnight. She was actually, nice. Sweet even. But the side of her I just witnessed, was like a dog marking it's territory. Or maybe her words just touched an extremely raw nerve, which made it feel like she was peeing on my leg.

"She told me I should prepare myself" I say.

She looks at me then, confusion and something else in her face. When I don't respond, she raises her eyebrow at me and says "...Yeah? Go on then"

I take a deep breath. "She seems to think you and Naomi belong together, and that I should prepare myself to lose you because it's 'destined' to happen" My use of airquotes meant for the upmost sarcasm. Little do I know that something big is about to happen.

"Sept... listen. I... _Shit_" She lets her cigarette burn and some ash is blown off and lands on her hand. It's as if this simple event causes her to take in her surroundings, and refrain from what she was about to say, because she speaks again.

"Let's go home, alright? We... we need to talk"

'

'

Emily POV

Who knew there could be so much tension in a 5 minute car ride home. There are a million things going on in my head right now, and I can't sort it out. I haven't been this girl in a long time, I've been strong. I've been sure, I've been confident. But for some reason, I've reverted back to 16 year old Emily. The one who was afraid to admit to Katie that I was the one who kissed Naomi, the one who hid her 'private' magazines away in a locked box under her bed. The one who used to get pissed on vodka alone in her room because she wasn't of age to drink in pubs or social outlets. I think, that this 'strong Emily' I thought I was, I think it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with September. I think, I've grown to rely on her, and not in a good way. I haven't built myself up the way I thought I did. I've left it up to her to build me up, and I've been kidding myself into thinking I could take credit for the person I've become. So, I need to fix this. Naomi was right, I need to sort this out with September. The person I am right now, is no good for anybody. I need some time alone to get myself back together, because it's pathetic that Naomi still has this... fucking hold on me. I can't even hold myself together after seeing her for mere hours since moving back to the UK. _Why am I fighting this so hard?_ I've never really been alone, on my own. So it's no surprise the first words out of my mouth when we get home is:

"I think we need to take a break"

I think if Sept wasn't as observant and clever as she is, she probably would have been completely thrown by my sudden decision. Let's face it, this morning I was madly in love with her and asked her to bloody _marry _me. And now, not 2 hours later, I'm telling her we need a break. Somehow, I think I'm the one who needs bipolar pills now.

"Sure..." is all she manages to say, before looking at her feet. She doesn't put up a fight, and for the first time she looks... defeated. Like, she can't say or do anything, becuase if she does; the universe will spontaniously combust. So she reaches up, scratches the back of her head and says

"...Take your time, sort it out... I... I just want you to be happy Em"

"You... You're not mad?" I enquire.

"No, I kind of expected this. I have been expecting it for some time now"

I'm confused, so I go to ask her what she's talking about when she suddenly blurts out "I can't marry you Em. I have feelings for someone else. That Effy girl... I met her last night and well... we kissed. I'm really sorry but I think we just need to be friends, okay?"

For some reason, I'm just not buying it. I know her, I know she would never cheat on me. So why the sudden lie? _It's extremely kind of her_. She walks over to me with big puffy eyes and grabs me tightly into a hug; and it feels like the end. It feels like the end of us, of all the things we've built ourselves to be. It's not bitter, it's not angry, it's horribly sad. But it feels like it has to happen. It feels like we're mutating into something we didn't expect, but I seem to be the only one somehow okay with it. Her mind is made up and I don't feel like arguing with her, because she knows me better than anyone. She knows what's going on in my head even when I don't. I hold her back tightly and start to cry myself, but I manage to keep together enough to ask her:

"Will you still stick around?"

"Yeah..." She whispers "I just need a little time is all"

'

'

_14 days later..._

It's been fourteen days since me and September took a break, and I'm ashamed to say it's not as bad as I thought. I seem to miss her presence a lot, like when I need someone to talk to, or someone to throw popcorn with me at the TV when that hot blonde girl on a random episode of Bedlam hops into bed with that wanna-be Justin Timberlake bloke. _Acting or not, I bet I could rock her world better than he ever could. _Not only that, but I'm also ashamed at the fact that the last week and a half have been filled with nothing but thoughts of Naomi. The way her brown hair gracefully frames her face, or the fact that her eyes seem bluer than ever now. She has changed a lot, and I hate myself for this, but I like it. Truthfully, I would always be a slave to the way I feel about Naomi Campbell; changes or not. But this, the grown up and mature version of Naomi... it makes my heart swell. All the anger and uneasiness that has been eating me up inside is because I don't want to love Naomi. It's like there's been a war going on inside my head, banging at the walls of my skull and shaking the cage to my brain. It's like a drug addict, they have to fight everyday to stay away from the high. Well, that's exactly what this is like. I became an arsehole and did incredibly stupid things because I was trying to somehow spite Naomi for showing up in my life again. But the fact that she congratulated me on my engagement, while I know full well that she is in love with me, is kind of... romantic in a way. The ultimate sacrifice. And it only makes things more intense for me.

I have been wandering around this flat that used to be lived in by a happy couple, and it's weighing heavy on my emotions. So, I deicide that I need to shower off the stench of dissatisfaction and go outside. I turn on the tap to the hottest setting and watch the rot slowly make its way off my body, and down the drain into the sewage from once it came.

I learn to accept it then, with the water washing over my like a wave. I accept that love I've always felt for Naomi, I accept that time heals all wounds and I accept, _thank fuck,_ that time also matures things; matures people. _Time fixes everything._

Once all remnants of water is dried off of me and my hair, I throw on my red and black wool sweater, cap my head in a black beanie, and head off into the bitter cold known as the world. I put my iPod on shuffle, and am instantly flooded with one of Septembers' rather ominous song choices.

_I will keep quiet You won't even know I'm here _

_You won't suspect a thing _

_Y__ou won't see me in the mirror _

_But I crept into your heart_

_ You can't make me disappear _

_'Til I make you_

There's something about her and finding the weirdest underground sounding music. Don't ask me how she finds this shit. As unusual as this song sounds, it's packed full with meaning, with emotion, and it's actually quite catchy. _Yeah well, so is aids _I think to myself.

I'm not quite sure where I'm going, but I go with the flow. Eventually, the cold gets too much for me to handle, and the guys driving by and 'accidentally' splashing me with slush from the road definitely hasn't helped much to keep me warm. So I turn the corner and smack face first into some girl. Of course, me being small and her being a freakin' giant, I fall flat on my ass. She mumbles a couple of swears under her breath, before getting to her feet and offering me her assistance. I take her hand, still brushing snow off my pants, and an instant sensation of heat and electricity screams through my body. I look up, and am face to face with the one and only Naomi Campbell. It's in this moment, that my mind is flooded with a memory I had since buried long ago. Trees, a small fire, and blowbacks flashed in my mind like a movie roll. I remember her then, her short blonde hair dangling just off her face. The way a small drop of water would fall ever so slightly from the tips of her hair. The oversized green jumper she wore that felt like old wool. The way she looked up at me after I convinced her to do blowbacks; how that simple look made me feel like I was struck by lightning. I remembered the way she tasted on my tongue, like cheap vodka with a slight hint of marijuana. How she had grabbed my arm tightly when I began to kiss her neck; and how I could feel the Goosebumps rise on her skin as I did so. How it started out as an awkward struggle around for who would gain control, who would end up on top, her trying it first but me deciding that wasn't going to happen. It seems so long ago when I think about it, but somehow I always feel like that teenaged girl, with butterflies waging war inside of her; around Naomi.

She suddenly becomes aware of who I am, and as her face turns from surprised to sheepish, before I have time to realize what I'm doing; I wrap my arms around her neck and attach my lips to hers.

_Jesus Christ, she still tastes like that cool autumn evening. _

**Huh. This was my favourite chapter to write so far, and coincidentally the longest. I hope it didn't feel too rushed, but I was getting a little impatient myself for a bit of our favourite couple. So, the wait for Naomily wasn't too rough a time for you? I know 16 Chapters feels like a lot but... Come on! I was quick about it yeah? And I'm sorry, but I had to do a Lily cameo in there... Kat already had hers!**

**Oh! Before I forget! Are there any gamers out there? Like, at least one of you? ... I'm seriously considering writing another fic using The Last of Us game plot... This game is seriously epic you guys. It came out here last Friday and I've already beat it 3 times. **

**Have an awesome weekend guys :) **

**...I mean gals.**

**Violet xo**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey all of you incredibly awesome people out there reading my fanfic :) Did you have a great weekend? I am so freakin' sore! ...Okay, wait. From hiking, nothing else!**

**I can't possibly find the words to thank you for reviewing, favourite-ing my story, following... and I've come to see that many of you have even gone so far as to mark me as your favourite author; which is a monumental honour. So, since I can't find the right words to thank you (ironic, considering I am now submitting to you my 17th chapter) here is my thank you in the form of another chapter. **

Naomi POV

If someone had told me that I was going to get kissed by Emily Fitch while going for a quick coffee run, I would have laughed in their face. But, I would have been made the fool if that were the case. Because I did, I did go out for a coffee run at the insistance of Effy and I did smack into her. In every sense of the phrase; literally. I reached my hand out to help up the girl I had so foolishly knocked over while being lost in my thoughts, coincidentally of said girl, and before I knew it I was kissing lips I never thought I'd be able to kiss again. Every sensation I felt in that simple embrace was enough to cause an explosion. The combat between hot and cold, the air was frigid but she was as warm as that fire we sat in front of long ago. Her lips have gotten softer somehow, gentler. Our lips fit together perfectly as they always have, and I can't help my mind from running around in a million directions as we kiss.

The thing is, I've been coasting. I have spent the last few years living as someone I don't know, as someone I've never cared for. I reverted back to the girl who kept everyone at arms length, didn't let love in, and didn't care about... well, anything. Sure, me and Ef are the exception, but that's only because she can never hurt me. And, to be honest, it's easy to just be me with her. To do or say the things that I want; because I know it's impossible to hurt that Stonem. It's not just her name that is made of stone. The girl is an enigma, and that's the reason I couldn't ever hurt her; because she isn't like everyone else. She runs on a completely different wave length and I'm not evolved enough to inflict pain on her supirior being.

I haven't even spoken to my mother, which is heartbreaking concidering we were actually starting to become close again. She always told me, and I quote: 'you could never understand love or pain until you become a mother'. But the reality, I understand completely. I understand that she gave birth to this baby, this little being that was an extention of her heart and soul. She watched me grow from poopy diapers to crawling wars, from first words to the first day of school. I know that she worried about me everyday, wether it be when she was called into school to find that I had punched my bully or sassed my teacher. I know she watched me go from being utterly reliant on her and idolising her, to finding her irritating and wanting nothing to do with her. How I had turned 13 and just shut her out. She lost her best friend. Now granted, communal living was utter bollocks, but she is her own person; and I admire her for never loosing herself as I have. But, just as I left Emily when things were improving, I left my mother too. Again. And the worst part about it is, both women will always greet me with love no matter what I've done to them.

Emily knocked sense back into me, and showed me that I had no reason to be such a fucking angsty teenager. I had a mother who loved me even when I was being a twat, a mother who had no problem with me being gay. I lived in a home, not a shack or on the street, and I grew up with love. So, everything I had built myself up to be when I was with Emily; I left behind. Because I couldn't do it on my own, I wasn't strong enough. I think I'm the weakest person in the world, because I need Emily to be my proper self. I don't have the strength to be me on my own, and that is utterly rediculous. I'm like mother nature, disguising my weaknesses as strengths. Wearing armour that is big, bulky and buffed up to glisten in the sun, but is actually as strong as wax paper. So it's no surprise that when Emily made her way back into my life, I tried desperately to keep her at a distance, because that's what I'm good at. But this time, it wasn't to protect myself, it was to protect _her._ But, as I've always known, Emily is strong, and she will always be herself; never to falter. She makes her own decisions and does what she wants, what she feels is right. So there must be a good reason why she is kissing me, because she is like... clever.

The feel of her on my lips is enough to make me crumble, but my actions show the opposite because instead of my knees buckling, which is believeably a more likely scenario; I end up wrapping my arms around her tiny waist and lifting her up off the ground like Ryan Gosling did to Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love. If she is surprised, she doesn't show it, because she just wraps her arms around my neck and moves into me. And it feels like sculpture, how you can force water onto wet clay and make a bowl out of it. We stay like this for what feels like an eternity, though I am far from complaining. Any onlookers would probably think she was a cripple who lost her wheelchair or something, because I still have her lifted in the air like a tsunami is forming beneath her feet.

She breaks away from me, and must see the fear in my face. Because I am scared, I'm scared I've fucked everything up, that I've managed to hurt people again just by being me, that I will continue to hurt people; like a never ending cycle. So it comes as a surprise when she closes her eyes, shakes her head, and says a simple:

"Don't you dare"

"...What?" I splutter, because let's face it. I was just in the middle of a snog from heaven.

"This is simple Naomi, don't complicate it."

I'm confused, so I place her back down on the ground slowly, but don't break the contact by removing my arms. "How would I complicate it? I think it's already complicated enou-"

"Here" She starts, placing one hand firmly on my chest as if to keep me in place. "I'll explain this to you, okay?"

Nod. _She still hasn't removed her arm from around my neck._

"Concider this... a deal."

"Come again?"

"You made a deal with the devil here, Naomi. You got what you always wanted, and now I, the devil; am here to collect." She says this with one of her eyebrows raised that is a paralysing mixture of seduction and confidence.

_What the hell is she talking about?_

"Okay..." I start "What are you collecting?"

"Well" She explains "The devil usually takes your soul, but since I'm not _literally_ the devil, I'll take an 'I owe you' instead"

I raise an eyebrow "And what exactly do I owe you?"

She looks into my eyes, and says with the upmost conviction "Proof that you deserve me. That you have changed, that I haven't just thrown it all away for someone who isn't worth it. I need you to show me that we belong together, just like I showed you all those years ago. It's my turn Naomi, I think you owe me that, kiss or not. And you'll never get another one until you've done it. Savvy?"

_Holy shit, it's in the cards for me to get another one?!_

She's right, I do owe her. I owe her big time and she deserves this. She's never asked me for anything, except to be brave. And that's hardly unfair, is it? This isn't about me deserving her, because I've never felt like I have and I could never prove that. This is about me stepping up, and working at something for the first time in my bloody life. And it's not a bad feat, because it'll be for something important, some _one _important.

"How do I do that?" I ask.

_As if she is going to tell you. You're lucky you even got a kiss you wanker. _

She smiles then, and I can't help but get lost in her scent. The one I remember from so long ago. I'll bet she still uses the same shampoo, the one she knew that I liked so she would buy 2 or 3 at a time. Or maybe it's the perfume that I bought her once that she took a surprisingly heavy liking to. Whatever it is, it feels like coming home.

"You could start with a date" she smirks.

_Huh. I wasn't expecting that._

"Do you mean like, a clean slate?" I ask.

She shrugs. "That's up to you"

I think about it then, do I really want to wipe away all the memories? Sure, the ones of me being a cock will be gone, but all the good ones will be gone too. And those are some of the only things that keep me together. That at one time, I was capable of nurturing something bigger than myself. That I was capable of love, and I was lucky enough to have it in my life.

"No" I shake my head, finally settling the inner battle of wits in my mind.

"I don't want to start over. All that we are, it's still special. I just need to remove the bile is all"

She nods in agreement, and smiles sweetly at me. "That's a good start"

Somehow during our time together I manage to send out a text to Effy - using my free hand of course, since the other one is tangled up in Emily's feeling safe and at peace - mostly an apology because she is just as bad as me when it comes to a caffeine fix, thumbing out quickly:

_Ef, bumped into Emily... I need your help. She wants a redemption date, help? - N _

I don't have to wait long for the shortest reply on the planet:

_No Coffee then. - E_

It may be finished with a period, but it is definitely a question. Well, her version of one anyway. _Fuck Effy. Always coffee before romance with you._

_Sorry. - N_

I can practically hear her sigh at that text, and I'm sure it's now a twin thing we share where we know what the other is feeling. _I wonder if our mensies have synced up too... Fuck, gross. _

My phone buzzes again, and Effy is as aloof as ever, yet insightful at the same time. Though I wish she could just TELL me what to do, I guess it's up to me.

_This is you're last day on earth with Emily Fitch. Do what you feel you should do with one day left. - E_

_'_

_'_

Katie POV

I don't know what to do. I know September is hurting, and I know the fact that me and Emily are twins in the full sense isn't helping. I've grown to love her as a sister, and it hurts to see her hurt, you know? She was really good for Em, and I hate the fact that my stupid sister can't let go of that emotionally retarded bottle blonde. Sept tried to explain it to me, said something about true love and inability to control how you feel, but that's utter bollocks, innit? Anyone can get over anything with the right person.

I enter the flat, and I hear silence. Which is strange, because if living with Sept for the past couple weeks has taught me anything; it's that she hates silence. _She must be out, _I think to myself.

She's always either got music on, or is playing guitar with headphones on and a stack of papers infront of her; scribbles covering up every bare white spot. I've tried to talk to her, and tell her not to use her headphones because she's actually quite brilliant at playing, that I like to listen to the sound _believe it or not_. But she says that she likes the intimacy of it, the fact that the music slowly makes its way like an electrical current from the guitar, through the amp, and speeds up the chord through the headphones and only into her ears gives her some kind of inner understanding. I've never been creative, so I guess i'll have to take her word for it. Though, when I pout and beg she will play a bit for me. I feel like a groupie sometimes, because I just sit there in awe when she does. I swear any outsider watching us, well... watching me, would make me lose all self respect entirely.

She always skulks in with one of her guitars - usually the thick wood one with a big hole in the middle of it that doesn't need to be plugged in, and stickers from god knows where plastered all over it - and sits down on the ottoman across from me. _Yes, I am usually sprawled across the couch when I get home, my bloody dogs are tired working all day in lush heels! _I instinctively sit up, cross my legs in front of me and rest my elbows on my knees, hold my head in my hands; and just watch. It's really surreal, you know? Some piece of wood with strings tied to it, in the right hands, can either make you smile, think, laugh; even cry.

Last night was one of those times, when the simplest thing makes you fall apart. Made me fall apart. Makes you feel things inside that you didn't even know were there. Like attending a therapy session, where the doctor tells you that you're inability to feel love is rooted in childhood trauma. I had asked her to play me a song and she started slowly strumming, and singing softly:

_All those arrows you threw, you threw them away_

_You kept falling in love and then one day_

She was playing differently, she used her fingers instead of that triangular plectrum thing, and it made it sound even sadder. She alternated between her thumb and forefinger, and continued:

_When you fell, you fell towards me_

_When you crashed in the clouds, you found me_

I felt my eyes well up then, while internally scoulding myself for feeling like this. Katie fucking Fitch doesn't cry, so why am I about to? Why does this not only mirror her torment, but mine as well? I've been fine on my own, I like it. I don't have to do anything for anybody, I can do what I want when I want, so why do I feel so lonely? This girl infront of me, strumming away and quietly breathing out -

_If you want me to break down and give you the keys_

_I can do that but I can't let you leave_

- She is the one who can cry, is allowed to cry. I need to be strong, I'm always strong. But with her simple song that feels like utter heartbreak, I crumble. And not in the over dramatic way everyone else does, in the way that only I can; I let that single tear fall.

She looks up at me then, stops playing, and somehow manages to smile at me. And it makes me feel even worse, because she is now being strong for me. She is the one dying inside and has to console me. It doesn't seem to bother her, because she leans the guitar against the ottoman she was once sat on and sits next to me; and I'm immediately surrounded by her arms. She is hugging me, and I let her. For some reason, she is the only one who I've ever allowed this kind of intimacy with, and coincidentally the only person who has ever offered her arms around me as comfort.

**I hope you liked it :) I know it's short, but I really, really liked how it turned out. I had a hell of time trying to write it, but it turned into my favourite chapter. I think that song Sept sings captures the mood between them perfectly so I felt the need to use it. A little Katie insight for you, because as bitchy as she is, she is still just as deep and misunderstood as the rest of us, you know? **

**Oh, one more thing. I have a plan for this story, and I'm gonna need a little help and inspiration for one of the following chapters. Does anyone out there have any suggestions for a redeemable date? Naomi can't screw this one up guys, there's so much riding on it! **

**See you soon, **

**Violet**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys! Very quick update for you since I got crazy inspired last night and wrote another chapter. I usually would have waited a few days to post - 'cause I love to read your reviews first - but I loved it so much I figured I'd just do it now. Oh, and I'm not sure if many of you have listened to the songs featured in the chapters when reading, I just assume everybody copies the lyrics into Google and listens to the songs like I do... Anyways, if you haven't been doing that (which you should hehe) you need to do that for this chapter. Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups. **

September POV

I slipped out today, I couldn't stand being in Katie's apartment much longer. Oh wait, they call them flats here... Whatever. The point is, there were too many pictures and familiarities there for me to handle. They like the same tea, they eat the same cookies, they even have some of the same little quirks; Em and Katie. And as much as Katie hated to admit it, I know she missed Emily. I think, just as much as I did. There were many pictures of them together hung around the flat, and I've never once seen one with her and someone who wasn't family. It was strange, seeing Katie be 'family oriented'. I hadn't gotten the vibe from her that she was close to her family, or in this case her mom. Never the less, all the pictures of the twins smiling together, and one of her visits to New York in particular; was enough to drive me insane. It was one of all three of us, Katie had visited over Christmas and we decided to take Katie on one of those horse buggy rides through Central Park. She loved it, for reasons I'm still not quite sure of, and decided to take one of those cheesy 'hold the camera above your head so you're double chin doesn't show facebook pictures' of us. I didn't mind it, but that moment in time where Katie is smiling like a loon, Em is looking at me like she's about to burst out laughing, and I'm looking back at Emily with a genuine smile; let's just say it makes things harder.

I had gone back to that bar I met that girl Effy at a few times, and got to know the owner. He was rough, but actually kind of nice. The place played music that I liked, and I noticed they had a kind of mini-stage. He told me that they hold live sets there every Friday, so I had decided to ask the guy if I could play there tonight. He graciously agreed, so before I headed out to the bar, guitar in one hand and amp in the other; I scribbled a little note to Katie on the fridge mirror.

_Hey, went out to do a bit of a show at Emarosa's, come out if you want. Set starts at 9 - S_

'

'

When I arrived, there wasn't many people at the bar. I was glad for that, but still decided to take a nerve easing shot of Whiskey just to be sure. _When did I start using alcohol to cure my anxiety? _As I'm setting up, this guy with a big scruffy beard and a black Sick Puppies tshirt comes over and asks me if I want any help; _among other things_. Guys are never very subtle, obviously, but over here I don't think it's as much about subtlty as it is about being blunt. So, I had to be blunt back, kindly turn down his help offer, and tell him as gently as I could that I didn't want to 'willy waggle' as he put it. He laughed, asked me if I was a lesbian - which I aknowledged - and he went back about his buisness shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath. I turn my attention back to my insane amount of electrical chords, when I see a familliar pair of converse standing off to the left of my perriferal. I want to ignore it, but my brother didn't raise me with a rude bone in my body. So I look up, and am looking into familliar blue eyes. I'm surprised to see that they arn't flashing with smugness like they were last time we met, but that doesn't mean I'm going to greet her with a hug either. So I just give her a small smile, followed by a nod and go back about my buisness. I see her shoes, laces flipping about with every step she takes, until she rests her knees on the floor beside me. I look up then, and she is still looking at me. I know she isn't about to say anything, like this is her desperate attempt at a mimed apology, so I just point to her left and say:

"Could you pull over that plug for me?"

She smiles then, and does as I ask without saying a word. And it's strange, feeling like we're having an entire conversation in our heads; just the two of us. But, I'm hardly aprude to the idea, because everyone is complicated. Everyone has and shows different sides, my curiousity lies within wondering which one that I've witnessed is the true one. She pulls the chord over to me, and I give her a small "Thanks" before lowering my head again. I see her sit back on her legs, and look around at my 'masterpiece' of a mess I've created, wires everywhere, stool in the middle, mic on the floor and my amp placed firmly next to it. She speaks for the first time in what sounds like days, because her voice cracks as she says "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." And I know she is talking about our last encounter, and the fact that Emily and I are no longer an item. And it sucks, having to be openly reminded, because at least Katie doesn't actually _say _it. I shrug at her, and instinctively my face tightens into a meek smile, because it's the only thing I can manage. She scans the room again, and rocks effortlessly back onto her knees again, before she leans into my ear and whispers:

"You'll be fine babe, I have faith in you."

And with that, she is gone. Like a ghost, that only I've seen. She moves about like no one can see her, and in all honesty I don't think anyone can unless she wants them to. She disappears into the crowd, and for some reason I'm frozen. I haven't moved from the spot where I kneel, and eventually it's Katie that brings me out of my bewilderment enduced haze.

"Babes, Hey! I'm not too late am I? I just got home and read your note"

"No" I smile "You're not late. I'm almost done. Have a seat, I'll be starting in a few minutes"

She looks around awkwardly for a seat, and says tentativly "You couldn't have picked a nicer bar, hun?"

_I've Gotta hand it to her, she really hates being out of her element._ I playfully squeeze her shoulder and point to a stool next to the stage.

"Sit!" I nod towards it.

"Ugh, fine! But if I like, catch rabis from a rusty nail or something, it's on you"

_Oh, Katie. I love you sometimes._

"Tetnus" I reply playfully.

She shoots me a confused look, and goes to speak again when I motion over to the stool again and say quickly "You're gonna make me late! Just, go sit you goof"

She smiles and shakes her head at me - in the way only Katie knows how to do - before she quickly wipes her hand across the seat, which makes her instinctively wipe her hand on her expensive blouse; before taking a hesitant seat on the barstool. I do a quick sound check of the mic, which lets out one of those irritating sqreeching noises, and my guitar. Everything is up to par, so I move the stool off to the side of the stage, fling my guitar strap over my head, and position the mic to the proper height. I take a deep breath, and I find myself scanning the bar for someone; though I don't know for whom or why.

'

'

Effy POV

Naomi is a twat. Not only did she never return from promising me caffeine, but she bailed on our plans tonight. We were supposed to go out together, but of course she had to bump into Emily Fitch. I mean, seriously. Britain is a big place, how the fuck do they keep 'running into' each other? I'm actually shocked that Emily was giving Naomi another chance to be honest. I thought it was rather quick, concidering she had been with this other girl for the better part of the last three years. That's why I don't allow people in, because they fuck you over; even if they don't mean to. I know Emily, I know she is a sweetheart, but I just don't agree with it. What good is living if you leave a trail of dead behind you?

Being alone with little time to prepare for the silence of it, I decide to head out to one of my favourite pubs. They have live shows every Friday and I quite enjoy it. Sometimes they have shitty pre-pubescent androgenous teenagers jumping around the stage with their acne about to pop at any second; but sometimes they have good shows too. A few years back I got to see Ed Sheeran preform here, before he got famous of course.

I push open the doors to the pub, walk right up to the barman and send him a little wink so he knows what I want. I come here so often that I'm concidered a regular, and I seem to have stuck in the barmans' head because I'm sure to be the only one here that orders a non-alcoholic beverage. I can't drink anymore, because it's dangerous to mix it with my medication. I feel better now, I went back to the doctors and am now happily seeing the world normally again. Though, I do miss my little emo pirate duck friends that used to follow me around, they were quite entertaining.

I look around and see a girl hunched over the stage, fiddling with something. Then, I see some big burly guy stumble up to her and he looks like a big bear, sniffing around a campsite looking for something to either eat or shag. I assume he is turned down, because he wanders off, scratching his beard like an ape and mumbles 'fucking lesbians' under his breath.

_Ha, he was rejected. Tosser._

I walk over to the girl, because let's face it. If she's hot, I'm in the mood for a good snog, and utterly irrisistable to the population. Then, I register who she is. FuckingWankShite, its September. I know Emily is out of the picture, or at least I hope she is since I have insider information that she is currently pre-occupied on a date with Naomi. So, my empathy getting the best of me, I walk over to her. She sends a weak smile my way, before busying herself again, I and crouch down next to her.

I still don't get it, she is utterly resistant to me, because as she looks up at me; the 'I want to fuck your brains out' face that is incessantly plastered on everyone's face that I come in contact with is non-exhistant. I want to slap myself in the face when the words "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." come out of my stuipid mouth, because it is too many words. they mean too much for my liking. I just apologised for our meeting that I still can't quite recall, I apologised for the way things ended up with her and Emily, and I apologised for the fact that she is here while Emily is off with Naomi. _Rub it in her face, why don't you. _But, she just smiles at me and asks me to pass her a power chord, which feels like her way of resolve. I'm not used to these kind of interactions, where I'm knocked off my A game. People are simple, people are easy. They're transparent, but for some reason - to me - September is as opaque as a brick wall. And it makes me uncomfortable. So, I do the only thing I know how to do, I lean in to her, and whisper into her ear. It starts out as a desperate attempt at regaining some control by trifling with her, and turns into sincierity as I husk out the words "You'll be fine babe, I have faith in you".

Before she has time to react to my confession, I'm long gone. I don't know why I just did that, and I'm not about to hang around to hear her question what the fuck is up with me. Because I do have faith in her, I have faith that she is going to be okay, that she is strong and is going to pull through. But I never say things like that, I never strip my words down so they are raw and bare, because that just leaves **me** raw and bare. I grab another drink, as if the cool bubbly sensation of Fizzy Vimto is going to somehow calm my nerves.

I chance a quick look in the direction I left September, and see she is about ready to preform. I am extremely curious as to her talants, so I inch my way closer to the stage. As I move, I notice her looking around the room. Her eyes scan, until they fall on me. She lets out a crooked smile then, and turns on her guitar to full blast.

"This song belongs to Silversun Pickups, I hope you enjoy"

She starts to strum and the fuzzy distorted tone floods out into the room, silencing any conversations around. I move around people, closer and closer, and I imagine I look somewhat like a vulture; stalking and getting closer with each passing breath. She strums heavier on the guitar now, making the sound fill all the empty space that was left around the room. She starts to belt out some lyrics, and the sound iminating from her mouth is a surprisingly scratchier tone than I had been expecting. _I like it. _

_I've been waiting_

_I've been waiting for this moment all my life_

_But it's not quite right_

She steps back from the mic, takes a short time out from strumming so she can meticulously pick at a few strings, before moving swiftly back to the mic and flips the hair out of her eyes before continuing.

_And this 'real'_

_It's impossible if possible_

_At who's blind word_

_So clear but so unheard_

She steps back again - this time picking at several different strings faster this time - belts out a few more lyrics before I find myself standing right infront of her. Don't ask me how I got here, because I haven't the slightest clue. I don't realize at the time, but I start swinging my body in time to the music, slowly swaying with each passing beat while she plays along; and I notice the crowd is doing the same now. Some are bouncing up and down, and some are animatedly bobbing their heads. I haven't taken my eyes off her, and I'm lost completely when her voice changes from the soft husks to full out angry scratching:

_Lost and loaded!_

_Still the same 'ol decent lazy eye_

_Straight through your gaze!_

The crowd is full out jumping now, and I am fully aware I'm not blending in with the way I'm just standing here - head bobbing - and staring like a transfixed zombie.

_That's why I said I relate!_

_I said we relate,_

_It's so fun to relate!_

She steps back again, and is all smiles while she scans around the crowd of people bouncing about infront of her, as she plucks out another few strings quickly paced together. Her gaze fixes on me then, and she moves her face back to the mic without breaking eye contact with me before returning to her normal singing voice and manages a husky out-of-breath attempt at the last few words, eyes closed:

_I've been waiting _

_I've been waiting for this moment..._

***Relieved sigh* I love this chapter. Seriously. Love. How about you? You guys know how much I love reviews, so let me know, okay? Please? **

**And the booth is still open for those of you kind enough to give me some ideas for Naomi's redemption date. **

**Xo Violet**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys! 100+ reviews! I LOVE YOU. Seriously, I'm so glad people are enjoying this. **

**So, as you probably know, I love music. And I thoroughly enjoyed incorporating it into the last chapter, so I did it again. Because I wanted to. You're probably gonna want to check out the song too - Princeton Ave by Issues. As always, thanks for reading.**

**Hope you enjoy :)**

**Oh, PS! - Anyone seen the new scenes from Fire on Youtube? Am I allowed to say I'm disappointed in Naomi? :( I never expected Effy to be the adult between the two of them, I hope Emily smartens her up. Sorry. I just had to... yeah. Don't hate me ok? Look! New Chapter below! Now you can't be mad :D**

Naomi POV

"Do you miss her?"

"Yeah. More than anything."

"So, why did you break it off?"

She sighs. "I didn't, she did."

I'm shocked, because I know Sept adored the hell out of Emily. I'd say it was exactly on par with me. She sees the confusion in my face and speaks again, sighing as she does so.

"She said she couldn't marry me because she had feelings for Effy, and thought being friends was a better alternative."

I choke out my drink in shock, and I thank every god I could think of for shielding Emily from my response. _Though, this would be good news for Effy,_ I think. "Are you fucking- Really? Effy?!"

Emily looks down and replies calmly "She was lying, Naomi."

"Why?" It doesn't make sense. Why would she lie about liking Effy?

"I don't know. Because she is utterly amazing and I didn't deserve her. The point is, she is always like this."

She adds as an afterthought, "They could be fucking twins, you know."

"Who could?"

"She and Eff" Emily says. I start to realize that her calmness is more like, sadness. She looks up at me then, and smiles, as if remembering something. When she speaks, I know I was right.

"When we first met" She begins "It shocked the hell out of me, because she was beautiful. You know? She's got these eyes... she sees me. She could always see me." She leans back in her chair and brushes some strands of hair out of her face. You wouldn't think it, but that simple action sends chills down my spine.

"And I had never really noticed anyone else before. She was edgy and smart, witty and funny. Like you. She was brave, and I liked it. And she was a lot like Eff, she knows what's going on in my head when I don't. I remember once she even told me that you and I could be destined for each other, that it just wasn't the right time or something." She plays with the string from her tea bag before continuing. "But when she was around me... I don't know. She reminded me of myself a little, like way back when. Afraid of my own bloody shadow!" She laughs. "She was tentative, nervous. It was strange, seeing such a strong girl falter around me."

"What do you mean?" I ask. "You did the same thing to me"

She smiles at the memory, before putting her hand on mine and squeezing tightly before responding "You were a cunt about it, Naomi. She was different" I know she is taking the piss, and I don't take it personally. She was right after all, _I am a bit of a cunt sometimes._

I smile back at her after giving her one of my famous Campbell eye rolls, and nod for her to continue. She takes a breath before continuing.

"She helped me get over you. It was a tough go, it always was. But, I think if anyone could help; she'd be the best at it"

I start to apologize before she silences me again. "She has more love in her than I have ever seen. When we met, she hid it. She wasn't herself and I could tell she hated it. As much as she helped me, I realized that as she blossomed with me; I helped her too. And I will always love her, Naomi. You have to understand that."

"I do" I squeak out. I do, I get it. They really were great together, sometimes I think I was put on this earth to fuck up people's lives.

"If it makes you feel any better, when I came round that time... I thought I was going to get a threesome." I shrug. _Oh, Naomi. Always the comedian. _

It was Emily's turn to spit out her drink, though I wasn't as lucky; a bit of her drink landed on my arm. She grabs a napkin quickly and rubs at my sleeve before saying "What the fuck?!" really loudly. I'm pretty sure she woke the dead.

"'Course!" I laughed "She's well fit, and I thought I could turn on the charm, bring a bottle of wine, do a little convincing..."

She lets out a laugh at that, one of those deep ones that seem to resonate in the pit of your stomach.

"You are just as perverted as James, do you know that?"

I smirk "Yeah, I guess. But he always did wear more dresses than me."

We both laugh in unison, remembering the awkward time I had stopped by the Fitch home, only to be greeted by a sultry looking James Fitch wearing a silky red dress. Shame he was the one wearing it and not Emily._ If that were the case I probably would have had to run my hands up her legs and under the bottom hem of that dress..._

I'm brought out of my embarrassingly perverted fantasy with Emily waving her hands in front of my face, confusion evident in her features.

"He still asks after you, you know." She says after a moment.

"Did he ever meet Sept?" I ask, blissfully unaware of the answer.

"No" She bows her head. "I never had the courage to bring her round, though she never pushed. She was good like that."

"Yeah." Is about all I can manage.

It's quiet now, and suddenly a light bulb goes off in my head. I stand up, usher Emily to her feet, and let out an overly excited "Come on!" and take her hand. I know exactly what I'm going to do, though I don't know why I never thought of it before.

'

'

Katie POV

She was fucking brilliant. The crowd went insane, and I was shocked to hear the kind of sound that came out of her. Usually she is really soft when she sings - which I quite like - but this time she was so passionate. And there was this group of guys watching her while she played on stage. It made me nervous, but then I saw one of them holding a guitar case; so I assume it was just to appreciate the music. Either that or they wanted to try and pull her when she was done. _If that's the case, good luck fellas. _

She bowed to the crowd, and I see her face is beat red. She's blushing, and it's strange; because she was just so confident a second ago. She looks to me then, smirks, and sends me a little wink before she unplugs her guitar and heads off to the back of the pub._ What was that about? _I want to follow, but I notice a tingling sensation in my right forearm. I look up at the perpetrator of the feeling, when I am silenced completely. On the other end of that slender hand gripped lightly on my arm, is a beautiful woman. And not just any woman, I've seen her before. _At the airport, _I think to myself. So **that's **why she winked at me,_ thanks for the warning, September. _

"Hi, Katie" She says.

_You're still touching my arm. You remember my name? Why is it so hot in here? How did you get here? How did you find me? Why the fuck can't I remember your name?!_

Those guys from before have taken to the stage now, though one of them is missing. And I can hear that the pub has turned on some music, I guess to kill some time before these guys do their set. I hear some heavy guitar and a guy singing softly, flowing out of the ceiling speakers into the pub as people go about their business. Chatting up, flirting, playing pool; and of course drinking.

_Tell me why you left, tell me where you went_

_tell me why am I worth the lines_

_tell me all you want, keep me holding on_

_Tell me lies, tell me why_

"How's your tongue?"

I feel my eyes bug out of their sockets, because it feels as if I had just said aloud what my head screamed at me. _My tongue is fine, but I bet yours is soft and warm. _What the fuck!

And on cue, she laughs; and I really do question if I actually said that to her.

"You burnt it on _coffee_, remember? We met at the airport?"

I nod, and miraculously find the confidence to form a full sentence. "Yeah, I remember. I just can't remember your name." I smile sympathetically at her, because I really do feel bad.

_You won't stay, afraid to settle like ashes_

_You say you need a silhouette, and I'm a shadow standing in your way_

She full on laughs at this, slides her hand up my arm to my outside bicep - making people bumps form onto of my already existent Goosebumps - and lightly rests it on my shoulder and shakes it a little; playfully.

"That's because I never told you, Hun"

_Oh._

_I bet you find a millionaire and one of them will need you_

_and your silver hair when you've gone_

I raise my eyebrow at her, the sudden realisation hitting me as I remember that I'm Katie Fucking Fitch, this is my town, and I'm here with my friend if I need to get out of this. One quick pull on the photo of her and Em - and since we look identical - I can lie my way out of it if I need to and say Sept is my girlfriend. She'll play along if I need her to.

"So? Out with it then. Got one?" I push.

She smirks, probably impressed by my sudden bout of confidence, and replies "Yeah, I've got one. But where I came from, they didn't give names; they gave us numbers. Mine's 47"

I go to reply to this insane statement before I am cut off mid-open mouthed.

"That's from a videogame, and it's cheesy." A voice from behind me says, as if checking off from an imaginary checklist; and it sounds eerily familiar. The girl comes out from the shadows then, and I see none other than Effy fucking Stonem. _Christ Britain is fucking small. _

My... suitor... laughs at this, and stares Effy straight in the eye before giving a small shrug. "It's worked a few times. Even got a girl to scream it out during sex once."

"You're perverted" Effy shoots back. I think they know each other... They're awfully comfortable around one another.

"Only because you wanted kinky, babe."

_Does that imply what I think it does?_

Effy lets out an honest laugh at this, and I don't think I've heard one of those out of her since Panda sang her that song in the loony bin. _How did it go again? Something about a funny farm..._

She walks towards the airport girl - No, I still haven't managed to get a name out of her yet - and envelops her into a tight hug. When Eff releases her she says to me:

"She's just trying to be a mysterious twat, take her lightly. Her name's -"

"Eh!" The other girl cuts in. "Leave it, bitch! We're having a chat here!"

Effy looks at me, smiles, and lightly kisses my cheek before whispering "It's good to see you, Katie" Before making her exit. The girl looks back at me then, before looking behind my shoulder, and I hear a bit of a commotion. Sept is back on the stage with that group of boys, and this time she doesn't have a guitar around her neck. She places her hands on the mic, and says into it:

"Okay, guys. I thought I was done for the night, but these lovely boys thought it'd be a good idea for me to sing their song. Sit back, relax, and feel free to mosh!"

I fully turn around to face them, and I can feel my arm is grazing that girl beside me. I see Effy had made an appearance again, right in front of Sept. _I didn't know Effy was such a bloody groupie. _

It starts out with a guy in the back corner playing softly on his keyboard, and it sounds like a piano. The guy with a long and skinny guitar is on the other side quietly saying the words: "It's time for a change. This generation, this generation needs a hero." One of the other guys starts to play loud and heavy on his guitar, and it's more aggressive than I'm used to. I would leave, if it wasn't for Sept. Maybe she can save this; and she does. As the song progresses, she starts singing, and it sounds cathartic; like she is bellowing out the sound from deep within her as it booms out of her body.

_What is a man, who lays a hand on his lover, and calls it tough love?_

_What is a man, who can't take a stand for his daughter, and calls it tough love?_

The way she sings, its almost like it echo's. Bouncing off the walls of the pub and doesn't stop. Then, one of the guitar players starts screaming along with her, while she sings out melodically; balancing out his deathly screams:

_Your roots grow in the crack of the alleys, college park made you_

_Man enough to see man enough to see, there ain't a goddamn man in me_

The guys screams take over, and she takes a small step back to bob her head as the music gets louder, and more aggressive, before bellowing out again.

_What is a man, who lays a hand on his lover, and calls it tough love?_

_What is a man, who can't take a stand for his daughter, and calls it tough love?_

The guy's face is red now, and it looks if he gets any redder he's going to have a heart attack. But, after a moment that seems to me like an eternity, the guitar players suddenly shift; and it gets quieter as Sept quickly sings out:

_I'm gonna be around for ya, I'm gonna paint the town for ya,_

_I'm gonna make a promise to give you everything you want and need,_

I see her step back, as if she is about to scream at the top of her lungs, and sings out as loud as she can:

_But she fucked up now!_

And somehow feels like she is taking that line to heart, though I'm not sure what for.

_ cause she's bearing another mouth you can't feed_

There's way too many guys behind me thrashing about, and I'm terrified I'm going to get crushed. I look over to Effy, and am no where near surprised to see her completely untouched. It's like this fight pit formed around her; somehow. I think the girl beside me - yes, airport girl - senses my discomfort, because she snakes a protective arm around my shoulders, and I feel her close to me then. She smells like perfume, but it's not the usual floral kind girls wear. I would say it's the female version of cologne; hot and heavy. But it suits her. It's too close, she's too close, but for some reason I'm frozen. I've chalked it up to fear, fear that if I move I'm going to get trampled. She lifts her other arm up to move a stray piece of hair out of my face to expose my bare ear before whispering into it "She's really fucking good"

I smile, "Yeah, she is."

**So a few references in there, I read somewhere that Naomi is a comedian in Skins Fire? Crazy right! I totally wouldn't have guessed that one. Though, she was pretty funny around that Arseia chick... Oh, and those of you wondering about our new character, (yes, I said _our_. Without you reading, I'd have nothing right?) I missed Cook a lot. So, I created a female version. Sadly he isn't anywhere near our girls (which is kind of a shock tbh) so this was the only thing I could think of to bring him into it. **

**Have an awesome weekend, and Canada Day for those of you on my side of the world :) Anyone gonna go watch the fireworks?**

**Violet**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry for the big gap between chapters, I've been in a 'dark' place called Those Of Us Left... my newest fic. It's not bad, I promise. Check it out? It will surprise you ;) The summary is a bit shit, but the people reading seem to really, really love it; even if they've never heard of or played the game. It has one shocking storyline let me just say, and the fact that it's Naomily-centric will probably make up the fact that this story is lacking in it at the moment :)**

**That being said, I haven't felt very lovey-dovey, _real world_ lately (hence my submersion into the post-apocalyptic). Mostly, because Fire knocked all the romance out of me :( So this chapter was HARD. But, I struggled through it, because it's my way of thanking those of you reading. I've started a new job (painting. Sexy, right?) and I'm going on holiday next week so my updates are about to seriously lag for this story. **

**Oh, and to aeondj14, this chapter may make you love me. Just sayin' ;)**

September POV

"For fuck sakes Effy, why is it so hard for you to believe I don't want to fuck you!"

"Because everyone does!"

"Yeah, well. I don't."

"Don't protest too much."

I shake my head at her, I haven't laughed this much in a long time.

'

'

_A few hours earlier..._

After my show, the guys I played with gave me the address to their recording studio. They want to feature me in a couple of their songs, and I'm super excited. I thought about going back to New York for a while, but I'm glad Katie convinced me to stay. I've been able to relax and come out of my shell a little, I don't have to worry about things here. I can preform at dingy pubs and not worry that someone I know is going to 'show up' and make me completely self conscious. I don't look over my shoulder in the fear I'll bump into someone from my past, and the people here think I'm edgy and mysterious because I have an 'accent', though I never thought I'd ever say that sentence in my life. It's opened a lot of doors for me, I would have never been asked to sing on an album before; too much budding Hip-Hop talent in the Empire State, you see.

I was packing up, when I noticed that girl was sitting at the bar with Katie and they were actually chatting, laughing even. I decided I didn't want to intrude, because I know how lonely Katie has been. It's nice to see her hang out with someone other than me for a change. I make my way around the bar, and find Effy trying her hardest to get a message across clearly to some roided up guy who I'm assuming was making advances towards her. It was strange, she actually looked unsettled, so I did what I always do in this situation; pull a super-mario and rescue the damsel in distress. _Big mistake_.

"Hey Eff" I try to appear chipper, like we are here together and I've been looking for her. I walk up to her, grab her hand tighly and kiss her cheek for emphasis. _Take the hint, buddy. _Little do I know this just aggrivates him more.

"So" He starts, eying me up like a prized piece of meat. _Ugh, no wonder she's trying to turn you down; you smell like a brewery. _"This is what you turned me down for? some..." He looks at me objectivly before completing his sentence "...fucking, cunt? Oh honey, please let me show you what driving stick feels like, huh? Better than licking any day" He wiggles his brows at her and I've had enough.

"Hey!" I snap at him like I'm chastising a child. "How 'bout you fuck off? Take rejection like a _man_, or are you a _bitch_ that doesn't let things go?" _Bad idea turned worse._

He growls in anger and goes to swing, and at the same time I grab Effy's arm and pull her behind me. There is a loud CRACK! Sound, and one of the guys I sang with smacks him over the head with a beer bottle. "Eh!" He shouts. "Di'int you hear our song earlier? Real men don't hit women, you shit!" In one swift motion, the guy is lifted off the ground by some security guard - his head bleeding profusely (from all the alcohol in his system most likely) - and is thrown out the back door on his face. My buddy from the band turns to me, and says to me and Effy "Right. Some guys can be right pricks. You gals okay?" I pat his arm to thank him, before I turn my attention to a clearly upset Effy. He squeezes my shoulder telling me to deal with her, and saunters off to his band mates. _I'll thank him later. _

"Eff?" I ask. "Are you okay?"

She's looking off somewhere, and her eyes are like a deer in headlights. "Eff?" I ask again, this time placing my hand lightly on her shoulder to get her attention. Her gaze fixes on my hand, then up my arm, and eventually my face; and it finally registers that I'm talking to her. She doesn't reply, she just attacks me with a bone-crushing hug. _Somehow it feels like her legs are off the ground..._ She pulls away, and finally looks into my eyes. And it's wierd, the way she's looking at me. _No one's ever looked at me that way, not even Emily. The fuck is she thinking?_

She looks down, takes in our proximity, and steps back before saying a tentative "Thanks. That guy wouldn't take a hint" i smile at her, and go to say something when I hear Katie from behind me shouting "Hey! He-... _piss off tosser!_" She pushes some skinny guy out of her way. "Hey, are you guys okay? Did I just see some bloke take a swing at you?!"

_I bet Katie could have gotten him to fuck off, that mouth of hers would've made his invisible tail tremble between his legs_. "Yeah, everything's fine, really. I'm gonna take Effy home, okay? Stay, have fun with your _friend_" I give her a playful smirk, and she rolls her eyes.

" 's alright, I can come with ya? I don't need to like, be here or anything" I look over Katie's shoulder, and see her friend has returned from the washroom, watching our exchange closely as if trying to figure out her next move based on Katie's.

"No, Katie." I start "You have a friend to catch up with." I nod towards the girl, and Katie turns; her face turning bright red.

"But I-" she goes to argue, but I playfully push her "It's not gonna kill you to have some fun for once! Call me if you need anything, okay?" And I hug her goodnight. We break away from each other, and she gives me a thankful smile before she turns to Effy and says:

"It was good to see you too, Effy. We should catch up, yeah?" Effy smiles back at her, and she walks back to the bar and the girl.

"Seems like she does well with both sexes. I'm guessing this is your doing?" She gestures to Katie, and I know she's implying Katie's recent... team change.

"Oh, no" I say "This was all her. She is a twin after all, just took her a little longer is all" I wink at her, before taking her hand and ushering her out of the bar with me. "Come on!" I say, pulling her along the street with me. "I'm starved. Food?"

She nods, and laughs at my enthusiasm as we briskly walk down the street towards a bright yellow sign that has chinese symbols on it. _Chinese it is then. _

'

'

_Present Time_

"So, Effy. Tell me, why are you having so much trouble with those chopsticks? I've heard you're quite famillar with _sticks_" I jibe playfully.

She looks up at me between taking mouthful's of rice and chicken, ineffectively being able to get the chicken from the plate to her mouth. She glares at me, but still manages to smile at my dig before literally tossing the chopsticks over her shoulder - landing somewhere on the floor under a table - as she reaches over to the table next to us and grabs a fork. I laugh, becuase she can be so defiant without even having to say a word.

"Because..." She responds, after scooping up a healthy amount of rice into her mouth "... I discovered the power of the pussy." She says this with the straightest face I've ever seen, and I picked the worst time to take a mouthful of noodles. I choke, and a few bits of noodle go flying back out on my plate before I cover my mouth with my hands. "What the..." I cough out. "...Fuck did you say?!" She full on laughs now, her face contorting into a big bright smile, and it's actually quite a nice sound; Effy laughing. The lack of creases in her face tell me that she doesn't do it often, and that's really sad.

"Yup, I did. And I promise you I'm well versed. I could make it worth your while" She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at me.

"For fuck sakes Effy, why is it so hard for you to believe I don't want to fuck you!"

"Because everyone does!" She shouts, laughing as she does so.

"Yeah, well. I don't." I say, raising one of my eyebrows in defiance.

"Don't protest too much." She says, scooping up another piece of chicken off her plate and into her smiling mouth. She is being smug now, chewing away happily while she squints her eyes and cocks her head at me.

"So full of yourself, Stonem."

She nods to this playfully, and then I see her demeanor change drastically; like she forgot to turn the oven off or something. She places her fork down on her plate, uses a napkin to wipe her face, and looks at me. Seriousness is evident, so much for teasing.

"How are you holding up?" is all she asks. She has nothing in her hands, nothing to distract her or me. Her full attention is on me and I don't exactly like it.

"I..." I stutter. How do I do this? How do I tell her that I'm in hell?

"I don't know." I say. I guess it's time to be honest. "I feel like Christina Perri is mocking me, you know? Like a thousand years isn't going to be enough for me to feel okay again."

She nods, and still hasn't taken her icy blue eyes off of me. "Well," She starts "I don't know what to tell you. Getting over a Fitch is tough business."

"Come again?" I croak. Was she in love with Emily?

She smiles at this, and shakes her head. "Take a breath Hun, not her. Katie."

"What about Katie?" I ask, clearly not getting the hint here.

"I had feelings for Katie once upon a time. But I lived."

That seems like the oddest pairing in the world. Bitchy, style obsessed Katie Fitch and edgy, observant and quiet Effy Stonem? On what planet...

"I assume you broke it off then?" Is the next words out of her mouth. How did she know?

"Emily wouldn't have done it, she's too kind. Probably would have married you and had lots of babies if you didn't. Though, you probably know that."

I nod. I know she would have stuck it out with me. Hell, we could have been married forever. But, I love Emily. And I wouldn't want her to be unhappy, and I would have eventually broke down because I know deep down that I'm just not **it** for her. I think that's the worst part of it all.

"Well, I took your advice Effy. I got out of their way, and now I just have to burn and move on."

She's confused now. "What advice?"

Really? You don't remember? I scan her face looking for any kind of malice or deviance, but there's only confusion; and I see a bit of fear behind her eyes as well.

"Uhm... I went over to your place, talked you out of the bathroom. Don't you remember?"

She looks down sadly and shakes her head. I don't know exactly how to proceed, and when she lifts her head up I see something I never thought I'd see; tears forming. "I'm messed up, I'm sick. I have all kinds of medication, I do fucked up things. I don't remember what happened that night, and if I did something to hurt you I'm so-" I cut her off by placing my lips on hers. I feel her place a hand on my back and her other hand on my neck. _Okay, so I didn't think this would turn into something so intimate. Shit. Why doesn't this feel the same as last time? I was just trying to comfort her. Though, it's not that bad... I kinda feel better? Fuck. _

I pull away from her, and I see that one single tear has escaped and trailed down her face. I see them then, the creases in her face. Those ones you should get when your older, because you've smiled and laughed so much. But, in her, I see them when she cries, like she's cried more often than anything. I push aside my hesitance then and kiss the top of her head before saying quietly:

"I know. It's nothing I can't handle."

Katie POV

"Are your friends okay?" She asks, as I walk back over to our bar stools.

"Yeah, 'course." I reply, slumping myself back down next to her.

She turns to me, smirks, and orders another drink. I'm starting to feel fuzzy so I ask the barman for a coffee.

"Going somewhere?" She asks, eyebrow raised.

"No, I just need to cool it is all. I'm not 16 anymore." I chuckle in response.

She smiles while taking another sip of her drink, and then places it down on the table. Something has changed, because there is a silence between us that wasn't there before. So, my mind and ears wander to the music pumping out of the loudspeaker above me. This is the fucking strangest song I think I've ever heard.

_gimme a drink a water,_

_ I'm gonna 'sing around the collar'_

_ And I don't need a microphone_

I look up, just passed the wine glasses hung by their stems above the barman, and see some images flash on a TV screen. I think it's following the song? There's a guy on the screen (I think it's a guy. My vision is a little blurry) dressed in red and then it suddenly shifts to a black and white movie thing. Is this what passes for music now a days? Is the song even in sync?

_ handcuffed to a bunk_

_ Robbed blind_

_ Looked around_

_ And there was nobody else_

Well, I guess it's not **that** bad, the guitar is actually quite catchy.

_ Left alone_

_ I hit myself with a stone_

_ Went home_

_ And learned how to clean up after myself _

Ha! there's some old lady on there with a white eyeball! That's funny, man. Wow. I am really drunk.

"Can I ask you something?" She blurts out, startling me a little since my body was starting to get used to the silence.

"Sure" I nod. _Why the fuck not, right?_

"Are you with that girl who sang earlier?"

"Who?" I ask. "September?"

"Yeah" She nods. "Cause I wanna take you home, and that's cool if you want a fling and all, but I don't fuck people in relationships."

If my mind wasn't so foggy at the moment from so much alcohol, I probably would have said 'What the fuck' really loudly. But, if there's anything booze and life have taught me, it's to enjoy the little things. I'm gonna take this as a compliment instead of an insult to my 'straight' projection. Besides, she's well fit, and I did snog the hell out of that girl when I visited Em in New York. _That reminds me..._

"Where are you from?" I ask. She looks at me, raises her eyebrow at me for what feels like the third time tonight, and shakes her head before having another sip of her drink.

"I'll take that as a no." She mumbles. "Good, 'cause I think that girl she was with has a serious thing for her anyway."

"Who? Effy?"

"Miami." She replies quickly. Finishing her drink in one swift motion.

This conversation is getting seriously jumbled, and my incoherent brain is working at top speed. And, lets face it. I'm in 'the mood'. Listening to music that gets my heart pumping and drinking with a pretty, and dare I say anonymous girl makes me feel better. She's not from around here, so I don't have to worry about calling her or whatever after. Strange, this must be what it's like for guys. No wonder they fuck up all the time, they don't have half the brain power, so how on earth can they figure out when to call or if they should? I know I'm not going to even ask for her number. Time for anonymous lesbian sex baby.

I sip the last mouthful of my coffee, and stand up. She looks surprised, as I reach out and take her hand. "Okay." I say. "Miami, is it?" She looks sceptically at me, and then smiles and nods in response.

"Good. Let's go then."

******Now, ****I know there was no Naomily, and that's my fault. I'm having HUGE brain farts (pause for laughter) when it comes to their date, hence the un-Naomily related chapter :( (I was struggling before Fire, but now it's worse.) You know what would help me update quicker? Your ideas :) Reviews :D Anything XD Shameless, I know. I just love to hear from you is all. Honest, it makes my day. Thank you to those of you who have given me your ideas, they have been really lovely and I appreciate your efforts. I just need some serious jump-starting of my romantic heart is all. Yeah, I'm needy. Sorry. **

**'Till next time, **

**xo Violet**


	21. Chapter 21

I owe you an explanation as to this 'current chapter update'. The truth is, this isn't a 'chapter' and I will take it down once I return from holiday. I think Fire needs to be addressed. (Mostly because I'm writing this on some poor guys' roof - and my fucking Blackberry keeps playing songs like "Please Don't Go" and "Coming Home" like it's fucking mocking me.) The joy of my new job was supposed to be that it gives me headspace, that coincidentally has been filled with what happened to Naomily instead of doing what it was intended to do; clear my mind of all rubbish.

I am devastated, as many of you are I would assume. Naomily gave me something I was seriously lacking in my life; and that was courage and acceptance. They helped me accept who I am, and portrayed our favourite couple as what we all hope things would be. Two people, scared to death of each other, falling in love. All the fear and drama and heartbreak that goes along with it. Now, I love 'Love Actually' just as much as the next girl, but that never really did anything for me, you know? It's hard to relate to things sometimes. Naomily gave us all what we needed in our lives, and I assume since we're all here; we've continued to need it long after it was over.

Now, I get it. I really, really do. I KNOW first hand, just how horrible and unforgiving this world can be. I understand that 'life is shit and then you die'. I understand that 'only the good die young', blah fucking blah. I am reminded on a constant basis - as I'm sure you are as well - of how fucking cruel this world can be. But what I don't get, is why they had to wave 'hey we're bringing back Skins - with Naomily - WHO ARE STILL TOGETHER!' in our faces, and then do something so horrible as to make us watch. Make us watch Naomi literally wither away, while Effy jumps on every baloney pony in London, and a blissfully unaware Emily in fucking New York. How horrible is that? Finding out that the love of your life is dying, while you're thousands of miles away trying to build a bright future with said love, all the while she's been alone and in pain; in the vague presence of some twat who really did 'steal your time with her'?

They knew exactly what they were doing when they wrote Fire. They KNEW how much Naomily meant to everyone. Young, old, pre-adult. They wrote the storyline for a purpose. I believed that purpose was for good, not for what they've done to it now.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, and I know that _mynameislizzie_ (who by the way, I totally support her 1000% on her A/N. If any of you are mad at her outburst, you're mad at me too because of course - her being much more articulate at things than me - I feel the EXACT same way) and many other friends of mine like (the wonderfully patient with me) _MissMaraBored_ are just as upset and heart broken. So I guess this is my call to all my friends from around the world, that I love you and I'm here for you, and I really hope we can help each other through this. I believe that _Miss-Maraudeur's _A/N in her new chapter of Educating Naomi said it the best, that we all need a group hug and we will have to plough through.

And FYI, I'm that brooding girl in the corner, because I've never been offered a hug as a consolation before. So yeah, I may try to hide away while everyone is in a group hug, but I'm secretly screaming inside for a little comfort. So I will join you all, we will just have to hug it out I guess.

That's all I've got my loves, I hope to see you soon.

xoxo VioletW


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey! Long time, no see! How have you guys been? I have the chapter you have been waiting for :) Granted, it's a little short, but I really wanted to get this out to you as quick as I could; because I'm sure some of you are still reeling from Fire and could use a little Naomily love right now. Sorry for the rant of a chapter earlier, but we've got each other to get through it; right? Anyways. Many of you amazing people have helped me get over it to write this chapter out (along with some lovely Cuban Rum... the dark kind. White rum tastes like nail polish remover, yuk. ***Kids, don't drink. If you do, you'll end up a lonely loser like me lol) so thanks to every single one of you. From the bottom of my heart, to all you readers, reviewers, and PM'ing darlings, thank you. **

**Special thanks to _mynameislizzie_ for pimping me out in her last chapter of Orange Wednesdays, and also to my awesome friend _django1992 _for reviewing every. single. chapter. Check these guys out if you haven't already. The Missing Redhead is freaking cool, and also has incredibly long and detailed chapters. And Lizzie's new story The Long Road Home, let's just say I'm in love with it. Not only are they two very awesome people, but very talented writers as well. **

**Oh, before I forget. The very lovely and exceptionally witty _garden-nomes_ dubbed this in one of our lovely conversations_ - Skins Fire: driving teetotallers to drink. _So fucking true! Did that to me. **

**On with the chapter!**

Naomi POV

Nothing seems to register quite right. It never has, really. The way life likes to fuck with you, likes to remind you that you are worth so much, yet so little. I've been flailing about for years, in the midst of a life that was never my own. It's all led up to this moment, this very moment, and I would go through it all a million times over if it were the only possible way to end up here. Here, that feels so bloody much like home. Though, it is quite uncomfortable; laying on the snow like this. But none of that seems to matter, my extremidies don't seem to care about the immence feel of freeze against the back of my body. Here, I lay on the snow. Face upwards at the dark night sky, with the only light imminating off the falling snowflakes that tickle down upon my face. I watch as they get bigger, and prettier, with each passing moment. But its not the beauty of the scenery that I am paying attention to. Its not the way the lights make the cosway look almost suspended in air, and its not the way the night sky is so clear, that I can, and have, pointed a finger into the air and connected the bright shining stars together to create Cassiopeia. No, it really is none of those things that makes my skin stand at attention, all the million Goosebumps forming across my entire body. Though, it is quite beautiful, and peaceful, here. It's the woman laying beside me, the woman who has her head rested on my shoulder. The woman I have my arm around, and whom is holding onto my hand like its the easiest thing in the world. It's Emily Fitch. It always has been Emily Fitch. We are so different, me with my face towards the falling snow while hers is pressed flat against my shoulder; as if to shield her from the flecks. But that's what makes us so perfect, that we are so unique to one another that it makes us somehow closer, simmilar. We appreceate the things about each other that we don't posess; even envy some things about the other.

I envy her. I always have. I envy her strength, her commitment, her determination. I envy her abilities, I envy her courage. But somehow, just by being with her, I manage to absorb some of her into myself. I become braver, I become stronger. And that has always been the worst part about me. I have always been nothing without her.

She shifts a little, and I feel her warm breath brush against my neck before warm lips are pressed to my jawbone. It's a simple gesture, that sends me reeling. She doesn't move her proximity to my face, and stares into my eyes; daring me. Daring me to turn to her, daring me to look back at her. And I blame my nature, I really, really do, because I take her dare. Though I am fully aware that it will destroy me entirely.

"I guess it was _your _turn to take _me_ somewhere beautiful." Is all she says. And it sends fire shooting down my spine.

"It was," I start "but this isn't why I brought you here."

She raises her eyebrow at me in defiance, and it makes the corners of my mouth curl up just a little.

"Oh?"

"Yup. I have something to show you, but you're so heavy... I can't get up to lead you off." I raise my eyebrow then, because I've always felt safer being slightly detached with teases over romantic truths. Because I hope that in some wierd way, this will even out what is about to come.

She shifts off me, blushing, and mumbles '_such a cock_' under her breath as she lifts herself off me. I raise with her, and kiss her temple, before effortlessly moving onto my feet. I grab her hands and lift her up, and smile cheekily at her.

"What does that matter, anyway? If your quite solid for your size?" I ask, as I rub my thumb across the back of her cold, weather beaten hands.

"If all that was left of you was your smile, and your little finger... I'd still be head over heels in love with you." My cheeky grin has turned into a genuine smile, because of the stupid honesty that has just escaped my lips. I hate the way my mouth just blurts out this shit when I'm around her.

She must sense my discomfort, because after a fleeting moment of pure adoration in her eyes, she shifts to something equally as crippling; flirtation.

She leans in, rests her right hand along that place where my neck and shoulder meet, and rests her chin on my other shoulder as she whispers softly into my ear.

"That's because you know what I can do with my little finger."

And I do. I really, really fucking do. I know exactly what she can do and it's utterly a fucking art form. I can't retort, and I can't let this moment escape me, because I brought her here for a reason. We've been sat on this hill - Richmond Hill - for a far more supirior purpose than to just take in the night sky and the beauty of the place. I didn't bring her here to just plop us down and look at the river that has formed huge iceburgs that slowly drift downstream as the seconds of time turn into minutes. I brough her here for my tree.

We walk in silence, her small hand wrapped up protectively in mine. We haven't spoken much, come to think of it. I think, that in some way, this is our way of making up for the time we should have been together; for getting back to the us we were meant to be. The crunching of old snow beneath our feet is the only sound we can hear, apart from the occasional gust of wind that blows past us. It's not a far ways away from where we have been perched, but it seems to take forever as my nerves get the best of me. My insides are doing dances, to the point where I don't know if I'm going to vomit; or drop dead from a heart attack. As my body does internal jumping jacks, I recignise the spot where I have been leading us to. My tree, that is stood tall, and strong. Withstanding the cold and the wind like a concrete barrier, that is both ironic, and meaningful as to why I defaced it so long ago.

_Here goes nothing._

We reach the tree, and I remain stoic. I can feel Emily shift beside me, unaware as to why I have stopped so suddenly infront of this tree. But I don't have it in me to open my mouth, or even look into her eyes. So I keep my eyes fixed on the spot that I hope she will follow my gaze to. After a moment, and a few confused sounding _'Naomi?'_s later, she sees what I see. She lets go of my hand then, and it feels quite empty and cold without hers there; as she takes a few steps towards the trunk of the tree.

A few agonizing moments have passed, and now she's the one who's eyes are fixed on the tree, as my gaze has shifted to Emily.

"Did..." She croaks. "...did you write this?"

"Yes." _Phew. Thank fuck I managed a response. _

"When?"

"A few years ago, not long after..." I trail off, because this moment is precious. I don't want to ruin it by reminding her how much of a cock I can be.

"Oh." Is all she says, and I would have vomited right then and there from the sheer lack of words coming out of her mouth if it wasn't for the fact that she reached forward, and placed her hand on the carved spot on the trunk of the tree. She runs her hand across it, and then traces every letter with her fingertip.

_I never lost you by loving, I lost you by holding back. If we ever find our way back to each other, I will bring you here. This is everything that I am, and that everything; is you. Emily Fitch, this is a declaration. I, Naomi fucking Campbell, will love the socks off you until the day I die._

I haven't been here since the day I carved this, and I curse myself under my breath for such a sad excuse for a confession carved into the base of a tree. But it was honest, it was true. And Emily never really loved me for my ability to form coherant sentences on my feelings. She loved me for me, and how I was ever able to throw that away, I'll never really know.

She steps back from it then, and smooths out her sweater as she does so. She takes in a deep breath, and lets it out as the small puff of smoke floats above her head at the exhale.

"I would have thought that my socks were the last thing you'd ever think about to take off me." She says to the air, and at any other moment; I would have loved for her to turn to humour as a response. But this, this is dangerous. This is sensitive, like handling bio-hazardous material with you're bare hands. I'm holding my breath, becuase I need to hear what she's feeling. And when she doesn't recieve a response from me, she must get the message. She turns around, looks me dead in the eye, and walks over to me calmly. She stops right infront of me, and just continues to stare into my eyes. And I can't help but think that her eyes have gotten more intense, more... terrifying. She searches me for what seems like a lifetime, pulling at everything inside of me as she stares. She could always read me like a book, and this is one of those times where she knows it. Where she knows it and is doing it, with no sembelance of hiding it. She turns my pages gently between her fingers, and grazes her eyes over every letter and punctuation mark I possess before she finally responds.

"You never really stopped loving me, did you?"

"I..." _Time to be honest here, Naomi_. "...I lost respect for you, which was bad enough. Though, why I ever felt that way is beyond me. You were right, you're always right. And I realized that a little too late."

She looks me over for a moment, checking for any signs of... well, dishonesty I'm guessing. Then she speaks again, and she is eerily calm as the words escape her mouth.

"Do you think it was your way of evening the playing field? We both know how much you detest being vulnerable; and in the shed you were very... open."

_...Shit._ She's right. She's always fucking right. I've even done the same thing just an hour ago. Reverting to humour and anything else I can to avoid feeling bare. I ruined everything we had together because I needed some kind of power back, some kind of self-respect. Because being weak has always been a hard pill for me to swallow, because loosing control has never been made a habit for me. Tipping the scales so they are forever in my favour? even Katie saw that, and I never really thought of her as the 'I see shit' type. Emily sees me, though. Sees my mind going a hundred miles a minute. I can practically_ feel_ the cogs in my head turning painfully, as the rust flakes off with each excruciatingly slow turn. She places her hand calmly on my forearm, and coos to me gently.

"Naomi, I didn't expect you to change who you are _completely_. Then you wouldn't be the wonderful woman I fell in love with. I've always loved EVERYTHING about you, including your insecurities and flaws. It's okay to be flawed."

She wraps her arms around me then, and the sensation of her warm little body pressed into mine, with her slight breathing against my neck; _I want that forever._

"You don't have to be sorry anymore, Naomi. I forgive you."

**I really hope this was both worth the wait, and eased your heartache from Fire a little. I took a fair bit of advice from reviewers, so credit is definitely due there. Also, during one of the days I got rained out of the beach and ended up watching Spanish Hollywood movies in the hotel room, the movie Serendipity was one of the many things I watched that day. The scene where JC lays down in the middle of the ice rink, and it starts to snow was a big inspiration for this chapter. Lastly, because I am shamelessly in love with Daniel Craig, I added my favourite lines from Casino Royale in here. **

**Much Love, friends. **

**xoV**


	23. Chapter 23

**Wow, it's been a while. **

** Really, I am not proud of it. Erm... So I may have jumped the gun earlier when I said I broke my writers block. I have been busy as well, so that definitely didn't help things. I'm feeling like this story is hitting it's end, since I've tried to write it like episodes of Skins... at least I hope that's how it reads? **

**Fire hasn't helped, though you already know that. Truth be told, I've been trying to heal that wound for a while, and even though it is now a dull ache, the thing I yearn for now is Naomily. You know, the one that ended abruptly - and perfectly - at the end of Season 4? I was able to find that in the form of an awesome Tumblr page generously given to me by a cherished friend, so if you need some of that old Naomily love, visit my profile page; the link is number 1 on there. **

**I've also been told that Jess what'sherface has raised another Twitter, and broken everyone's hearts AGAIN by confirming that her story concludes that Naomi actually... yeah. Now, I don't use the word - because I feel it is a very un-ladylike term to use - but I have to; so I'm going to say she is a big C U Next Tuesday. *Deep breaths* Some people... What else can I say, really? Short of missing the GIANT SHIP known as Keffy, Fire is one of the biggest mistakes (in my opinion, though I've never been accused of having one agreed on by many others) in television history. **

Katie POV

I'm nervous, that much I know. I mean, come on. Men are so easy, you know? They are... _external_ creatures, and as long as you do that one easy motion; you're pretty much a pro. So why am I here - in this hotel room - with a strange, beautiful **woman** that I've never met? Okay yes, we did meet that one time, but I don't know her fucking name. And I gave up on trying to figure that out so now I just pretend I don't care. Because that's the Katie Fucking Fitch way of doing things; if you act like it doesn't bother you, eventually your brain will take the bloody hint. Miami - as I've come to call her - went out to get some more liquor, upon my request; and I'm dancing along to her iPod playing through the hotel alarm clock. I have to admit, she has fabulous taste in music for a lezza. I mean, to look at her you'd think she was as straight as they come, and her music taste is no different. Artists like Katy Perry, Lily Allen, all the good pop/techno shit; and hell. She even has Go West and The Buggles. I'm not complaining, obviously. She has just about every song I've ever heard or liked, plus a few hidden gems I haven't heard. So I can't help wanting to dance out my discomfort, as I toss my jacket down on the arm of the corner chair as a random song starts to pound through the room.

_Bored, stoned, sitting in your basement_

_All alone, cause your little conversations_

_got around, now look at what we all found out_

I move my hips quickly in time with the beat, and close my eyes; taking in every sensation I feel. From the rough carpeting on the pads of my feet, to the cotton fibres of my dress. It's as if I feel every strand of hair that comes loose, and every pore on my body open up as I strain every muscle I can manage. I'm trying to drown out the noise in my head with the noise in the room, and minus the butterflies that are at war inside of me; it seems to be working.

_That you have got a set of loose lips, twisting stories_

_All because you're jealous_

_Now I know exactly what you're all about_

The song is quickly paced, so as I bounce around I can feel the sweat dripping down my back, where the material on my dress has decided to lift effortlessly off my skin. No one is around, so I'm letting loose. I bob my head animatedly, and use my arms and hips to sway quickly with each trumpet scream. I've gotten into the song fully at this point, and decide raise my arms above my head for the adrenaline that is about to come.

_Girl, your such a backstabber_

_Taking and twisting and turning so manipulating_

_Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known_

_And everybody knows it_

Just as I am about to start jumping, my body tensing its core muscles, I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind. I'd be terrified, but I can tell from the bulky black watch with bright green accents - that I have seen on a familiar girl earlier tonight - that this isn't a random come in to burgle. She presses her front against me from behind as the music starts to die down, and places a soft kiss on my shoulder.

"Not 'gonna lie, you're quite a sight to come back to."

I smile, though I can't really help it. She's nice, it's nice. It's different, that much I know. It's not an easy thing to get used to - being with a woman - because I feel like all my power has been taken from me. I hold power with men, I can manipulate and control any situation however I please. It's like playing with a puppet, the strings are always easily accessable. But with her, maybe with all women, it's unpredictable; and always on an even keel. It's as if the loss of control held by one person is gone, and you each hold a key to the door. But the trick? You have to work together, and use your keys at the same time to unlock the gates of pure paradise. Its... euphoric.

"Yeah, well. You took forever, so I had to keep myself busy somehow." I say this as detached as I can muster, because it's how I find even ground amongst the tremors.

She removes her hands, kisses my head, and moves over to the table opposite me. "I got you the finest red wine from Joe's Gas Bar. Twelve pounds, if you can believe it! Quite the bargain." She says this with humorous sarcasm, and her smile is uncanny. It reaches her ears like a mischievous child, but there's also something else in there that I like; her glassy green eyes.

"So, Katie. Drinks before, or after we shag?"

_Brownie points for being blunt, I guess._

"And what makes you think I'm gonna shag you?" I say, quirking my eyebrow up.

She looks at me for a moment, before a sly smile traces across her lips and she walks over to me; slowly.

"Because..." She starts, as she reaches a hand up to brush a rogue strand of hair behind my ear. "...You want it, and I want it. So are you going to deny us the satisfaction of getting together? You've gotta know, I can make you feel _alright_."

She's playful, I'll give her that. But I still feel uneasy, and she can sense it. She takes a small step back and sighs. "Hun, I'm not going to force this. If you don't want it, just say so."

For the first time in my life, I feel like being honest. Fuck it, right? What's the worst that could happen.

"I've not shagged a girl before, so I don't know... _what _to do."

She smiles, takes my hand and leads me to the side of the bed. My butterflies have intensified, because I really don't know what is happening. She hasn't said a word... until she does. She sits next to me, rakes her hands soothingly across my upper back, and whispers softly.

"Don't you worry about a thing, love. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy yourself."

Naomi POV

I couldn't have asked for a better reaction from Emily, even if I rubbed the side of a genie lamp... or maybe just rubbed a genie... _the fuck, Naomi. _The point is, Emily and I are finally in a good place. Where we can start over, where I can actually fight for her. And I'm prepared to do that, even though Emily has always stayed where I could reach her. She wants to know what I've been up to since she left all those years ago, and she wants to know every little detail. So I tell her about my life, I tell her that I have an embarrassingly huge amount of love for my Mythology course, and that this term we were learning about mythological creatures. I told her how we learned about a demigodess named Empusa, and how her flaming red hair and seductive nature constantly reminded me of Emily. That earned me a slap - because Emily has never been a fan of being compared to a creature that feeds off the blood of men - though it didn't stop me from explaining that the Gorgon sisters also reminded me of her. I explained the reason was because there was a sister that reminded me so much of Katie - Euryale - the sister most known for her death-bellowing screams. I got another slap for that, but I didn't mind. It made her laugh, at least. I tell her about the progress I am making in therapy, about how my coach says I am terrified of pain and loneliness. How my incessant need to sabotage good things in my life stems from feeling unworthy of love; that my father leaving made me believe that I wasn't worth loving. How I internalize a lot of my anxieties, and how I snap to rash decisions when I feel something - or someone - doesn't meet my expectations. She doesn't seem at all phased by my truths - like she somehow knew them all along - that makes me think going into Psychology was the right choice for her._ Strange, she still loved me anyways_. I tell her how Effy thinks I should be a journalist, and it doesn't surprise me that she agrees.

"You were always good at that stuff. Getting down to the most important parts of a story, and scrutinizing when there was something irrelevant!" She chuckles, and I can't help but feel numb to the cold. I'm warm when I'm with her, and that's all I could ever ask for.

"Yeah, well. If I did that, I wouldn't be able to travel, and I hate the idea of being stuck in a cubicle the rest of my life."

She raises an eyebrow at me, and wipes some fallen snow off my shoulder before asking, "Why wouldn't you be able to travel?"

"Because..." I start. "Effy needs someone to look after her. And I can't leave her alone while I galavant around the world. I'd always be worried that when I came home, she'd be writing her name on the walls in blood."

Emily eyes me cautiously, and replies "Since when do you life your life for others? For Effy?"

"Since I know how bad she gets. Since I know how little her family is there for her. Since.. Freds."

Emily doesn't say anything, and I'm surprised myself. I feel like I'm on a roll, and I guess it's time to let it out. "Effy never talks about him. neither do I, I just... I'm so mad at him for leaving us. For leaving Effy. He's the only one who can take care of her, who **could** take care of her-"

"Naomi," She cuts in. "You know he didn't _leave _us, right?"

"I know, I'm not really mad at him I just... I'm scared for her. I'm always scared for her. And there's no one around that I can trust her with."

She smiles, and takes my hand. "One day, Effy will find someone who can handle her. Just like you have someone that can handle you. I know it's no comfort, but have faith; yeah?"

She squeezes lightly, and my resolve echoes. She's right, she must be right. I'm here with her, after everything that I've done; she's still standing right in front of me.

Effy POV

I don't feel so good. It's late, and the bright lights in contrast to the dark night sky is making my head throb. It's tough, the new pills I am on give me sensitivity to flourescent light, and it feels like there is a circus going on in my head. With each pulse, its as if someone is hitting a high striker with a sledge hammer; and winning. I don't want to tell September, because let's face it. I'd have to explain _why_, and I've grown accustomed to keeping that part of me secret. Though, she was there for my last episode; according to Naomi.

"Is something wrong?"

_Fuck. She noticed_. "I'm fine."

"The color has drained from your face. Is it the lights?"

"...How do you-"

"My brother used to have migraines. He had a hard time indoors, and at cinemas. Come on, I'll take you home." She pats my shoulder reassuringly, and we begin to walk towards my flat.

Something in me is telling me to do something - anything - to get some form of physical contact with her. The throbs in my head are only drowned out by the shrieks urging me to grab onto her. So I comply, cautiously, as I snake my arm inside her's and hold on tight. She flinches, but doesn't dare look at me - as she slips that hand inside of her jacket pocket. She is warm, and inviting, though I wouldn't dare compare her to anyone else. You can't live life comparing others to someone you've lost, or else no one will measure up; no one will be enough for you. We walk silently through the night, and it's snowing. Quite romantic - if this were a movie - because it kind of feels like it would be filmed in another life. The lights illuminate the falling flakes and they almost twinkle like stars, landing quietly and softly on us. She looks nice like this, it feels nice like this. For once, I feel contempt; less alone. And I like this feeling.

"You've got some color back..." She breaks. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Good." She smiles, and it is a sight that makes my blood run hot. I grip her arm tighter as we continue on our walk, and I can see the smoke start to form at the intense temperature change of the air to out breath.

We arrive at the flat, and the time is already a quarter past two a.m. I don't think it safe for her to walk home this late, especially since she seems to be a magnet for trouble; so as I open my mouth to invite her in, she speaks first.

"Sweet dreams, Effy." She lets go of my arm and starts to walk, and she gets a few feet before I manage to find the words in my throat. "Actually... wait!" I shout, and she stops in her tracks.

"Stay here tonight... I'll sleep on the couch, just stay."

She inhales, and turns around reluctantly. Her boots clump loudly against the snow, as she makes her way slowly back to me. When she is a few steps away - I don't know why I do it - but I reach my hand out to her. She looks into my eyes, and I feel uneasy in her gaze. I feel naked, and scrutinized. Like everything is out in the open, every last scrap of paper displayed for her to study. But she has never once made it feel like I was unsafe, like her growing knowledge of me would harm me. She has kept the monsters away, she knows what to say, and how I'm feeling. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay having that.

She reaches out, takes my hand in hers, and I smile for the first time in my life.

**Okay, so. Can you feel the conclusion happening? I can... I feel like doing a future one soon. Like, a 'where they ended up' kind of chapter evolution. Let me know if the next chapter is too soon to make that leap? **

**I love you guys, as always. Thank you for everything that you do. I still can't believe there are so many of you out there who read. It floors me. **

**xoV**

**Oh, by the way. That song in Katie's POV, I heard it on a show (it may have been PLL, but I can't remember) and INSTANTLY thought of Katie. I mean, come on right? It has her attitude! Well, at least I think it does. Anyways, had to throw that one in. Sorry. Bye now. **


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